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- Newsgroups: alt.support
- Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!decwrl!concert!uvaarpa!murdoch!holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU!cjh
- From: cjh@holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU (Carol J. Hughes)
- Subject: Re: Angry Parents
- Message-ID: <1992Nov5.133938.15591@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>
- Sender: usenet@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU
- Organization: University of Virginia
- References: <Bx3Fov.Ezn@tct.com> <1992Nov4.210829.8429@iscsvax.uni.edu>
- Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 13:39:38 GMT
- Lines: 47
-
- In article <1992Nov4.210829.8429@iscsvax.uni.edu> mccall3080@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
- >In article <Bx3Fov.Ezn@tct.com>, lenore@tct.com (Lenore Cook) writes:
- >> I have posted here a few times and have received lots
- >> of help, so here goes again.
- >>
- >> As I have said before, my husband and I are facing
- >> divorce. Because of the current situation, we have
- >> decided it is time for a separation. I will be
- >> moving out this month. Now the problem....
- >>
- >> I have never shared our problems with my parents. I
- >> share the positive stuff, but chose to keep the
- >> negative stuff to myself. This is a new pattern for
- >> me. I used to tell them everything and it seems
- >> that they would eventually use it against me.
- >> Anyway, I did finally call them and tell them we
- >> were separating. That was last weekend. This weekend
- >> I had a conversation with my mother and she is
- >> VERY angry with me - for just dumping this on her
- >> and not ever letting her know there was a problem.
- >>
- >> I have a hard time making decisions and sticking by
- >> them, because I have always let other people influence
- >> me...how will they feel, how will they react etc...
- >> I felt good about my decision to keep my problems
- >> to myself, but now I don't feel so good. I feel like
- >> a little kid again who can't ever do the right
- >> thing. I'd like some feedback from you out there
- >> Do we ever grow up? (I'm 32 by the way, so it's
- >> not like I'm a child).
- >>
- >> I anxiously await your replies.
- >
- >
- IMHO, what goes on between a husband and wife is no one else's
- business, especially the parents. I believe your mother is
- manipulating you with her anger. Don't let her change your
- feelings about yourself. What you did was right. You looked
- within for answers, and that is the best thing to do.
- If you do feel the need to talk to someone, a therapist or
- counselor would help you look at things objectively, but
- in the long run, the decision is yours and yours alone.
-
- Joan
-
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-