home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search
- Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
- Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!agate!pasteur!curtis
- From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
- Subject: Curtis's Quick Haiku Lessons (was Re: Deep Thoughts)
- Message-ID: <1992Sep8.174901.6295@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU>
- Sender: nntp@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU (NNTP Poster)
- Nntp-Posting-Host: asp.cs.berkeley.edu
- Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
- References: <1992Sep8.131928.29912@news.iastate.edu> <schnitzi.715962057@eola.cs.ucf.edu>
- Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 17:49:01 GMT
- Lines: 53
-
- In article <schnitzi.715962057@eola.cs.ucf.edu> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:
- >tzau4@isuvax.iastate.edu writes:
- >
- >>[the usual newbie silage]
- >
- >Isn't it amazing that a whole newgroup
- >can be torn apart
- >by such simple things
- >like incoming freshmen?
-
- Yes.
-
- But no, no, and NO.
-
- When you write blank verse without rhythm, Schnitz, you'd
- _damn well better_ make it a haiku:
-
- when the lion roars
- the crickets shall fall silent
- and not soon resume
-
- You see that haiku? That's a master haiku, boy. That's a
- haiku so potent, if you wrote it on a scrap of paper and
- swallowed it, your dick would get hard. And it says
- something. It's got a MESSAGE. Now a nyekulturny yahoo like
- yourself, a man with all the taste and discernment of a
- STARVING GOAT, might be expected to miss this - might think it
- was just one of yer Marlin Perkins granolahead treehugger
- ramblings on the wonders of NATURE. As if nature were anything
- worth writing haikus about.
-
- But no. It's saying something, and what it's saying is that if
- you can't make your point in a short & powerful seventeen
- syllables, kiddo, you'd better not make it at all. Because then
- you're just a cricket in the jungle of life. And when the LION
- ROARS, boy, you SHUT UP.
-
- Got that? Now don't feel down, Schnitz. Because you may not be
- roaring now, but you're a lion inside - I can feel it. All we
- need is some stick-on fur and a wig mane, and you'll be ready
- for the BIG TIME. Yeah, boy. Dig it.
-
- Here's your first lesson:
-
- a fly on his back.
- noon's calm lost, the buffalo
- swings his tail; in vain.
-
- Now compare that to your PITIFUL ORT, and learn. If your
- spectacles can focus on both at the same time.
-
- c
- "Once a month? Bah. Men have PMS, ALL THE FUCKING TIME."
-