Organization: Northern Telecom Inc, Mountain View, CA
References: <Bx3Fov.Ezn@tct.com>
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 18:28:05 GMT
Lines: 50
In article <Bx3Fov.Ezn@tct.com>, lenore@tct.com (Lenore Cook) writes:
|>
|> I have never shared our problems with my parents. I
|> share the positive stuff, but chose to keep the
|> negative stuff to myself. This is a new pattern for
|> me. I used to tell them everything and it seems
|> that they would eventually use it against me.
|> Anyway, I did finally call them and tell them we
|> were separating. That was last weekend. This weekend
|> I had a conversation with my mother and she is
|> VERY angry with me - for just dumping this on her
|> and not ever letting her know there was a problem.
|>
|> I have a hard time making decisions and sticking by
|> them, because I have always let other people influence
|> me...how will they feel, how will they react etc...
|> I felt good about my decision to keep my problems
|> to myself, but now I don't feel so good. I feel like
|> a little kid again who can't ever do the right
|> thing. I'd like some feedback from you out there
|> Do we ever grow up? (I'm 32 by the way, so it's
|> not like I'm a child).
|>
I just recently separated from my husband. After 10 years
of marriage I want out for a multitude of reasons which I won't
elaborate on now. I've wanted out for about the last 4 years but
told no one about this. Finally, about 4 months ago, I came to a
breaking point and I left shocking a lot of friends and relatives.
All this time I was able to put up a front. All this time I was
pretending that our relationship was ok. My folks were shocked...
they never expected this from their, up until now relatively successful daughter. They were shocked, but not angry. In fact they have been very
supportive. I think your mom will get over her anger and will
support you too because she cares and she loves you. She just
wants you to be happy.
I also tend to keep the bad stuff away from my folks mainly because
they're compulsive worriers. But, this whole experience has opened
up the communication between me and my folks, that's one blessing. In fact...they just recently said that I'm more like I was before I got married...more open. (I also tend to be easily influenced by others. My husband's overbearing personality suffocated my own personality.
Now that he's not around, I'm more like "my old self" again.)
