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- This is a list of the data files included with this distribution, and
- what they contain.
-
- In an ideal world, someone would maintain the fortune databases, having
- an email address and a web page where new fortunes could be submitted.
- I'd do it myself, except that I'm going to lose this account, and the
- account doesn't permit CGI scripts. If you want to set up such a
- service, have CGI access, but don't have the skills to set up an HTML
- form for submissions, drop me a line and maybe I can work something up
- for you.
-
- Offensive fortunes are installed by default. To *not* install them,
- change the "OFFENSIVE" variable in the makefile from 1 to 0 (or delete
- the directory of offensive fortunes, if you wish.
-
- At the end of this file is another listing of the filenames, without
- descriptions, in order of size as size is understood by the fortune
- program--that is, number of text strings (as reported by strfile on
- October 19, 1995, just before tarring this mess for upload--sizes may be
- slightly off, since I'll try to check for duplicates at least once more).
-
- ./datfiles/ : the directory for inoffensive fortunes
-
- art : Broadly construed; it includes television and celebrities.
- ascii-art : each one worth a thousand words, I guess.
- computers : various fortunes that are computer-related. This includes
- the 'joke' fortunes that are supposed to emulate system
- error messages, as well as some neat stuff.
- cookie : Cookie file from Karl Lehenbauer's postings to alt.sources
- definitions : It ought to be all the 'definitions,' but what it really
- is, is all the definitions that have a first line ending
- with a colon.
- drugs : Alcohol and cigarettes, mostly. Legal chemicals.
- education : Schools, teachers, and scholarship, mostly not complimentary.
- ethnic : Jokes that are about groups of people, but aren't making
- fun of them. Laughing with instead of at.
- food : Recipes, diets, and more about food.
- fortunes : Yes, the old file name, but this contains predictions,
- evaluations of character, and the kind of stuff that you
- actually expect to get when you want to know your fortune.
- goedel : Meta-fortunes. Incomplete, of course. :-)
- humorists : Stand-up comedians, and people like Dave Barry. Especially
- stuff that doesn't fit into another category (almost anything
- that Steven Wright says doesn't fit a category).
- kids : Real advice and cynical observations on children, parenting,
- and family life.
- law : Stupid laws, stupider lawyers. *No* joke about a lawyer
- is *ever* offensive (except to lawyers, and who cares?).
- linuxcookie : From the collection at ftp.icce.rug.nl. Linux-related.
- It probably ought to go in with 'computers,' but it's
- archived separately, so I'm keeping it separate.
- literature : Mostly classic authors; a few newbies. And Bulwer-Lytton.
- It should contain more on writing and by writers, but a lot
- of that somehow got into art.
- love : What no one gets enough of, I guess.
- magic : Abracadabra.
- medicine : Doctors and cures. And other contradictory juxtapositions.
- Exercise.
- men-women : And the relations between them.
- miscellaneous : Whatever's left over.
- news : On journalism, and the unintentionally amusing bits of
- journalism.
- people : You know, humans. Personality, appearance, relationships,
- and all the other evilness of which humans are capable.
- It should probably be several smaller files (personality,
- appearance, relationships ...)
- pets : Mostly cats and dogs, with some goldfish. And penguins.
- And a rubber duck.
- platitudes : The meaning of life, and of other things, including all those
- stupid little sayings, and variants on them.
- politics : Comments on man as a political animal. Also police,
- soldiers, and other criminals.
- riddles : Not really riddles, necessarily, but mostly Q: A:
- science : Largely math and engineering, but some other interesting
- and amusing sorts of science-related apothegms. Also
- technology.
- songs-poems : Stuff with meter, at least, and usually with rhymes.
- sports : You know. Like on television. ;-)
- startrek : Apparently quotes from Star Trek Classic. Plus a bit.
- translate-me : A small file containing non-English quotes without
- translations.
- wisdom : Zen, the True Meaning of Life, and other stupid lies.
- work : Really about the business world, and the pains of being a
- part of it. The desperate problems of the wealthy. Like
- that.
- zippy : Quotes from the comic Zippy the Pinhead.
-
-
- ./datfiles/off/ : the directory for offensive fortunes, already rot13'd.
- they aren't distributed. All the offensive fortunes,
- unrotated, are found in the subdirectory:
- ./datfiles/off/unrotated/ : unrotated, offensive fortunes*
-
- astrology : Like in the daily newspapers, except nastier. More would
- be nice. A few comments *about* astrology.
- black-humor : Death, violence-as-humor, and the like. Really sick stuff.
- definitions : Like the inoffensive; first line ends with a colon and
- it looks sorta like a definition.
- drugs : Various references to illegal herbs and chemicals.
- ethnic : Nasty slams at particular ethnic groups. 'Ethnic' actually
- includes regionalist jokes in America.
- hphobia : Slams at gays and lesbians.
- limerick : There once was a file named limerick, / the contents of
- which were pretty slick. / Each fortune five lines, /
- with execrable rhymes, / And contents t'offend the fanatick.
- misandry : Anti-man stuff. Smaller than 'misogyny.' Wotta surprise.
- miscellaneous : It has everything that doesn't fit in other categories.
- misogyny : Jokes that women encounter as real attitudes daily. Real
- attitudes that women have to pretend are jokes daily.
- politics : The great wonder about the offensive political file is
- that it mostly contains direct quotes by politicians
- who *weren't* trying to be funny.
- privates : No, not promoted recruits. The naughty bits, that people
- aren't supposed to talk about. Body parts and functions.
- (Note that "size" has nothing to do with sex, so size
- jokes are all in here).
- racism : Racism. I suppose it's funny to *someone*. I hope I
- never meet him.
- religion : Stuff that might offend religious people, mostly Christians.
- riddles : Not really riddles, but usually the question format,
- some Q&A and some just leading/rhetorical questions.
- sex : Uhh. Well, you see, son, there are, umm, birds, and bees...
- This ranges from outrageously frank to moderately suggestive.
- songs-poems : Filthy, bawdy, naughty songs and poems! Licentious, I tell
- tell you! The programmer must be spanked! First the
- spanking ....
- vulgarity : Jokes in which the 'humor' is bad language, plus some
- genuinely funny things that happen to contain bad language.
-
- ./datfiles/html/ : the directory for fortune files with HTML tags.
- Currently empty, but I'll get a round tuit.
-
- The intention throughout has been to create something a bit more
- manageable and maintainable, without notable success in most cases. A
- more rational division of the fortunes would be preferred, but you do
- what comes naturally.
-
- If you prefer to have all the fortunes in one humongous file, that's fine:
- cat 'em all together and run strfile. That's easy; breaking them apart
- again isn't. Keep in mind that the "-o" infix format is not supported in
- this version of fortune, so keep the offensive files in a separate
- directory.
-
- *If any of these files are not to your taste, do the easy thing: rm
- filename.dat. That leaves the fortunes there, but without the pointer
- file, inaccessible. Or rm filename, which gets rid of the text strings.
-
- There are over 15,000 'fortunes' here, in the various files. Here's the
- breakdown, by file and directory.
-
- Total 16422
- --------------------
-
- Inoffensive 12209
- -----------
- people 1231
- definitions 1105
- computers 1021
- songs-poems 719
- politics 692
- miscellaneous 643
- work 630
- science 622
- men-women 582
- zippy 548
- platitudes 497
- art 460
- fortunes 433
- wisdom 402
- literature 256
- startrek 225
- drugs 208
- education 203
- law 202
- food 198
- humorists 196
- ethnic 163
- love 151
- kids 150
- sports 147
- riddles 135
- linuxcookie 102
- medicine 72
- goedel 54
- news 53
- pets 51
- magic 29
- translate-me 19
- ascii-art 10
-
- Offensive 4213
- ---------
- limerick 1001
- sex 805
- politics 349
- definitions 332
- black-humor 270
- riddles 267
- religion 226
- songs-poems 206
- vulgarity 194
- privates 132
- ethnic 126
- drugs 73
- miscellaneous 64
- misogyny 60
- astrology 42
- hphobia 40
- misandry 23
- racism 3
-