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-
- [I wrote this for a friend, and is posted by permission. Sorry that
- it has to be posted anonymously, but better than not at all ...]
-
- The night air was pleasant, cool and slightly moist against your
- skin, but it brought you no peace. As you leaned out over the
- balcony, surveying the reflecting pools and gardens of the
- estate stretching out into the moonlight, you tried to relax,
- enjoy the panorama, and ignore the sound of the music, laughter,
- and dancing in the ballroom down the hall from the study whose
- window you had flung open. Flung open at the end of a mad
- flight from the ball, trying to escape that which you most
- desired and, yet, by which you were most terrified.
-
- The party had begun pleasantly enough. You had come unescorted,
- determined you have a good time regardless of who had or had not
- come with you. There were enough unattached men, or just
- outrageous flirts, to more than fill a casual night. Perhaps
- you would meet someone interesting, or particularly attractive,
- you had thought, but put the subject from your mind: no
- expectations except for diversion.
-
- Then, two hours or so after the first dancing had begun, she had
- entered the room. It was between dances, and the crowd was busy
- with angling through the floor, looking for someone to ask for
- the next dance, or making themselves obvious to the person they
- wished would ask them. When the dark figured had filled the
- doorway, many had turned to look. Most had given a quick,
- appreciative glance, and then returned to their partners. You
- had not; although you were across the room, you stopped and
- stared as if turned to stone.
-
- She was tall, at least six feet. She was dressed in black, in a
- perfect coachman's uniform. She wore tight pants fit into
- calf-high boots, shiny and well-polished. Her vest, cut to give
- her a tight V-figure, was closed with a double row of bright
- silver buttons. Those, and her white cravat, were the only
- thing which were not black, black to the point of absorbing the
- light around her. Her hands and fingers were long and delicate
- as she casually tapped the palm of one hand with a riding crop.
- Her features were strong, aristocratic, not feminine except in
- their beauty. Her close-cropped hair was nearly completely
- concealed by a coachman's top hat. But her eyes drew you most
- of all. Large, intense, as dark as her clothing, they held to
- the promise of lust, passion, power and even cruelty
-
- The band struck up a waltz on a slightly off note, shocking you
- back to reality. You dimly were aware of your partner taking
- your hand and leading you onto the dance floor, and the movement
- gradually brought you to earth. Occasionally as the dance
- progressed, you would glimpse her dancing with women (and always
- leading). But after every dance, she was someplace else, asking
- someone else to dance; you could never seem to get near to her.
- Finally, the impression of her first appearance faded, and the
- evening continued.
-
- Until, at the end of a particularly energetic polka, you dropped
- a ring you had been adjusting on your hand. Dipping to pick it
- up, you stood up straight only to find yourself staring into her
- eyes; through the movement of the crowd, she had ended up not
- two feet from where you had stooped. The moment lasted an
- eternity. You drank in the sight of her, the smell of her; her
- eyes had paralyzed you as if you were a deer caught in a car's
- headlights. Your mind was a blank; you wanted nothing except to
- look at her, give yourself to her. You could feel your knees
- grow weak. You wanted to throw yourself at her feet, beg her to
- do anything she wished to you, just acknowledge you, accept you
-
- And, again, she turned away, but this time with the most
- delicate and private of smiles; a smile that was kind and cruel,
- loving and harsh all at once. And you could bear it no longer; as swiftly as you could you hastened out of the room, down the
- long carpeted hall, across the cold wood floor of the study to
- the window, casting it open and deeply drinking the night air,
- feeling tears of joy? shame? rage? well up on your face.
-
- Just as you had regained your composure and was ready to return
- to the party, you heard the sharp click of a heel coming down on
- the floor at the doorway behind you. You turned, slowly,
- knowing that it couldn't be her, both hoping and fearing that it
- was. And, of course, it was: she was wearing her hat and
- carrying her riding crop, dressed as if ready to depart. She
- continued to walk up to you as you stood motionless, your mouth
- dry and heart pounding so loud you were afraid it might drowned
- out the band. She stopped her confident stride only three feet
- from you, and then (with an ironic smile) doffed her hat in a
- graceful bow.
-
-