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- Path: sparky!uunet!usc!sdd.hp.com!hplabs!ucbvax!ROS6.GSFC.NASA.GOV!alan
- From: alan@ROS6.GSFC.NASA.GOV (Alan Smale)
- Newsgroups: talk.rape
- Subject: Unnecessary hostility in talk.rape
- Message-ID: <9208251917.AA03130@ros6.gsfc.nasa.gov>
- Date: 25 Aug 92 19:17:42 GMT
- Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU
- Lines: 60
-
- What do all the following people have in common?
-
- Kathi. Ataylor. Sam. Kim Posey. Rolfe. More than one Susan. Synth.
- Tim, I think. Probably a few other people I've forgotten about.
-
- They have posted to talk.rape. And they have been attacked by DC,
- called deliberate liars, idiots, ignoramuses or worse, on the basis of
- their opinions (generally freely and openly admitted to be opinions,
- note, rather than facts). Many have been attacked savagely and
- demeaningly, in 500-line polemics about their morality, their
- relationships, their access to legal documents and their spelling.
- After a series of increasingly heated exchanges with DC, many don't
- come back. I doubt (this is my OPINION) that this is because they've
- come round to DC's rather narrow way of thinking and as a result,
- don't need to post any more. It wouldn't surprise me if the
- readership of talk.rape is getting rather small these days.
-
- DC; you're a lawyer and, put bluntly, you're paid to argue. You do it
- very well, if rather savagely. But you might consider whether this is
- the right place for you to practice your craft.
-
- I feel (that means that this is my OPINION) that rape prevention and
- the discussion of related sensitive issues would proceed better if
- people could participate in thoughtful discussion in a friendly,
- non-combative way. That has become all but impossible on this
- newsgroup; the level of hostility has become too high. Mostly (though
- not totally) this is because of you.
-
- DC; I would ask you to take a couple of days off. Take a look at
- yourself. All the people I listed at the top are entitled to their
- opinions and actions. Don't reply to people's posts immediately. Is
- everybody else REALLY dead wrong, while you're always dead right? Are
- you ALWAYS the only one marching in step?
-
- THINK about what you're doing when you reply to messages. Think about
- who will read your venom-laden missives and the effect it will have on
- them. It just doesn't help to hurt people. It doesn't persuade people
- to your point of view by battering them, it just makes them defensive.
- Maybe you can win cases by being forceful and intimidating, but you
- don't win arguments that way. It just doesn't work.
-
- You'll note that female posters are becoming increasingly marginalized
- in this newsgroup; why is that, do you suppose? Could it be because
- talk.rape, a group that exists primarily to help THEM, has become such
- an unpleasant place that they don't want to be here any more? Who does
- that help? Women? Men? You? None of the above?
-
- OK, you "do research", and pride yourself on getting your facts straight.
- This is commendable. You derive great glee from "correcting" people.
- This is unpleasant. You then indulge in sneering put-downs, sarcasm,
- and general nastiness. This is reprehensible.
-
- Based on the evidence before me, I'm not really expecting you to
- change. I would be surprised if you indulge in any self-examination at
- all, or attempt to put yourself in somebody elses shoes, more than
- once a year. But I'd sure be happy if I was wrong, and if you drew in
- your claws a bit. Just try to be constructive instead of destructive.
- We'd all gain. Including, and especially, you.
-
- - Alan.
-