NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #18/NN_1992_18.iso/spool/talk/bizarre/25889

Internet Message Format | 1992-08-13 | 1.6 KB

Path: sparky!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!bcm!rice!owlnet.rice.edu!andsol
From: [e-mail] (Andrew J. Solberg)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The First Letter Of Each Line: Andrew J Solberg
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Date: 14 Aug 1992 04:28:15 GMT
Sender: [e-mail] (News)
Organization: Rice University
Lines: 24

Anna told me ten, twenty, maybe a thousand times, but I never listened.  I
now know what I didn't then: big sisters may lie, they may cheat, they may
do terrible, awful things to you -- but in a fix, they will plop the truth
right in your arms, regardless of how scandalous and nauseating it is.  If
every younger brother in the world could learn this little lesson, I think
we would all be a lot happier.  But I guess I'm moving away from my story.

Jesus was our maintenance man for ten years, and I never clued in.  Never.

Should I have known?  Oh, sure, the curly brown hair, the tenor voice, the
orchestra of tiny cherubim -- these were hints.  Okay, the halo was just a
little suspicious, now that I think about it.  But Jesus?  Honestly, let's
be real here a second: you can't go concluding that the messiah is present
every time some beatnik with a beard ambles by.  So I went through my life
reverently praying to a figure when I could have just gone down to see the
gonif.  Now he's a famous Mr. Big Noise, though, and He screens his calls.

--
Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!"
Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
[e-mail]  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
Phone:[phone]      |              Winston Churchill