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- Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
- Path: sparky!uunet!think.com!sdd.hp.com!decwrl!csus.edu!netcom.com!shannah
- From: shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller)
- Subject: Re: Reunions and such
- Message-ID: <1992Nov11.012900.9060@netcom.com>
- Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
- References: <1992Nov11.003556.3082@netcom.com>
- Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 01:29:00 GMT
- Lines: 72
-
- In article <1992Nov11.003556.3082@netcom.com> marcia@netcom.com (Marcia) writes:
- >Until lately, that is. My 10th high school reunion is coming up, and I am
- >starting to dread it. Not because I am large, and not because I am not
- >proud of what I've accomplished. I'm rather dreading people's reaction to
- >the fact that I haven't somehow shrunk to a size 3.
- >
- >During high school, a number of other folks made a point of making my life
- >hell because of my size. I have been hoping that perhaps by now they would
- >have matured to the point that they would mind their own business, but
- >knowing human nature, I am steeling myself for at least a few snide comments.
- >
- >So I guess what I am looking for is support. Have other people been in this
- >kind of situation and how did it turn out? Anything else I should be mentally
- >prepared for?
- >
- Well, the first question I have to ask is: does it really matter what
- they think?
-
- Now that I've gotten the rhetorical out of the way, here is some stuff
- that might actually help.
-
- I gained most of my weight over a 1-year period, beginning when I was
- in the process of leaving HP and continuing through my employment at
- NAS. This was about 6 years ago. There were a lot of people that I'd
- known at HP that I saw *again* after I'd 1) gained weight, 2) gotten
- contact lenses, and 3) cut my hair.
-
- I was fully expecting, when I saw these people again, to hear about
- my weight. I used to feel shy about coming back to HP for visits,
- because I didn't want people saying things like "What happened to you?"
- and "You know, you really should shed a few pounds."
-
- Nobody had anything at all to say about my weight.
-
- They wanted to know where I was working, what I was doing, who I was
- seeing, whether I was happy. They wanted to tell me all about their
- latest jobs, their kids, their cars, their friends, their latest
- vacation. But, with the exception of some who were curious about my
- contact lenses, there was nothing said about appearance. It just
- didn't come up.
-
- Those who would comment do nothing but show themselves for the
- hopeless boors they are. It would be akin to your saying to them
- "Gosh, you're awfully thin. Have you been ill?" or "Nice figure.
- How much did the plastic surgery cost, anyway?" You would never say
- something like that, right? So why worry about them?
-
- You can always pull the Miss Manners ploy and smile and say something
- like "How charming."
-
- My bet is that nothing will be said. If something *is* said, which
- I doubt, I bet someone else will come up and say "Letitia was always
- such a creep, wasn't she?" and giggle with you over how little Letitia
- has changed.
-
- The reason I suspect that nobody will say anything is that by now,
- those who were harrassing you in school have grown up, and probably
- now regret having been such creeps, and would probably like nothing
- better than to let bygones be bygones. I've run into some of my old
- "school bullies" in my travels, and believe me, they were more worried
- about me holding a grudge after all those years than anything else.
- They were *really* ready to bury the hatchet and make nice.
-
- I suspect that's what you'll find when you get to your reunion - a
- bunch of people who are really interested in how well things are going
- for you, eager to tell you how well things are going for them, and
- who don't give a damn how much you weigh.
-
- --
- *--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*
- Teri Miller tmiller@cisco.com -or- shannah@netcom.com
- *--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*
-