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- % Template File for Tag-O-Matic's Tag-Gen Feature
- % Creates random taglines from a set of fields.
- %
- % Following is the maximum number of entries per random selection
- %
- Num_Per_Field 11
- %
- % Format is:
- % Each constant string should be have '*' as its first character, and be
- % contained on its own line.
- % The random selections that follow that (of which there should be exactly
- % the same number of lines as listed above), each on its own line.
- %
- % This is an example of a Country & Western song template.
- %
- *I met her
- on the highway
- in Sheboygan
- outside Fresno
- at a truck stop
- on probation
- in a jail cell
- in a nightmare
- incognito
- in the Stone Age
- in a treehouse
- in a gay bar
- *
- in September
- at McDonald's
- ridin' shotgun
- wrestlin' gators
- all hunched over
- poppin' uppers
- sort of pregnant
- with joggers
- stoned on oatmeal
- with Merv Griffin
- dead all over
- *. I can still recall
- that purple dress
- that little hat
- that burlap bra
- those training pants
- the stolen goods
- that plastic nose
- the Stassin pin
- the neon sign
- that creepy smile
- the hearing aid
- the boxer shorts
- * she wore. She was
- sobbin' at the toll booth
- drinkin' Dr. Pepper
- weighted down with Twinkies
- breakin' out with acne
- crawlin' through the prairie
- smellin' kind of funny
- crashin' through the guardrail
- chewin' on a hangnail
- talkin' in Swahili
- drownin' in the quicksand
- slurpin' up linguini
- *
- in the twilight
- but I loved her
- by the off-ramp
- near Poughkeepsie
- with her cobra
- when she shot me
- on her elbows
- with Led-Zeppelin
- with Miss Piggy
- with a wetback
- in her muu-muu
- * and I knew
- no guy would ever love her more
- that she would be an easy score
- she'd bought her dentures in a store
- that she would be a crashing bore
- I'd never rate her more than "4"
- they'd hate her guts in Baltimore
- it was a raven, nothing more
- we really lost the last World War
- I'd have to scrape her off the floor
- what strong deodorants were for
- that she was rotten to the core
- *;
- I promised her
- I knew deep down
- She asked me if
- I told her shrink
- The judge declared
- My Pooh Bear said
- I shrieked in pain
- The painters knew
- A Klingon said
- My hamster thought
- The blood test showed
- * I'd
- stay with her
- warp her mind
- swear off booze
- change my sex
- punch her out
- live off her
- have my rash
- stay a dwarf
- hate her dog
- pick my nose
- play "Go Fish"
- * forever; She said to me
- our love would never die
- there was no other guy
- man wasn't meant to fly
- that Nixon didn't lie
- her basset hound was shy
- that Rolaids made her high
- she'd have a swiss on rye
- she loved my one blue eye
- her brother's name was Hy
- she liked "Spy vs. Spy"
- that birthdays made her cry
- *; But who'd have thought she'd
- run off
- wind up
- boogie
- yodel
- sky dive
- turn green
- freak out
- blast off
- make it
- black out
- bobsled
- *
- with my best friend
- in my Edsel
- on a surfboard
- on "The Gong Show"
- with her dentist
- on her "WorkMate"
- with a robot
- with no clothes on
- at her health club
- in a Maytag
- with her guru
- *;
- You'd think at least that she'd have said
- I never had the chance to say
- She told her fat friend Grace to say
- I now can kiss my credit cards
- I guess I was too smashed to say
- I watched her melt away and sobbed
- She fell beneath the wheels and cried
- She sent a hired thug to say
- She freaked out on the lawn and screamed
- I pushed her off the bridge and waved
- But that's the way that pygmies say
- She sealed me in the vault and smirked.
- * goodbye.
- ~END~
-