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  17.      | |                                                                | |
  18.      | |      c   o   m   m   u   n   i   c   a
  19.  t   i   o   n   s     | |
  20.      | |________________________________________________________________| |
  21.      |____________________________________________________________________|
  22.  
  23.   ...presents...                My Circumcision
  24.                                                          by Franken Gibe
  25.  
  26.                       >>> a cDc publication.......1991 <<<
  27.                         -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
  28.  
  29. _____________________________________________________________________________
  30. _
  31.  
  32.  
  33.      I had
  34.  foreskin.  About three yards of the stuff.  It used to hang outta
  35. the bottom of my pants leg.  Sometimes I'd use it to tie my sneaker when the
  36. laces broke.  You know I did this.  It was publicized in several important
  37. periodicals under the heading of "Farm Machinery Innovations."
  38.  
  39.      I knew the foreskin wasn't mine.  I saw pictures of myself as a child
  40. without six feet of flabby flesh shoved in my right front pocket.  My parents
  41. were in on my subsequent acquisition of foreskin.  It was rubbery, not like
  42.  
  43. skin.  More like a petroleum product.  I now know it was an experiment
  44. initiated by extraterrestrial genital engineers.  I now know they hoped to
  45. establish a race of Exaggerated Foreskin Creatures... EFC's.  I now know that
  46. they hope the EFC's would form a pool of slave labor.  Later, the foreskins
  47. would be removed and used by several collaborating automotive conglomerates in
  48. Japan as a Wonder Material for auto upholstery.
  49.  
  50.      When I enlisted the services of a Renegade gynecologist to remove the
  51. foreskin,
  52.  I noticed that Dan Rather and Peter Jennings BOTH evidenced signs of
  53. nervousness in their nightly broadcasts.  Dan stumbled over the word "fuselage"
  54. twice, and Peter picked at a scab on his lower calf.  The latter was revealed
  55. to me in a letter sent by A Friend.
  56.  
  57.      The doctor used laser technology (acquired from a crashed ET space
  58. vehicle) to cut off the foreskin.  It measured 9ft, 4in. when stretched.  I had
  59. the foreskin tanned and stuffed, and now use it in food processing.
  60.   _   _   _________________
  61. ___________________________________________________
  62. /((___))\|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.......806/794-1842|
  63.  [ x x ] |NIHILISM.............517/546-0585|Paisley Pasture.......916/673-8412|
  64.   \   /  |Polka AE {PW:KILL}...806/794-4362|Ripco.................312/528-5020|
  65.   (' ')  |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Works.............617/861-8976|
  66.    (U)   |====================================================================|
  67.   .ooM   |Copr. 1991 cDc communications by Franken Gibe
  68.      08/31/91-#189|
  69. \_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.                            FIVE YEARS of cDc|
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  74. Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253
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