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- Newsgroups: talk.rape
- Path: sparky!uunet!stanford.edu!leland.Stanford.EDU!farthing
- From: farthing@leland.Stanford.EDU (ljf)
- Subject: Re: walking her to her car
- Message-ID: <1992Aug13.203919.13662@leland.Stanford.EDU>
- Sender: news@leland.Stanford.EDU (Mr News)
- Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
- References: <1992Aug13.151607.5685@hubcap.clemson.edu>
- Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 20:39:19 GMT
- Lines: 37
-
- In article <1992Aug13.151607.5685@hubcap.clemson.edu> jlysagh@hubcap.clemson.edu (james joseph lysaght) writes:
- >There have been many times that a girl has asked me to walk her to her
- >car after a party or work or some such thing. I always repsond by
- >saying I would be glad to if they will in turn give me a ride back or to
- >my car or whatever is prudent in the particular situation. NONE of them
- >have EVER agreed to this. Interestingly, if I wait till I get them to their car
- >to ask for the ride, they ALWAYS agree, presumable out of a feeling that they
- >owe it to me. They want me to walk them to their car for
- >their safety, but they then feel their safety is inpinged if they let me
- >IN the car with them. This is actually a very good point from their
- >standpoint. It is just as likely that the guy they ask for help could
- >rape them as it is that a stranger might. However, if they are that
- >afraid of me, then I am equally afraid of them, and I do not help. I am
- >not personally afraid of being raped, though maybe I should be. I am
- >more concerned about being mugged, robbed, shot, stabbed, hit by a drunk
- >driver, as these are considerably more likely to happen to me. I am
- >willing to aid in the safety of another person if they are equally
- >willing to aid in my safety. If they demonstrate a disregard for my
- >safety, then they do not get my help.
-
- Why would a person choose someone to walk her/him to her/his car and
- then refuse to let that person into the car? "I'm too afraid to walk
- by myself, so I ask someone, but then I'm afraid of her/him and won't
- let her/him in my car."? How bizarre! If I requested help, it would
- be of someone I trust enough to walk me back to my car and let in my
- car.
-
- I certainly agree with you. If the person won't drive you back to the
- party, your dorm, etc., don't walk her/him to her/his car. I also
- think you should say that upfront and give the reasons you have the
- right to be driven back. One thing to say may be, "If you're too
- afraid of me to let me into your car, why are you trusting me to walk
- you to your car?"
-
- (BTW, my opinion of my friends and the people I socialize with has
- risen after reading posts like this.)
-
-