ProfitPress Mega CDROM2 …eeware (MSDOS)(1992)(Eng)/ProfitPress-MegaCDROM2.B6I/TEXT/UTILITY/4TUNE.ZIP/TUNE

Text File | 1990-08-07 | 108.2 KB | 2,217 lines

this is an empty line
Congratulations!  You got the first fortune!
# @(#)/usr/games/lib/fortunes    1.7 10/21/86 16:08:28 - Amdahl/UTS
!085 lhadmA na edisni deppart m'I  !pleH
"reproduces if added to its quotation." reproduces if added to its quotation.
"AMDAC?" asked the disgruntled FE.
"Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it."
"Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"
"But I don't like Spam!!!!"
"But this is my sister's bike!"
"DROPPED FROM UTS" is just VM's way of saying "Booga, Booga!"
"DROPPED FROM UTS" is just VM's way of saying UTS is out to lunch!"
"Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!"
"Don't tell me what you dream'd last night for I've been reading Freud."
"Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to PUNT."
"He is considered the most graceful speaker who can say nothing in most words."
"How are things?"
"Just as they are."
"I am the housekeeper!"
"I don't know what you mean by YOUR way, all the ways about here belong to ME"
"Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
"If looks could kill it would've been us instead of him!"
"Kernal" is not a word.  The correct spelling is "kernel".
"MAC user's dynamic debugging list evaluator? Never heard of that."
"Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!"
"Mind your own business, Spock.  I'm sick of your halfbreed interference."
"Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!"
"Oh!  I thought that was a parrot!".   "No, no... They turn that color."
"That's user, u s r, and then there's a space ..."
"There goes Bill!"
"There's no such thing as gravity - the earth sucks."
"There's nothing you can do that can't be done."  John Lennon
"They took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!"
"To be, or not to be."--Hamlet   "Do-bee-do-bee-do."--Sinatra
"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!"
"Wayne Newton is," he says, "an example of what America can be."
"Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat!"
"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
"You mean I can send mail to myself?"
"You mean you can't take less, it's very easy to take more than nothing."
"He taught us drawing, stretching, and fainting in coils."
"Dad, have you seen Blip? I can't find him anywhere!"
$ egrep -n '^[a-z].*\\(' $@ | sort -t':' +2.0
$ fortune
$ rm -r $HOME
'Has eighteen letters' does.
'Home, Sweet Home' must surely have been written by a bachelor.
(This fortune deleted due to painfully extreme insipidity.)
* Unix is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories.
/usr/news/gotcha
1 bulls, 3 cows
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
186,000 miles per second -- it's not just a good idea, it's the law!
23. ...  r-q1
3000000 km/sec -- it's not just a good idea, it's the law!
90% of everything is crud.
: is not an identifier
A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is having fun
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancee free.
A beautiful woman will enrich your life soon.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
A big mac, french fries and a large coke!
A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
A bureaucrat is a politician with tenure.
A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A company is known by the men it keeps.
A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
A dead man cannot bite.
A fair exterior is a silent recommendation.
A fool and his honey are soon parted.
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
A gift of flour will soon be made to you.
A gift of flower will soon be made to you.
A girl's best friend is her mutter.
A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet.
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
A good reputation is more valuable than money.
A guy has to get fresh once in a while so the girl doesn't lose her confidence.
A half moon is better than no moon at all.
A hammer sometimes misses its mark - a bouquet never.
A handful of friends is worth more than a wagon of gold.
A harp is a nude piano.
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity
A horse!  A horse!  My kingdom for a horse!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
A king's castle is his home.
A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
A large dog will have a surprising effect on your life.
A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist and too rich to be a communist
A lie in time saves nine.
A light wife doth make a heavy husband.
A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
A man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man with 3 buttocks.
A man with one watch knows what time it is--with two watches he is never sure.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A man, a plan, a canal.  Suez!
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
A misguided platypus will lay its eggs in your shorts.
A moose once bit my sister.
A muth once bit my sister.
A noble choice, but first ...
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A plucked goose does not lay golden eggs.
A private sin is not so prejudicial in the world as a public indecency.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A project not worth doing at all is not worth doing well.
A relationship is like a shark.  It has to keep moving forward or it dies.
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
A shortcut is the longest path between two points.
A sick mind is not necessarily the sign of a clean desk.
A snake lurks in the grass.
A soft drink turneth away company.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.
A theory is better than its explanation.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A violent man will die a violent death.
A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.
A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
A well-known friend is a treasure.
A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
A word to the wise is enough.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
Above all things, reverence yourself.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Abstain from beans.
Abstenence makes the heart grow fonder.
Academy: A modern school where football is taught.
Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
Adding manpower to a late software project only makes it later.
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Adolescence is that period of time between puberty and adultery.
Advancement in position.
Advice is a dangerous gift; be cautious about giving and receiving it.
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
Ahah!
Ahead warp factor one, Mr. Sulu.
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Aleph sub alpha is the alpha'th aleph.
Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
All art is but imitation of nature.
All art is quite useless.
All diagnostics are fatal.
All great discoveries are made by accident.
All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
All hope abandon, ye who enter here.
All in all it's just another brick in the wall...
All is well that ends well.
All laws are basically false.
All machines are amplifiers.
All men know the utility of useful things, but not know the utility of futility
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
All trends towards Chaos.
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
Always cut the cards.
Always do right.  This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
Always tell a woman she's beautiful, especially if she isn't.
Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
Always try to exhort others to look upon you favorably.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
America! the land of the Chrysler 440 cubic inch engine!
America's best buy for a nickel is a telephone call to the right man.
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
An artist should be fit for the best society and kept out of it.
An atom blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.
An honest God is the noblest work of man.
An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Anchovies?  You've got the wrong man!  I spell my name DANGER!  (click)
And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
And here's another clue for you all:  The walrus was Paul.
And now for something completely different.
And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.
And they're off!
And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.
Antelope freeway--1/4 mile.
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
Any shrine is better than self-worship.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Any system that depends on reliability is unreliable.
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
Anyone can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Anyone want a burger? It has cheese on both sides!
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
Anything is possible, unless it's not.
Appearances often are deceiving.
Are we not men?
Are you a turtle?
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.
Auribus teneo lupum.  (I hold a wolf by the ears.)
Autocracy is based on the theorem that one man is smarter than many.
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Avoid GOTOs completely if you can keep the program readable.
Avoid colloquial stuff.
Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
Avoid temporary variables.
Avoid the Fortran arithmetic IF.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Avoid unnecessary branches.
BASIC is to computer programming as "qwerty" is to typing.
Baby...     -- The Late Elvis Presley.
Badness comes in waves.
Be alert, the world needs more lerts.
Be both a speaker of words and a doer of deeds.
Be braver.  You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.
Be careful what you wish, it might come true.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.
Be careful!  Is it classified?
Be careful, the last person using this keyboard had a terminal disease.
Be cautious in your daily affairs.
Be cheerful while you are alive.
Be happy with the real pleasures in life.
Be kind to your inferiors, if you can find any.
Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
Be security conscious - National defense is at stake.
Be seeing you.
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
Be sure to treat your assumptions as though they are reality.
Be valiant, but not too venturous.  Let thy attire be comely, but not costly.
Beam me up, Scotty!
Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
Beauty seldom recommends one to another.
Because the wine remembers.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been Transferred Lately?
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
Beggars should be no choosers.
Begin well, end badly; begin badly, end worse.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Behind your back, your colleagues are talking about Jeckyl and Hyde.
Being natural is simply a pose.
Better late than never.
Better living a beggar than buried an emperor.
Better to send ten ambulances when they are not needed than one when it is.
Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.
Between two evils, always pick the one you never tried before.
Beware of Bigfoot!
Beware of Geeks bearing grifts.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
Beware of geeks bearing graft.
Beware of low flying butterflies.
Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question.
Beware the legless man who teaches running.
Beware the new TTY code!
Beware the thirty-first of November.
Big book, big bore.
Bigamy is having one spouse too many.  Monogamy is the same.
Biggest security gap - an open mouth.
Biz is better.
Blackberries are red when they are green.
Blah.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inhibit the earth.
Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
Bluegrass is not just a weed.
Boycott Clockwork Peach.
Brain fried -- Core dumped
Buffalo is not just the name of an animal.
Build a system even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Details 20 minutes from now on Action Central News, kids.
Bureaucratic organization is like a septic tank: the big chunks rise to the top
Business will be either better or worse.  --Calvin Coolidge
Bus error -- Core dumped
But Captain--the engines can't take this much longer!
But I don't like Spam!
But you shall not escape my iambics.
Buy low, sell high.
Buy!  Amdahl Stock to go up 100 points next week.
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be far apart.
By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.
By the yard, life is hard.  By the inch, it's a cinch.
Bye Kids!
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
Californians are not without their faults.
Can anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce?
Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished?  Yes, work never begun.
Can you read a punched card, looking at the holes?
Can you whistle 300 baud?
Can you whistle a telephone number?
Can't open /usr/lib/fortunes.
Cannot fork -- try again.
Cannot open /usr/games/lib/fortunes.
Captain's Log, star date 21:34.5.
Carpe Diem.
Celebrate Hannibal Day today.  Take an elephant to lunch.
Celibacy is hereditary.
Center meeting at 4 pm in 2C-543.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Charity begins at home.
Charity:  a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
Charm is a way of getting a "yes" without having asked any clear question.
Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
Check again to make sure it's not loaded.
Chicken Little was right.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Chinese saying: "He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks."
Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.
Classified material requires proper storage.
Climate is what you expect.  Weather is what you get.
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
Cogli l'attimo                                                                                                         ogli l'attimo.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.
Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Con 'sta pioggia e con 'sto vento chi e' che büssa a 'sto convento?
Concentrate on security.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
Confucious say: "I have no time for monks resisting the carnival"
Confusion is always increasing in society.
Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!
Congratulations!  The pressure will stop soon.
Congratulations!  You are the one-millionth user to log into our system.
Congratulations!  You are the 16,777,216th user to login to our system.
Congratulations!  You have now used up another 250 hours of CPU time.
COKE IS IT!
Consider your reputation.  Try changing your name and moving to a new town.
Continental Life. Why do you ask?
Convention is the ruler of all.
Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.
Coastal access, next left.
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs.
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal if you don't use your thumbs
Courage is grace under pressure.
Courage is your greatest present need.
Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!!
Create the impression that you have already reached your level of incompetence.
Create your own opportunity.  Blackmail a senior executive.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.
Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?
Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
Cure the disease and kill the patient.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.
Cwm fjord-bank glyphs vext quiz.
DAMN IT, I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
Darth Vadar!  Only you would be so bold.
De-accession euphemisms.
Death has been proven to be 99 per cent fatal in laboratory rats.
Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
Death:    to stop sinning suddenly.
Decisions terminate panic.
Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Democracy is based on the theorem that many men are smarter than one.
Department meeting in 3 minutes.
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
Diagnostics can best be understood in the context of the source code.
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Direct action produces direct reaction.
Disclose classified information only when a NEED TO KNOW exists.
Disease can be cured; fate is incurable.
Disguise your feelings when you put your relatives on the plane for home.
Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
Disk crisis, please clean up!
Do not be led astray onto the path of virtue.
Do not be overly suspicious where it is not warranted.
Do not believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Do not believe in miracles--rely on them.
Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
Do not drink coffee in the morning or it will keep you awake until noon.
Do not kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Do not learn the tricks of the trade--learn the trade.
Do not lend money to a fiend.
Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.    (Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a))
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do not speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
Do not tell big lies.  Small ones can be just as effective.
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
Do you have a job?
Do you have lysdexia?
Do you know Montana?
Do you know what floccinaucinihilipilification means?
Doc, note, I dissent.  A fast never prevents a fatness.  I diet on cod.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Does your computer talk to you?
Doing gets it done.
Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
Don't I know you?
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
Don't blame me! I was dancing Friday night!
Don't comment bad code -- rewrite it.
Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.
Don't crush that dwarf;  hand me the pliers.
Don't despair -- your ideal lover is waiting for you around the corner.
Don't diddle code to make it faster -- find a better algorithm.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
Don't everyone thank me at once.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
Don't gamble with security.
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Don't give up, I'm proud of who you are.
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
Don't guess - check your security regulations.
Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder
Don't make a big deal out of everything; just deal with everything.
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
Don't patch bad code-- rewrite it.
Don't put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted.
Don't quit now, we might just as well lock the door and throw away the key.
Don't read everything you believe.
Don't shoot the pianist.
Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
Don't stop at one bug.
Don't sweat it, it's only ones and zeros.
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive.
Don't use contractions in formal writing.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't vote--it only encourages them!
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Don't worry, if everything worked right you'd be out of a job.
Double!
Down with ignurance!
Draw from your fine command of language and say nothing.
Draw your salary before spending it.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Drive defensively, buy a tank.
Drop that pickle!
Duck who fly upside down have quack up.
Duty is what one expects from others.
Each of us bears his own Hell.
Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
Economy makes men independent.
Education helps earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.
Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.
Ekkie ekkie phatang zooboing!
Elliptic paraboloids for sale.
Eloquence is logic on fire.
Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Enter your personal identification number.
Envy is a pain of mind that successful men cause their neighbors.
Errare umanum est.
Eschew dialect, irregardless.
Eschew obfuscation.
Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.
Eureka!
Even God lends a hand to honest boldness.
Even a cabbage may look at a king.
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me.
Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Ever help the person behind the counter with their terminal/computer?
Ever shoot an elephant in your pajamas?
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
Every man has his price.  Every price has its man.
Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse.
Every purchase has its price.
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every why hath a wherefore.
Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!
Everybody ought to have a friend.
Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment.
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
Everyone is born a king, and most people die in exile.
Everyone is enthusiastic about your work.
Everyone ought to have a maid.
Everyone stopping by with unsought advice will see your mistake.
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything goes wrong at once.
Everything put together, falls apart, sooner or later.
Everything should be transparent to the user.
Everything takes longer than you think it will.
Everything you know is wrong!
Everything's coming up roses.
Excreto ergo sum.
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs.
Expansion means complexity, and complexity decays.
Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Experiments should be reproducible.  They should all fail in the same way.
Express an opinion, but send advice by freight.
External Security:
Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.
Extreme good-naturedness borders on weakness of character.  Avoid it.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.
Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Fancy gizmos don't work.
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
Fast ship?  You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
Fasten your seat belt.
Fidelity:  A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Finagle's Law:  The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.
Firmness of delivery dates is inversely proportional to tightness of schedule.
Flee at once, all is discovered.
Follow the good side right to the fire, but not into it.
For a good time, call [phone].
For adult education nothing beats children.
For best results, squeeze from the bottom of the tube.
For courage mounteth with occasion.
For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like.
For thee the wonder working earth puts forth sweet flowers.
For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
Force has no place where there is need of skill.
Fort Wayne is not the headquarters of F troop.
fortune: cannot open /lib/games/fortunes
fortune: not found
Frankly, my dear Charlotte, I don't give a damn.
Free the Indianapolis 500.
Freedom is slavery.  Ignorance is strength.  War is peace.
Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
Frisbee players are ultimate lovers.
>From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
>From uucp Mon Dec  3 21:05:46 1979
Fudd's First Law:  "If you push something hard enough, it will fall over."
Function reject.
Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
Fuzzy project goals avoid the embarrassment of estimating the costs.
f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
Garlic is to salad what insanity is to art.
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
Genius is the talent of a man who is dead.
Get out the Crisco.
Girl, bathing on Bikini, eyeing boy, finds boy eyeing bikini on bathing girl.
Give big space to the festive dog that shall sport in the roadway.
Give him an evasive answer.
Give me a fish and I will eat today.  Teach me to fish and I will eat forever.
Give me all your lupins!
Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.
Give up.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Given my druthers, I'd druther not.
Go away, kid.  You bother me.
Go away.
Go soothingly in the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
Go Speed Racer, go Speed Racer, go Speed Racer, go!!!
God does not play dice with the universe.
God gives us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
God must love the common man; He made so many of them.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the universal amphitheater.
Good fortune will find you, providing you gave directions.
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a good day.
Greatness is a transitory experience.  It is never consistent.
Hackers of the world, unite!
Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.
Happy feast of the pig.
Harp not on that string.
Haste maketh waste.
Have no friends not equal to yourself.
Have you ever received a Fax or a photocopy of a floppy?
Have you ever shown a novice the "any" key? ... Was it the power switch?
Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?... Did it answer?
Have you locked your file cabinet?
Have you seen Quasimodo?  I had a hunch he was back.
Having nothing, nothing can he lose.
Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.
He does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.
He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.
He hath eaten me out of house and home.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.
He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
He who believes the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs.
He who cooks carrots and peas in same pot unsanitary.
He who enters contest is optimistic as submarine with screen doors.
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He who foresees calamities suffers them twice over.
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish $ast.
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
He who hates vices hates mankind.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who hoots with owls by night cannot soar with eagles by day.
He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He who knows others is wise.  He who knows himself is enlightened.
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
He who knows, does not speak.  He who speaks, does not know.
He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who lives by the sword eats with bloody hands.
He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
He who looks like his passport photo is not well enough to travel.
He who reads many fortunes gets confused.
He who slings mud loses ground.
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
He's a wild man. Get out of here.
He's dead, Jim.
Hell's broken loose.
Hello! I'm Bounder of Adventure!
Help!  I'm trapped inside an Amdahl 470!
Help!  I'm trapped inside an Amdahl 580!
Here comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason.
Here's looking at you, kid.
Hi, kids!  Ed Barbera here!
His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
History is bunk.
History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.
Honesty's the best policy.
Honi soit la vache qui rit.
Honk if you love obscene gestures.
Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
Hope is a waking dream.
Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.
Houdini escaping from New Jersey!
How about a little fire, scarecrow?
How apt the poor are to be proud.
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?
How can you work when the system's so crowded?
How come we never talk anymore?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
How high I am  /  How much I see  /  How far I reach  /  Depends on me
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
How untasteful can you get?
How was Thomas J. Watson buried? 9 edge down.
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
How you look depends on where you go.
Hyphenate between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
I am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.
I am a man--nothing human is alien to me.
I am looking for an honest man.
I am more bored than you could ever possibly be.  Go back to work.
I am not a crook.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
I belong to no organized party.  I am a Democrat.
I came to MIT to get an education for myself and a diploma for my mother.
I can relate to that.
I can't hear you.  There's a banana republic in my ear.
I can't reach the brakes on this piano!
I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no socks.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory.
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
I do desire we may be better strangers.
I don't get no respect.
I don't understand you anymore.
I dote on his very absence.
I enjoy the time that we spend together.
I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have no time for monks resisting the carnival.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
I kew a girl, she was a macho man.
I know on which side my bread is buttered.
I like it better in the dark.
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
I love treason but hate a traitor.
I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
I never did it that way before.
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's ...
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
I suggest a new strategy, R2.  Let the Wookiee win.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
I think we're in trouble.
I think, therefore I am paid.
I think, therefore I am.  I think.
I will make you shorter by the head.
I will never lie to you.
I will not forget you.
I wish they all could be California girls.
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I wouldn't shoot him if I were you.  It will just make him mad.
I would sooner be notorious than unknown.
I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
I'd love to, but I have to floss my cat.
I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I'd love to, but I want to spend more time with my blender.
I'd love to, but the President said he might drop in.
I'd love to, but the man on television told me to stay tuned.
I'd love to, but I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
I'd love to, but I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
I'd love to, but It's my parakeet's bowling night.
I'd love to, but It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
I'd love to, but I'm building a pig from a kit.
I'd love to, but I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
I'd love to, but I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
I'd love to, but I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
I'd love to, but I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
I'd love to, but I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
I'd love to, but I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
I'd love to, but I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
I'd love to, but I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
I'd love to, but I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
I'd love to, but I'm in training to be a household pest.
I'd love to, but I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
I'd love to, but I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
I'd love to, but I'm sandblasting my oven.
I'd love to, but I'm worried about my vertical hold.
I'd love to, but I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
I'd love to, but I'm being deported.
I'd love to, but the grunion are running.
I'd love to, but I'll be looking for a parking space.
I'd love to, but my Millard Fillmore Fan Club meets then.
I'd love to, but I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
I'd love to, but I have to fluff my shower cap.
I'd love to, but I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
I'd love to, but I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
I'd love to, but my plot to take over the world is thickening.
I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
I'd love to, but I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
I'd love to, but it's too close to the turn of the century.
I'd love to, but I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
I'd love to, but my subconscious says no.
I'd love to, but I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
I'd love to, but I left my body in my other clothes.
I'd love to, but the last time I went, I never came back.
I'd love to, but I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
I'd love to, but I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
I'd love to, but I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
I'd love to, but I'm having all my plants neutered.
I'd love to, but people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
I'd love to, but I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
I'd love to, but I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
I'd love to, but my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
I'd love to, but I'm touring China with a wok band.
I'd love to, but my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
I'd love to, but I never go out on days that end in "Y".
I'd love to, but my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
I'd love to, but I'm too young for that stuff.
I'd love to, but I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
I'd love to, but I have too much guilt.
I'd love to, but there are important world issues that need worrying about.
I'd love to, but I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
I'd love to, but I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
I'd love to, but I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
I'd love to, but I feel a song coming on.
I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
I'd love to, but my bathroom tiles need grouting.
I'd love to, but I have to bleach my hare.
I'd love to, but I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
I'd love to, but I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'd love to, but I have to study for a blood test.
I'd love to, but I'm going to be old someday.
I'd love to, but I've been traded to Cincinnati.
I'd love to, but I'm observing National Apathy Week.
I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
I'd love to, but my uncle escaped again.
I'd love to, but I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
I'd love to, but I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
I'd love to, but I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
I'd love to, but I have to go to court for kitty littering.
I'd love to, but I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
I'd love to, but I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
I'd love to, but having fun gives me prickly heat.
I'd love to, but I have to jog my memory.
I'd love to, but my palm reader advised against it.
I'd love to, but my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore.
I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Luke.
I'd love to, but I have to sit up with a sick ant.
I'd love to, but I'm trying to cut down.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
I'll burn my books.
I'll never get off this planet.
I'll tell ya, life aint easy for a boy named Sue!
I'll turn over a new leaf.
I'm a Hollywood writer; so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.
I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.
I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
I'm in love with Susy...
I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!
I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator".
I'm not lost, but I don't know where I am.
I've been there.
I've come for an argument!
I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
I've got a devil in me.
I've got a very bad feeling about this.
I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.
I've only got twelve cards.
IOT trap -- core dumped
Identify your visitor.
Idleness is leisure gone to seed.
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.
If I have not seen so far it is because I stood in giant's footsteps.
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.
If a string has one end, it has another.
If a string has one end, it has an other.
If a tool is put away when you're sure it won't be needed again, it will. Soon.
If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
If anything can go wrong, it will.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.  No use being a damn fool.
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
If it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
If it happens, it must be possible.
If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
If it jams, force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If it looks easy, it's tough.  If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
If it wasn't so cool out today, it would be warmer.
If it wasn't so warm out today, it would be cooler.
If it works, don't fix it.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
If more than one person is responsible for a bug, no one is at fault.
If no one uses it, there's a reason.
If not controlled, work flows to the competent person until he is submerged.
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.
If the facts do not conform to your theory, they must be disposed of.
If the opposite of "pro" is "con", then what's the opposite of "progress"?
If there is no wind, row.
If things appear to be going well, you have overlooked something.
If this is time-sharing, give me my share right now.  It's not time yet.
If this were subjunctive, I'm in the wrong mood.
If time heals all wounds, why does the belly button stay the same?
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play!
If you ask how much it is, you can't afford it.
If you continually give you will continually have.
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
If you do not change your direction, you may end where you are headed.
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
If you fool around with something long enough, it will eventually break.
If you get angry at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich or famous or both.
If you have nothing to say, please only say it once!
If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away.
If you look just close enough, you can see anything you want.
If you make a mistake, you right it immediately to the best of your ability.
If you put it off long enough, it might go away.
If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
If you stay up all night wondering where the sun is, it will dawn on you.
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
If you think this fortune is confusing, then change one pig.
If you thought yesterday was bad, wait till you see what happens today.
If you treat people right they will treat you right; 90 per cent of the time.
If you try to please everyone, somebody is not going to like it.
If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
If you're feeling good, don't worry; you'll get over it.
If your aim in life is nothing; you can't miss.
If your bread is stale, make toast.
Ignorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.
Ignore previous fortune.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
In a crisis, you will choose the worst possible course of action.
In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater confusion.
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
In any human endeavor, work seeks the lowest hierarchical level.
In charity there is no excess.
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
In my end is my beginning.
In order to be, never try to seem.
In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator.
In this fortune, the concluding three words 'were left out'.
In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
Information is the inverse of entropy.
Insert your card magnetic stripe down.
Ingres is not a necessary precursor to Egress.
Inside every large problem, there is a small problem trying to get out.
Institute: An archaic school where football in not taught.
Integrity has no need for rules.
Internal consistency is valued more than efficient service.
Is it a game of chance?  Not the way I play it.
Is knowledge knowable, and how do we know?
Is this a machine?  I don't talk to machines!  [Click]
Is this really happening?
It could be worse--it might be raining.
It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
It is always the partner's fault.
It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is better to be deceived by a friend, than to suspect him.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
It is better to have loved and lost -- much better.
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
It is better to have men ask why you have no statue, than why you have one.
It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is difficult to prophesy, especially about the future.
It is difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys.
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
It is hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
It is later than you think.
It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.
It is not every question that deserves an answer.
It is now pitch dark.  If you proceed, you will likely fall into a pit.
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.
It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.
It is the wise bird that builds its nest in a tree.
It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.
It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.
It just goes to show you, its always something.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
It won't work.
It works better if you plug it in.
Italians do it better!
It'll be just like Beggars Canyon back home.
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's all in the mind, ya know.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's funny. You come some place new and everything looks the same.
It's later than you think.
It's not easy having a good time; even smiling makes my face ache.
It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
It's running like a scalded dog!
It's six o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your terminal to explode.
It's smart to pick your friends - but not to pieces.
It's smart to pick your friends - but not your nose.
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature.
Sorry, computer foul-up!
Jimmy Hoffa--please call home.
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
Just give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.
Just to have it is enough.
Keep America beautiful.  Swallow your beer cans.
Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o'Sunday.
Kiss your keyboard goodbye!
Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.
Kix are for trids.
Klaatu barada nikto.
Knowledge is good.
Knowledge is power.
Knowledge without common sense is folly.
LISP:  To call a spade a thpade.
LOGIN PROCEEDING. LOGIN PROCEEDING.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.
Laugh when you can; cry when you must.
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.
Law stands mute in the midst of arms.
Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.
Lead on, MacDuff!
Learn to pause--or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.
Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.
Leave no stone unturned.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Lemon curry ?!?
Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let me see what happen when you roll your face on the keyboard.
Let me take you a buttonhole lower.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let the machine do the dirty work.
Let's do the Time Warp again!
Let's go get a pizza!
Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
Liar:  One who tells an unpleasant truth.
Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed.
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Life is like an onion--you peel off layer after layer, and find nothing in it.
Life is one long struggle in the dark.
Life is that brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
Live in the past and future only.
Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells AWFUL.
Lonely is a man without love.
Long computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.
Long life is in store for you.
Look afar and see the end from the beginning.
Look after the molehills and the mountains will take care of themselves.
Look ere ye leap.
Look under the sofa cushion; you will be surprised at what you find.
Look, Muth tracks!
Look, sir! 'droids!
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying "BOOGA, BOOGA!"
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.
Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
Love is in the offing.    Be affectionate to one who adores you.
Love is sentimental measles.
Love the sea?  I dote upon it - from the beach.
Love thy neighbor.  Tune thy piano.
MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING
Machines should work; people should think.
Make a wish, it might come true.
Make input easy to proofread
Make it right before you make it faster.
Make sure all variables are initialized before use.
Make sure comments and code agree.
Make sure your code "does nothing" gracefully.
Make three consecutive correct guesses and you will be considered an expert.
Man and wife make one fool.
Man is by nature a political animal.
Man who bites bread or eats peas with knife is lost creature.
Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man will never fly.  Space travel is merely a dream.  All aspirin is alike.
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Many a family tree needs trimming.
Many a yo-yo think he have the world on a string.
Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing.
Many are called, few volunteer.
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
Many hands make light work.
Many pages make a crowded castle.
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket bibles on very thin paper.
Many pages make a thick book.
Many people are unenthusiastic about their work.
Many people are unenthusiastic about your work.
Many receive advice, few profit by it.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on earth.
Marry not a tennis player.  For love means nothing to them.
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
Mathematicians practice absolute freedom.
Mathematics is the language God used to write the universe.
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
Max, as a unary function, isn't very interesting.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
May you live in uninteresting times.
Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
Meditation is not what you think.
Memory should be the starting point of the present.
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last.
Mind your own business, Spock.    I'm sick of your half-breed interference.
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.
Misfortune.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Moderation in all things.
Moderation in all things, and moderation is the first to go.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship.
Money is the root of all evil, and everyone needs roots.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.
Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
Multics is security spelled sideways.
Mum's the word.
Mumble.
Murphy was an optimist.
Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
Must I hold a candle to my shames?
My Karma ran over my dogma.
My brain hurts!
My cup hath runneth'd over with love.
My dog has no nose.
My family history begins with me, but yours ends with you.
My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
Nanu nanu!
National security is in your hands - guard it well.
Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
Necessity has no law.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Neestiko arkoudi dhen horevee.
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Neither spread the germs of gossip nor encourage others to do so.
Never argue with a fool.  People might not know the difference.
Never argue with anyone who buys ink by the gallon.
Never ask a question unless the answer makes a difference.
Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
Never drink from your finger bowl--it contains only water.
Never eat at a place called Mom's.
Never eat in a place with sliding doors unless you're crazy about raw fish.
Never give a gun to ducks.
Never give an inch!
Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
Never play cards with a man called Doc.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Never promise more than you can perform.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid doing entirely.
Never replace a successful experiment.
Never say anything more predictive than "Watch this!"
Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
Never sleep with anyone whose troubles are worse than your own.
Never take a drink when you are feeling sorry for yourself.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never throw a bird at a dragon.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and bothers the pig.
Never underestimate a woman.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a nuclear bomb.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
New UNIX/TS manuals available in 2F-101.
Next Wednesday you will be presented with a great opportunity.
Nice guys get sick.
Nihilism doesn't exist.
No analysis is a complete failure - it can always serve as a bad example.
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No directory.
No experiment is reproducible.
No it isn't!
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory
No one becomes depraved in a moment.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
No one can put you down without your full cooperation.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
No one knows what he can do till he tries.
No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.
No one within an organization really knows what's going on.
No poems can please nor live long that are written by water drinkers.
No problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances.
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.
No sentence fragments.
No sooner said than done--so acts your man of worth.
No writer's life understands that he's working when he's staring out the window
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody ever ruined their eyesight by looking at the bright side of something.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Not all who own a harp are harpers.
Not now, Kato.
Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free.
Nothing astonishes man so much as common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing endures but change.
Nothing ever goes away.
Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is but what is not.
Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.
Nothing is finished until the paperwork is done.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work.
Nothing is skinnier than nothing.
Nothing is so firmly believed as which is least known.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
Nothing will ever happen to you.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the Legislature.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
     Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck! [POP!] Oooooooh, a wise guy!
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
Oh my!    Another kludge!
Oh this age!  How tasteless and ill-bred it is.
Oh wearisome condition of humanity!  Born under one law, to another bound.
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
Oh, Nicky, you're such a tool.
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
Old age is the harbor of all ills.
Old men give good advice when they are no longer able to provide bad examples.
Old programmers never die, they just become managers.
Old programmers never die, they just hit account block limit.
Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
On the way to the corner, a dropped tool will land on your foot.
Once a can of worms is opened, the only way to recan them is in a bigger can.
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
One Bell System - it sometimes works.
One Bell System - it works.
One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
One day you will find yourself and be quite disappointed.
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
One funged curve is worth a thousand weasel words.
One good turn deserves another.
One good turn gets the whole blanket.
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One picture is worth a thousand words.    See diagram below.
One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.
One will not have needed the future perfect in one's entire life.
One of it's legs is both the same.
One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.
Only a fool has no doubts.
Only fools are quoted.
Only those with nothing to be sorry for smile back at the rear of an elephant.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, he sings
Optimist is person who thinks he can break up traffic jam by blowing horn.
Oregonians don't tan, they rust.
Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
Our swords shall play the orators for us.
Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
Omak:
P-K4.
PLEASE LOG OFF!.... NOW ! ! !
PURGE COMPLETE.
Palindrome isn't one.
Panic: can't find  rm -rf *
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
Parsley is gharsley.
Password:
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
Patch griefs with proverbs.
Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
Pause for storage relocation.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtains.
Peanut butter.
People humiliating a salami!
People smart enough to give good advice are usually smart enough to give none.
People who are grateful are usually good.
People who can least afford to pay rent pay rent.
People who can most afford to pay rent build equity.
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
People will remember you better if you always wear the same outfit.
People with no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them
Perhaps it was because Nero played the fiddle that they burned Rome.
Peters hungry, time to eat lunch.
Phasors locked on target, Captain.
Philadelphia just seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.
Philosophy:  unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
Phone call for cbh.
Pipe gives wise man time to think and fool something to stick in mouth.
Plastic explosives will be appropriate later in the week.
Please do not shoot the pianist.  He is doing his best.
Please go away.
Please take cash.
Please update your programs.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Power is poison.
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Practice yourself what you preach.
Praise the sea; on shore remain.
Preserve the old, but know the new.
Pressure is the normal force acting upon an engineer.
Prevent security leaks.
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
Pronounce your prepositions, damn it!
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Proposals, as understood by the proposer, will be judged otherwise by others.
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
Prototype designs always work.
Pssst.    The root password is 'kumquat'.
Public schools are the nurseries of all vice and immorality.
Pull yourself together; things are not all that bad.
Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the T.V. screen.
Put 'em in the trunk.
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
Put people on hold when possible.
Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
Put your genius into your life.  Put only your talent into your work.
Put your trust in those who are worthy.
Quack!
Quando il gioco si fa duro, i duri cominciano a giocare.
Quantity is no substitute for quality, but its the only one we've got.
Quit looking at fortunes and get back to work!
Quit work and play for once!
RTFM
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.
Rank has its privileges.
Read your Amdahl Business Practices.
Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
Reading the small print is education; not reading it is experience.
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs.
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction.
Reality--what a concept!
Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
Rehumanize yourself!
Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
Remember the Alamo.
Remember to say hello to your bank teller.
Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
Remember, Unix on some machines is nUxi.
Remembering is for those who have forgotten.
Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
Reputation is what others are not thinking about you.
Research is to see what everyone else has, and then think what no one else has.
Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed.
Resist everything but temptation.
Rest assured that your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
Retribution will be yours.
Riches cover a multitude of woes.
Rome was not built in one day.
Rotten wood cannot be carved - Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9)
Ruling a big country is like cooking a small fish.
Run away!
SEMPER UBI SUB UBI !!!!
Safety is better than the wrong answer.
Salary is no object: strive only to keep body and soul apart.
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
Satire is what closes in New Haven.
Save gas, don't eat beans.
Save gas, don't use the shell.
Save yourself!    Reboot in 5 seconds!
Say the secret woid and the duck is yours.
Say the secret word and you win $100.
Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.
Sculpture: mud pies that endure.
Sears has everything.
Second-rate people hire third-rate people.
Security is the individual's responsibility.
Security is your responsibility.
Seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.
Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!
Sell short.
Set the cart before the horse.
Sex causes cancer.  We'd wipe out cancer in one generation if no one had sex.
Sex discriminates against the shy and ugly.
Sex is not the answer.    Sex is the question.  "Yes" is the answer.
She may very well pass for forty-three in the dusk with a light behind her.
She just, turns around and disappear. I kinda like that style.
She loves you as much as she can, which is not very much.
She sells cshs by the cshore.
She who hesitates is won.
Sheep are best!
Shift to the left!  Shift to the right!  Pop up, push down!  Byte, byte, byte!
Shine on, you crazy diamond!
Short circuits got no reason to live.
Show respect for age.  Drink good scotch for a change.
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
Show your appreciation for your lover with a surprise small gift.
Shower the people you love with your love.
Shower with the people you love.
Sight is a faculty; seeing is an art.
Sign on bank:  "FREE BOTTLE OF CHIVAS WITH EVERY MILLION-DOLLAR DEPOSIT."
Sign up now for the summarizing Proust competition!
Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex.
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
Since aerosols are forbidden, the police are using roll-on Mace!
Sir, it's very possible this asteroid is not stable.
Slang is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work
Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
Small things make base men proud.
Smile!    You're on Candid Camera.
Smile, tomorrow will be worse.
Smoke no peaches.
Snow Day - stay home.
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that go away if ignored long enough.
So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.
So you're back.
Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.
Society is a mule, not a car; if pressed harder, it will kick and throw you off
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some people fall for everything and stand for nothing.
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
Somehow, somewhere along the line, this town lost its pride.
Someone close to you is taking advantage of your trust.
Someone is speaking well of you.
Someone is speaking well of you.  How unusual!
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
Someone will try to honk your nose today.
Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.
Sorry, no fortune this time.
Sorry.    Nice try.
Sorry.
Spend enough time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
Spock:    We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
State Farm?  Guard dogs?
Statistics are no substitute for judgement.
Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts--for support, not illumination.
Stay away from flying saucers today.
Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is unattainable.
Strike while the iron is hot.
Sturgeon's Law:  Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
Succumb to natural tendencies.    Be hateful and boring.
Supercompetence is more objectionable than incompetence.
Support your local church.  Worship at Bank of America.
Surly grammarians insist that all words ending in "ly" are adverbs.
Survival of the species is everyone's business.
Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.
System checkpoint complete.
System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crashing.
System maintenance about to begin.
System restarting, wait.
Systems programmers are the high priests of a low cult.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
Tact is the unsaid part of what you're thinking.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.
Take what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talkers are no good doers.
Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.
Tanstaafl.
Taxpayers don't have to take a civil service exam to work for the government.
Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
That is a two part question ...
That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.
That that is is not that that is not.
That which is not good for the swarm, neither is it good for the bee.
That's like fluffing the pillows on the Titanic
That's what she said.
The Boy Scouts have adult leadership. The Air Force doesn't.
The Boy Scouts have adult leadership. The Navy doesn't.
The Boy Scouts have adult leadership. The Army doesn't.
The Boy Scouts have adult leadership. The Marines don't.
The Boy Scouts have adult leadership. The Coast Guard doesn't.
The Bozos are coming.
The Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.
The adverb always follows the verb.
The amount of work done varies inversely with the time spent in the office.
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
The better part of valor is discretion.
The bigger the theory, the better.
The brain works from the moment of birth until you stand up to speak in public.
The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.
The coast was clear.
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
The descent to Hades is the same from every place.
The die is cast.
The difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer.
The disks are getting full; purge a file today.
The door is the key.
The early worm gets the bird.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
The end of labor is to gain leisure.
The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.
The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
The following statement is not true:
The future is a myth created by insurance salesmen and high school counselors.
The future is bright in affairs of the heart.
The future is not what it used to be. (It never was.)
The future lies ahead.
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
The gentlemen looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
The hand that kindles cannot quench the flame.
The heart is wiser than the intellect.
The honeymoon is that short period of doting between dating and debting.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
The idle mind knows not what it is it wants.
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
The ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
The last person who said that, God rest his soul, lived to regret it.
The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.
The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
The light of a hundred stars does not equal the light of the moon.
The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
The man who raises a fist has run out of ideas.
The man who runs may fight again.
The meek shall inherit the earth.  They are too weak to refuse.
The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't.
The moon is made of green cheese.
The more the merrier.
The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
The most harmful error has not yet been discovered in your program.
The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware that he is wise.
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
The next six days are dangerous.
The obvious answer is always overlooked.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
The only thing constant is change.
The only thing funnier than how things don't work out, is how they do.
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're done
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
The other line moves faster.
The pen is mightier than the pencil.
The perfect guest is one who makes his host feel at home.
The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
The ripest fruit falls first.
The road to Hades is easy to travel.
The road to hell is paved with NAND gates.
The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.
The show ain't over 'till the fat lady sings.
The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.
The smoker you drink, the player you get.
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
The star of riches is shining upon you.
The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.
The time is right to make new friends.
The two great tragedies in life: not getting what one wants and getting it.
The universe is all a spinoff of the Big Bang.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
The world is coming to an end...  SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!
The world isn't worse.  It's just that the news coverage is so much better.
The world wants to be deceived.
The worst form of failure is the failure to try.
The young wish to give their elders the full benefits of their inexperience.
Then you must be Don Francisco's sister!
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
There are fortunes that mention the word 'umbrella' for no apparent reason.
There are moments when art attains almost to the dignity of manual labor.
There are more horses' asses in this world than there are horses.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are more ways into the woods than out.
There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
There are no giant crabs in here, Frank.
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet.  Two clarinets.
There is a bear following you around.
There is a fly on your Dimension!
There is always an easier way to do it.
There is always one more bug.
There is always someone worse off than yourself.
There is always something new out of Africa.
There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible, and wrong.
There is an exception to all laws.
There is an exception to every rule.
There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
There is danger in delaying, good fortune in acting.
There is life after death: in Cleveland, people are still allowed to vote.
There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.
There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
There is news.
There is no "A" in "KERNEL"!
There is no devil; it's God when he's drunk.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften.
There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
There is no royal road to geometry.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
There is no security on this earth.  There is only opportunity.
There is no such thing as a little garlic.
There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.
There is no time like the pleasant.
There is no time like the present to postpone what you ought to be doing.
There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.
There is nothing so easy that it becomes difficult when done with reluctance.
There is only one way to kill capitalism--by taxes, taxes, and more taxes.
There is very little future in being right when your boss is wrong.
There isn't room enough in this dress for both of us.
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
There's an Italian in my room and he won't go away!
There's at least one fool in every married couple.
There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
There's small choice in rotten apples.
There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.
They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
They just buzzed and buzzed.....buzzed.
Things are not always what they seem.
Things past redress and now with me past care.
Things will be brighter tonight.  A cop will shine a light in your face.
Things won't get any better, so get used to it.
Things work better when plugged in.
Think twice before speaking.  But don't say "think think click click".
Thinly sliced cabbage.
This afternoon is favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
This ain't no party! This ain't no disco! This ain't no foolin' around!
This fortune every third, but it still comprehensible.
This fortune intentionally left blank.
This fortune is inoperative.  Please try another.
This fortune is owned and operated by Frobazz Magic Co., Ltd.
This fortune will not come true.
This portion of UTS II is a trade secret of Amdahl Corporation.
This is a good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
This is a good time to punt work.
dollars, and come alone.  I'm serious!
This is the day for firm decisions!  Or is it?
This login session:  $13.99
This night methinks is but the daylight sick.
This place has everything.
This sentance has threee errors.
This sentence contains ten words, eighteen syllables, and sixty-four letters.
This sentence no verb.
This system will self-destruct in five minutes.
This unit ... must ... survive.
This was the most unkindest cut of all.
Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, simulate.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, teach.  Those who can't teach, hack.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, teach.  Those who can't teach, teach gym.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, write.
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Those who in quarrels interpose must often wipe a bloody nose.
Those who talk don't know.  Those who don't talk, know.
Thou hast seen nothing yet.
Thou shall not sleep within an interrupt handler.
Time and tide wait for no man.
Time as he grows old teaches all things.
Time flies like arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Time is nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once.
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
To add insult to injury.
To be wise, the only thing you need to know is when to say "I don't know."
To climb the ladder of success you must get through the crowd at the bottom.
To do nothing is to be nothing.
To do two things at once is to do neither.
To err is human, to forgive is out of the question.
To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
To give happiness is to deserve happiness.
To have died once is enough.
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
To keep your friends, treat them kindly; to kill them, treat them often.
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
To love is good, love being difficult.
To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.
To see a need and wait to be asked, is to already refuse.
To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
To teach is to learn.
To the landlord belong the doorknobs.
To use violence is to already be defeated.
Today is a bad day to give to charity.
Today is a good day for you to jump in a lake.
Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking official.
Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
Too clever is dumb.  --Ogden Nash
Toothache tends to start on Saturday night.
Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.
Treat each new situation as though it's a crisis.
Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
True happiness will be found only in true love.
Truth is hard to find and harder to obscure.
Truthful:  Dumb and illiterate.
Try `stty 0' -- it works much better.
Try a new system or a different approach.
Try later.
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
Trying to establish voice contact--please yell into keyboard.
Trying to get an education here is like trying to take a drink from a fire hose
Tuck under thumb and hold firmly.
Two heads are better than one.
Two men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars.
Two rights don't make a wrong, they make an airplane.
UFO's are real.  The Air Force doesn't exist.
Under every stone lurks a politician.
Undetectable errors are infinite; detectable errors by definition are finite.
Unix soit qui mal y pense.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
Unusual cheeses.
Up your accumulator.
Use GOTOs only to implement a fundamental structure.
Use IF...ELSE  IF...ELSE  IF...ELSE... to implement multi-way branches.
Use debugging compilers.
Use free-form input where possible
Use library functions.
Using TSO is like kicking a dead whale across the beach.
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
Vini, vidi, vici.
Violence is the last recourse of the incompetent.
Visit beautiful Vergas, Minnesota.
Visit beautiful Wisconsin Dells.
Volcano - a mountain with hiccups.
Vote Anarchist.
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.
Walk softly and carry a big stick.
War is the last refuge of incompetent statesmen.
War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.
Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
Watch out for off-by-one errors.
Watch out where the Huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow!
Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.
Watson! Come here! I need you!
We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.
We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.
We are not a clone.
We are not alone.
We are the knights who say, "NIE!"
We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.
We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.
We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.
We have got to get organized!
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
We may be alone.  We may not be alone.    Either way, the thought is staggering.
We prefer to speak evil of ourselves rather than not speak of ourselves at all.
We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears.
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.
We'll be back to Nick Danger after this message.
We'll pivot at warp 2 and bring all tubes to bear, Mr. Sulu.
We're all bozos on this bus.
We're all over it, like a cheap suit.
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
Welcome to The Machine.
Welcome to the Future!    It's just starting now ...
Well begun is half done.
Well I know where she come from but I don't know what's her name
Well, pluck me naked as a scalded chicken!
Whadda ya mean, "we"?
Whadda ya want for nothin'?  Rubber biscuit?
Wharbat darbid yarbou sarbay?
What a friend we have in cheeses.
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes.
What is Life?  It's the cereal Mikey likes.
What is food to one, it to others bitter poison.
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
What is worth doing is worth doing for money.
What is worth doing is worth overdoing.
What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
What soon grows old?  Gratitude.
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five cent bagel.
What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
What this country needs is a good five cent nickel.
What we learn from history is that we do not learn from history.
What you need is love potion #9.
What's all this brouhaha?
What's done to children, they will do to society.
What's so funny?
What's the difference between a duck?
Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.
Whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland.
Whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first.
When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to guarantee them.
When I'm good, I'm very good; but when I'm bad, I'm better.
When a hammer is the only tool, every problem looks like a nail.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When inlaws are outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
When in doubt, follow your heart.
When in doubt, lead trump.
When in doubt, leave out the adjective.
When in doubt, mumble.    When in trouble, delegate.  When in charge, ponder.
When in doubt, take all the defaults.
When it rains, it pours.
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
When nothing can possibly go wrong, it will.
When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
When the plane you're on is late, the plane you need to transfer to is on time.
When the sun shineth, make hay.
When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
When things are going well, something will go wrong.
When will you realize Vienna waits for you?
When working a problem, it helps to know the answer.
When you ain't got nothin', you got nothin' to lose.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you are used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanized.
When you dig another out of trouble, you've got a place to bury your own.
When you finally discover all of Life's answers, they'll change the questions.
When you go out to buy, don't show your silver.
When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
When you mention something, if it's bad, it happens, if it's good, it goes away
When you're in command, command.
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Where are we?
Where the hell is /usr/hippo?
Where the hell is Wall Drug?
Where the hell is Omak?
Where the system is concerned, you're not allowed to ask "Why?".
Where there's a whip there's a way.
Where's the beef?
Which is not a complete sentence, but merely a subordinate clause.
While there's life, there's hope.
Who are you?
Who cares anyway?
Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
Who reformatted the root disk?
Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.
Who is John Galt?
Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
Who needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
Who to himself is law no law doth need, offends no law, and is a king indeed.
Who was Bruce Clarke?
Who was Dan Walsh?
Who was Dave Cardinal?
Who was Evan Adams?
Who was Frank Suchomel?
Who was Jim Voll?
Who was Karl Danz?
Who was Lorrie Duval?
Who was Mark Linton?
Who was Steve Saperstein?
Who was Tom Lyon?
Whoops, I formatted the root disk.
Whoops, stepped on a frog.
Who's scruffy looking?
Why are there no black M&M's?
Why are there no blue M&M's?
Why are there no fuchisa M&M's?
Why are there no grey M&M's?
Why are there no lavender M&M's?
Why are there no mauve M&M's?
Why are there no pink M&M's?
Why are there no polka dot M&M's?
Why are there no purple M&M's?
Why are there no red M&M's?
Why are there no tan M&M's?
Why are there no white M&M's?
Why do we study poverty instead of wealth?
Why do you have so much quickness of movement if not to avoid responsibility?
Why do you think they call it "find"?
Why does love got to be so sad?
Why not go out on a limb?  Isn't that where the fruit is?
Will had a fortune the other day, but he forgot it.
Wisdom is knowing what to do next.
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
Wise man see more from bottom of well than fool from mountain top.
Wise man see more from mountain top than fool from bottom of well.
Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.
Wit has truth in it.  Wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
Without tools there would be no wisdom.
Words are the voice of the heart.
Words have a longer life than deeds.
Words must be weighed, not counted.
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
Work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.
Would it help if I got out and pushed?
Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?
Wow!  I could've had a V/8!
Write all adverbial forms correct.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet.
Yesterday is a memory.    Tomorrow is a vision.  Today is a bitch.
Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.
You always find something in the last place you look, unless it's not there.
You are a bundle of energy always on the go.
You are a singer who has to take any note above A with your eyebrows.
You are a very redundant person; that's what kind of person you are, redundant.
You are always busy.
You are an insult to my intelligence!  I demand that you log off immediately.
You are being paged.
You are being swapped.
You are being watched.    Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
You are capable of planning your future.
You are confident of things you know nothing about.
You are confused; but this is your normal state.
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
You are fair-minded, just and loving.
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
You are fast approaching your level of incompetence.
You are going to have a new love affair.
You are in a maze of little twisting passages, all different.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
You are in a maze of twisty little programs, all alike.
You are in a twisting maze of little passages, all different.
You are lustworthy.
You are magnetic in your bearing.
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.
You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery.
You are so narrowminded you can see through a keyhole with two eyes.
You are standing on my toes.
You are taking advantage of the good nature of a friend.  Be careful.
You are taking yourself too seriously.
You are too narrowminded if you can see through a keyhole with both eyes.
You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty.
You are truly a rhinestone in the rough.
You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
You are unscrupulously dishonest, false, and deceitful.
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
You auto buy now.
You can be replaced by this computer.
You can be replaced by a machine that flushes.
You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't swallow a cage, can you?
You can lead a horticulture, but you cannot make her think.
You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you.
You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
You can't change the laws of physics, Captain; I've got to have thirty minutes.
You can't cheat the phone company.
You can't even cut the cheese.
You can't fool me--there ain't no sanity clause.
You can't get there from here.
You can't get to Heaven on roller skates.
You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME.
You can't kiss a girl unexpectedly--only sooner than she thought you would.
You can't win, you can't break even, and you can't get out of the game.
You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
You cannot see farther than others by standing on the feet of giants.
You cannot see the wood for the trees.
You cannot succeed by criticizing others.
You cannot use your friends and have them too.
You dialed 5483.
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
You do not have mail.
You do well in speculation where land or anything to do with earth is involved.
You don't give a damn about apathy.
You don't know what you want, and are willing to go through hell to get it.
You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.
You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
You don't usually see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
You dream of things that aren't and ask "why not?".
You enjoy the company of other people.
You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.
You fill a much-needed gap.
You get the most of what you need the least.
You get what you pay for.
You hate mail.
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
You have a frog in your pocket?
You have a massage.  (From the Swedish prime minister.)
You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.
You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.
You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
You have a truly strong individuality.
You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
You have an important role as a negative example.
You have an unusual equipment for success.  Be sure to use it properly.
You have been selected for a secret mission.
You have fallen so far behind, there is no reason to log in.
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
You have hate mail.
You have junk mail.
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
You have mail.
You have many friends and very few living enemies.
You have no real enemies.
You have only a very small head and must live within it.
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.  You will learn a lot today.
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
You haven't a single redeeming vice.
You humans are all alike.
You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.
You know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
You look marvelous.
You look tired
You love peace.
You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
You may already be a wiener!
You may be a lover but you aint no dancer!
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile.
You may now log in to life.  Password:
You mean I can put stuff past column 72? WOW! UNIX is great!
You might have mail.
You need not worry about your future.
You never find an article until you replace it.
You never have mail.
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
You now have Asian Flu.
You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.
You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.
You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.
You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
You roll my log, and I will roll yours.
You say that now, but try chewing a child the next time you're car sick.
You say things with your eyes that others waste time putting into words.
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
You should avoid hedging, at least that's what I think.
You should go home.
You should hardly ever equivocate.
You should use contraceptives at every conceivable occasion.
You shouldn't touch a pig unless it hasn't been in the mud.
You still need the last file you removed.
You tread upon my patience.
You used to be indecisive.  Now you're not sure.
You want a fortune?  I'll give you a fortune.  "Blech!"
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.
You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.
You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize--posthumously.
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
You will be held hostage by a radical group.
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.
You will be invited to dine with many important people.  Once.
You will be married within a year.
              ---- This space for rent ----
You will be misunderstood by everyone.
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.
You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
You will be squirrely today.
You will be successful in love.
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
You will be surrounded by luxury.
You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.
You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
You will be where you most desire to be in a short while.
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.
You will become rich and famous unless you don't.
You will die of terminal acne.
You will engage in a profitable business activity.
You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass.
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
You will find what is not lost and enter where there are no doors.
You will forget that you ever knew me.
You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
You will gain money by an illegal or immoral action.
You will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford.
You will have a flat tire before the end of the month.
You will have a head crash on your private pack.
You will have a long and boring life.
You will have a long and healthy life.
You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.
You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends.
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
You will have long and healthy life.
You will have many recoverable tape errors.
You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
You will inherit millions of dollars.
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
You will know happy motorcyclist by the bug stains on his teeth.
You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.
You will live by the side of the road and help some pilgrim along life's way.
You will live to see your grandchildren.
You will lose an important file.
You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.
You will never know hunger.
You will not be elected to public office this year.
You will outgrow your usefulness.
You will outlive those who seek to destroy you.
You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
You will pass away very quickly.
You will pioneer the first Martian colony.
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.
You will receive a legacy that will place you above want.
You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.
You will soon forget this.
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
You will soon meet a stranger who will become your friend.
You will soon meet a strangler who will become your fiend.
You will spend the rest of your life in the future.
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
You will survive the conflagration.
You will triumph over your enemy.
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
You will wish you hadn't.
You would if you could but you can't so you won't.
You'll be called to a post requiring high ability in handling groups of people.
You'll be sorry.
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
You're all clear now, kid.  Now blow this thing so we can all go home.
You're all over it, like a cheap suit.
You're at Witt's End.
You're my hero!
Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
Young men, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.
Your aim is high and to the right.
Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
Your aims are high, and you are incapable of much.
Your analyst has you confused with another patient.
Your business will assume vast proportions.
Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion.
Your code should be more efficient!
Your computer account is overdrawn.  Please reauthorize.
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
Your disk will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
Your domestic life may be harmonious.
Your education begins where what is called your education is over.
Your empty file directory has been deleted.
Your enemies are closing in.
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
Your kindness and generosity cause envy in a powerful person nearby.
Your logic was impeccable, captain.  We are in grave danger.
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
Your love life will be interesting.
Your lover will never wish to leave you.
Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.
Your mode of life will be changed to 0644.
Your mode of life will be changed to ASCII.
Your mode of life will be changed to EBCDIC.
Your most useful program will be continually improved until it is useless.
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
Your present plans will be successful.
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
Your resume will be used on the "Tonight Show" monologue.
Your salary will be increased.
Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.
Your step will soil many countries.
Your supervisor is thinking about you.
Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
Your winning smile is your greatest asset.
Your work is very poor, but at least it's slow.
Youth is not a time of life, it's a state of mind.