Chip 1998 November

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245. 01/06/97 "THE STEPFORD PEG" (1101) Valerie Ahern & Christian McLaughlin / Amanda Bearse * Peggy on the couch surrounded by fast-food; Al enters and sits down next to her. After Peggy gets amnesia, Al reprograms her. The result is a woman who cooks, cleans and even accepts a ring girl when Al invites the guys over to watch wrestling. [Note: between the directed by/written by freeze frame and the rolling end credits, there is an epilogue featu- ring Kelly and her alter-ego from next door.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Bob Rooney .................. E.E. Bell Ike ......................... Tom McLeister Sally ....................... Ron-Ann Frey TV Announcer ................ Larry McKay 237. 10/05/96 "CHILDREN OF THE CORNS" (1102) Matthew Berry & Eric Abrams / Amanda Bearse * Peggy stands up from the couch and goes to the kitchen. Al comes down the stairs. Instead of competing against each other for a raise, Al and Griff co-operate to blackmail their boss, Gary, when they learn she's using illegal workers to make shoes. [Note: in the epilogue, Bud is still working and Peg is wearing shoes he made. Music: "Thus Spoke Zarathus- tra" Op. 30 by Richard Strauss.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Gary ........................ Janet Carroll Miranda ..................... Teresa Parente Woman Customer .............. Lee Arnone-Briggs Christy ..................... Louisa Abernathy Delivery Guy ................ Christopher Elwood Bob Thompson ................ Patrick T. O'Brien Immigrant Child #1 .......... Erick Vasques Immigrant Child #2 .......... Cherisse Ligot Thug ........................ Richard Ornelas 236. 09/28/96 "TWISTED" (1103) Richard Gurman Peggy on the couch, spraying an aerosol, and clapping her hands to turn off the lights. Bud tries to scare his date into his arms by creating the illusion of a tornado. But a real storm sends everyone rushing to his basement bedroom. [Note: in the epilogue, Kelly is Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, talking to a scarecrow.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Ariel ....................... Jennifer Lyons Sandy ....................... Donna Pieroni Gorgeous Woman .............. Christine Moore Scarecrow ................... Steven Shenbaum 247. 01/20/97 "GRIME AND PUNISHMENT" (1104) Steve Faber & Bob Fisher / Sam W. Orender Peggy on the couch, Al enters and starts to talk about his credit card. After Al starts charging Bud rent, a building inspector labels him a slumlord and confines him to Bud's basement room until he makes the required repairs. Health Inspector ............ Marianne Muellereile 244. 12/29/96 "CRIMES AGAINST OBESITY" (1105) Russell Marcus / Amanda Bearse * The kids are sitting at the kitchen table, Peg sits down with a cup of coffee. On Al's birthday, all the fat women he has insulted put him on trial. Meanwhile, Bud & Kelly try to tint the windows on his Dodge as a birthday gift. [Note: in the epilogue, Kelly and Bud show the Dodge to Al.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Shirley ..................... Diana Bellamy Patty ....................... Cassi Davis Matilda ..................... Danica Sheridan Gwen ........................ Jennifer Echols Leona ....................... Helen Siff Barbara ..................... Kelly Goodman Penelope .................... Nicola Nagorsky 238. 10/12/96 "KELLY'S GOTTA HABIT" (1106) Laurie Lee-Goss & Garry Bowren / Amanda Bearse * Al and Jefferson are watching "Cops". We hear the theme "Bad Boys". A nun checks up on Kelly when her latest commercial gig requires her to sign a morals clause; Al rides along, in uniform, when the TV show "Cops" follows Officer Dan. [Note: in the original airing, there was a seamless switch from the preceding show "Cops" to Al and Jefferson watching the end credits of "Cops"; in the epilogue, Bud is discuss- ing with Tina Yothers. Music: "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle (Cops theme song); in the teaser sequence, Al and Jefferson watch a show with "Love and Marriage" as its signature tune -- Jefferson: "Can you believe that show is still on the air!"] Officer Dan ................. Dan Tullis, Jr. Sister Benedicta ............ Nancy Linari Mike ........................ David Pressman Cab Driver .................. Peter Kerr Real Cop .................... Te Mark Flack Burglar ..................... Bryan Rasmussen Old Lady .................... Gerry Lock Sketch Artist ............... Lewis Dauber Cab Driver #2 ............... Bert L. Cook Herself ..................... Tina Yothers 239. 11/10/96 "REQUIEM FOR A CHEVYWEIGHT (PART 1)" (1107) Steve Faber & Bob Fisher Bud tries to get cereals out of a box, but it's empty. With his beloved Dodge sputtering, Al recalls happier times in the car, while the rest of the Bundys feign a world-wide search for the necessary fuel pump. Dr. Fisher .................. Rick Overton Al's Dad .................... Cliff Bemis Young Kelly ................. Hannah Swanson 242. 12/01/96 "THE JUGGS HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING" (1108) Vince Cheung & Ben Montanio Al sitting on the couch, a barrel of beer beside him. On vacation in Branson, Missouri, Peggy and Kelly get to open for Tammy Wynette (who has a cameo) after winning a talent contest as a singing duo. But Peg wants them billed as a sister act. Herself ..................... Tammy Wynette Cletus ...................... Brent Hinkley Daughter .................... Nicole Nagorsky Emcee ....................... Ritchie Montgomery Buford ...................... Doug Reid Elmo ........................ Dan Reid 240. 11/17/96 "REQUIEM FOR A CHEVYWEIGHT (PART 2)" (1109) Russell Marcus / Amanda Bearse * Conclusion. With the Dodge dead and buried, Al leases a new sports car that turns out to be another lemon, while Peg digs up the corpse to sell the engine. [Note: in the epilogue, Al drives through a show room window.] Dr. Fisher .................. Rick Overton Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Ike ......................... Tom McCleister Fidel Castro ................ Michael Sorich Cal Stevens ................. Gary Gribbs 246. 01/13/97 "BUD ON THE SIDE" (1110) Valerie Ahern & Christian McLaughlin / Sam W. Orender Al enters and says that he's got a problem. Al advises a love-starved Bud to lower his standards, never dreaming it could lead him to a fling with Al's boss, Gary. Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Gary ........................ Janet Caroll Edna ........................ Mink Stole Contractor .................. Chris Bonno Delivery Guy #1 ............. David Alan Graf Delivery Guy #2 ............. John Talamantez 241. 11/24/96 "A BUNDY THANKSGIVING" (1111) Vince Cheung & Ben Montanio / Amanda Bearse * Peggy on the couch, reading a newspaper. Al is standing behind the couch talking to her. Al's pursuit of aunt Maddie's traditional Thanksgiving pie takes him to her funeral, while Bud and the D'Arcys try to procure Kelly's new pet turkey. [Note: in the epilogue, sportscasters James Brown, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and Ronnie Lott are watching Al's run out of the church in the Fox sports studio.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Himself ..................... James Brown Himself ..................... Terry Bradshaw Himself ..................... Howie Long Himself ..................... Ronnie Lott Reverend Hightower .......... Beau Billingslea Aunt Maddie ................. Ann Weldon Mourner #1 .................. Lakeitcha Hurd Mourner #2 .................. Virginia Capers Eunetta ..................... Patricia Belcher Old Man ..................... Nick La Tour Woman ....................... Caroline Jones Boy ......................... Miles Marsico Mourner #3 .................. Vivian Bonnell 252. 03/10/97 "LIVE NUDE PEG" (1112) Matthew Berry & Eric Abrams / Amanda Bearse * The NO MA'AM members on the cat-walk of the nudie bar. Al and his "NO MA'AM" boys enjoy an amateur night at the nudie bar, where Al becomes infatuated with a disguised Peggy. [Note: in the epilogue, Al puts on a veil to cuddle with Peg in bed.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Officer Dan ................. Dan Tullis, Jr. Bob Rooney .................. E.E. Bell Ike ......................... Tom McCleister Iqbal ....................... Iqbal Theba Chesty ...................... Gloria LeRoy Shaney ...................... Carmen Morrell Stripper #1 ................. Vanessa A. Dorian 243. 12/22/96 "GOD HELP YE, MERRY BUNDYMEN" (1113) Steve Faber & Bob Fisher / Amanda Bearse * Many people are standing in front of the shoe store, we hear "Deck the Halls". Al and Griff lose their jobs to their holiday assistants; Bud and Kelly steal Mary and Joseph from the D'Arcys' nativity scene. [Music: "The Ride of the Valkyries" from the opera The Valkyries by Richard Wagner; the epilogue features Al bringing home a Christ- mas tree for the family; Gay story editor Christian McLaughlin makes a cameo appearance as a camp reindeer dancer.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Gary ........................ Janet Carroll Hal ......................... Jonathan Mangum Biff ........................ Kevin Lamont Smith Judge #2 .................... Mary Stein Mall Manager ................ Amy Lyndon Kid #1 ...................... Steven Anthony Lawrence Judge #1 .................... Lynette Bennett Reindeer Dancer ............. Christian McLaughlin * 248. 01/27/97 "T*R*A*S*H" (1114) Teleplay: Terry Maloney & Mindy Morgenstern, Story: Todd Newman & David Faustino * / Amanda Bearse * The Bundys are sitting on the couch watching a news report of a trash collector's strike action. Seeking regular meals, Al and Griff join military reserves and are subsequently ordered to help with a garbage strike, with Jefferson as their leader. [Note: the rejected title of this episode was "An Officer and A Garbage Man"; in the epilogue, Al takes cover hearing a garbage truck.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Drill Instructor ............ J.J. Johnston Santo ....................... Gonzo Raymond Du Wayne .................... Jerry Giles 253. 03/17/97 "A BABE IN TOYLAND" (1115) Valerie Ahern & Christian McLaughlin Peggy and Al on the couch. Peggy wants to have a TV set in their bedroom. TV stardom goes to Kelly's head when she becomes a hit while subbing for a kiddie-show host after his breakdown. Meanwhile, Peg and Al get twin beds. [Note: in the epilogue, Kelly, Peggy and Al are lying in the parents' bed watching Uncle Dudley's show.] Uncle Dudley ................ Brandon Maggart Jordan ...................... Claire Baron Court Jester ................ Richard Israel Bobby Beaver ................ Richard Taylor Olson 249. 02/24/97 "BREAKING UP IS EASY TO DO (PART 1)" (1116) Eric Abrams & Matthew Berry / Mark Samuels Peggy puts something into a bowl, Al comes down the stairs. Peggy and Al together visit a marriage counselor - but wind up leaving separately. Meanwhile, Kelly fights in the ring for a part in a boxing movie. [Note: part 1 and 2 were originally shown as a one-hour episode. Peggy's birthday is given as April 12. The taping of this episode was delayed after an earlier, more serious draft of the script was deemed unsuitable. "Breaking Up is Easy to Do" was initially planned as a two-part story.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Heather ..................... Lisa Robin Kelly Dr. H. Longo ................ Jake Johannsen Nancy ....................... Kellie Beals Referee ..................... Gerry del Sol 250. 02/24/97 "BREAKING UP IS EASY TO DO (PART 2)" (1117) Russell Marcus Sequel. Al lives in a room by the airport. He spies on Peggy in a single bar, where she finds a new beau. Bruce ....................... Alan Thicke Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Sandy ....................... Lisa Melilli Woman #1 .................... Rosa Blasi Woman #2 .................... Mandy Levin Woman #3 .................... Irene Roseen Guy in Bar .................. Christopher Shobe 251. 03/03/97 "BREAKING UP IS EASY TO DO (PART 3)" (1118) Russell Marcus Conclusion. Peggy's new friend loses Bud and Kelly's support when they learn their potential "step-daddy" may force them to find work. Bruce ....................... Alan Thicke Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Clerk ....................... Michael Irpino 254. 03/31/97 "BIRTHDAY BOY TOY" (1119) Terry Maloney & Mindy Morgenstern Peg on the couch, Kelly comes down the stairs with her broken piggy bank. Jefferson becomes a star attraction at a health club after Marcy gives him a membership; Bud directs Kelly and Al in a commercial for the shoe store. [Note: the epilogue features Al and Griff realising their plan to use shoe boxes to house homeless dwarfs.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Gloria ...................... Stefani Spruill Instructor .................. Kevin Spirtas Woman #1 .................... Susan Isaacs Betty ....................... Sonya Eddy Woman #2 .................... Michelle Mitchell Young Woman ................. Corinne Reilly 255. 04/28/97 "DAMN BUNDYS" (1120) Ben Montanio & Vince Cheung / Richard Correll Al and Jefferson on the couch, Jefferson with a chips canister. Al finds that hell's a breeze after selling his soul to play for the Chicago Bears, so the devil has to make an adjustment. [Note: the rejected title of this episode was "To Hell and Back". This episode was originally part of "Mask" week on Fox, celebrating the television debut of the Jim Carrey film. "Married... with Children" was one of several Fox shows to be injected with "Mask"-style video effects. Due to the number of special effects shots employed, this episode was not recorded before a live audience. This episode was initially planned to be a two-part story.] Himself ..................... James Brown Lucifer ..................... Robert Englund Clerk ....................... John Welsh Napoleon .................... John Cirigliano Hunky Guy ................... Alex Ardenti Himself ..................... Erik Kramer Himself ..................... Curtis Conway Himself ..................... Raymont Harris 259. 06/09/97 "CHICAGO SHOE EXCHANGE" (1121) Matthew Berry & Eric Abrams / Mark K. Samuels Al is sitting in front of a customer who is holding a black shoe. Al and Griff simply must have the nifty massage chair from the upscale gadget store. Since they are broke, they decide to barter their way to more relaxed muscles. Meanwhile, Kelly practices her newly learned massage techniques on Bud. [Note: this episode almost became another "Lost Show", but it aired 5 weeks after the official "last episode"; in the epilogue, there is a chimpanzee dressed like Al in the shoe store.] Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Gary ........................ Janet Carroll Clements .................... Larry Bagby III Chris ....................... James Nardini Grad ........................ Matthew Sutherland Larry ....................... Michael C. Mahon Corn Dog Lady ............... Abbey Nayor Cathy ....................... Lisa-Gay Tremblay Rachel ...................... Cheryl Rhoads Gloria ...................... Gita Isak 256. 04/28/97 "LEZ BE FRIENDS" (1122) Pamela Eells Peggy is playing cards on the couch, Kelly comes down the stairs. Marcy expresses jealousy over the popularity of her cousin Mandy, who shares Al's taste for beer, sports - and women. [Note: Amanda Bearse, who plays Marcy and Mandy, is gay in real life; Elaine Hendrix was David Faustino's real girl friend at that time; because of the technical complexities presented by Amanda Bearse's dual role, this episode was not taped in front of a studio audience. ] Elaine ...................... Elaine Hendrix 257. 05/05/97 "THE DESPERATE HALF-HOUR" (1123) [03/21/97] Valerie Ahern & Christian McLaughlin Peggy on the couch, Kelly comes down the stairs in a grey top and with a black bag. The Bundys and the D'Arcys are held hostage by Bud's prison pen pal and her dimwit boyfriend Lonnie who has a meeting of the minds with Kelly. Starla ...................... Tricia Cast Lonnie ...................... Charles Esten Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Cop ......................... Bill Torees 258. 05/05/97 "HOW TO MARRY A MORON" (1124) [03/28/97] Teleplay: Russell Marcus & Pamela Eells, Story: Vince Cheung & Ben Montanio Conclusion. Kelly wants to marry Lonnie. Al is happy when he hears that Lonnie is the son of a millionaire, but then he meets him at the nudie bar. [Note: this episode originally aired together with "The Desperate Half-Hour" as a one-hour show and was announced to be the last episode ever; there is a short "tribute" message after the freeze frame: black screen, in elegant white script flashes: "THANK YOU, MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN" "FOR ELEVEN GREAT SEASONS" "AND A MILLION LAUGHS."; then the Fox logo in white, then fade out; because of scheduling problems, the taping was not open to the public, but was taped before a small audience consisting of friends and relatives of the cast and crew; the episode was taped before Fox's decision to cancel the show, so the producers didn't consider this to be the last episode] Lonnie ...................... Charles Esten Griff ....................... Harold Sylvester Mrs. Tot .................... Edie McClure Mr. Tot ..................... Gordon Jump Reverend .................... Rance Howard Susie ....................... Lauren Hays Tatum Tot ................... T.L. Brooke Jennifer .................... Mason Dragotto Stripper #1 ................. Rena Riffel