Why is he eating Cleaveland? Cleaveland don't taste good.\!Tazmania
\#0
I've never been in a ladie's washroom. I have. They have a couch,\!Two men selling purses on QVC
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Give me the grandmother-babe or I'll feel my wrath.\!Aphrodite, Hercules: the Legend Continues
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I have more caffiene in me than blood cells.\!Sam, Profiler
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Facial art. Oooo! How wilderness.\!Q, Star Trek: Voyager
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Stop pestering Satan!\!Margie, The Simpsons
\#0
'ManLand'? You have a themepark between your legs now?\!Jill, Home Improvement
\#0
What do you get when you trace your butt onto paper? Nothing anybody wants to see.\!7th Heaven
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Money is a lot like men - if you act like you aren't interested it end's up in your pants.\!All Fired Up
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Room service in this hotel is terrible. Who do I have to kill to get a sandwich?\!Kermit, Kung Fu: The Legend Continues
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I am so psychosomatic it makes me sick just thinking about it!\!George, "Seinfeld"
\#0
I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats to every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So, please, a little respect, for I am Constanza, Lord of the Idiots.\!George, "Seinfeld"
\#0
Can I count on you if things get ugly?\!George to Jerry, in The Chinese Restaurant, "Seinfeld"
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I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi; he's just neat.\!Elaine, in The Limo, "Seinfeld"
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Up here, I'm already gone.\!Kramer, in The Keys, "Seinfeld"
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You're sooooooo good looking!\!Jerry, responding to someone's sneeze, "Seinfeld"
\#0
His mother was a mudder... His father was a mudder.\!Kramer, in The Subway, "Seinfeld"
\#0
That's one tuck, one no-tuck.\!George, in The Trip, "Seinfeld"
\#0
Do you ever yearn?\!Kramer, in The Keys, "Seinfeld"
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Clowns do not belong in a hospital. Neither do children.\!Chicago Hope
\#0
Kid, you've heard about the birds and the bees? Well, let me tell you about the slugs.\!Fame
\#0
Well, would you look at that, girl talk and me without a uterus.\!Caroline in the City
\#0
I'm a little high-strung. Lady, you're a Stradivarius.\!Lois & Clark
\#0
One man can change any world.\!Lois & Clark
\#0
Can you do that? If you can't, my boy, I suggest you run, hide, and pray.\!Lois & Clark
\#0
Well, I gotta admit, you sorta grow on a person.\!Lois & Clark
\#0
You grovel with style; that's important.\!Lois & Clark
\#0
Land of the free, home of the under surveillance.\!Lois & Clark
\#0
I don't know anything about Emily Dickinson. Emily Dickinson: woman, poet, dead. Go.\!Saved by the Bell: The College Years
\#0
I think you should sing tenor. Yeah, ten or twelve miles away from here.\!Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
\#0
Empathy, sacrifice, love. These emotions are not confined to walls of flesh and blood.\!The Outer Limits
\#0
There is no sound, no voice, no cry in all the world that can be heard--unless someone listens.\!The Outer Limits
\#0
I don't have problems, I have money.\!Tiny Toons
\#0
It's been surreal!\!Tiny Toons
\#0
You free sometime next century? Say, eightish?\!Aladdin
\#0
I think we finally struck brain.\!Newhart
\#0
So you're charging twenty bucks for a potato placebo?\!Strange Luck
\#0
I never forget a face. But in your case I'll make an exception.\!Looney Tunes
\#0
Gal reminds me of the highway between Fort Worth and Dallas. No curves.\!Looney Tunes
\#0
Don't mess with the neon love chicken!\!Whose Line is It Anyway?
\#0
All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much MUCH thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have and which is mine, and what it is too.\!Monty Python
\#0
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!\!Monty Python
\#0
Is your wife interested in....photography, ay, he asked him knowingly? "Photography?" Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!\!Monty Python
\#0
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise ... surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons....\!Monty Python
\#0
Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!\!Monty Python
\#0
"SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!" Yes, but I came here for an argument!! "OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!"\!Monty Python
\#0
It's not much of a cheese shop, is it? "Finest in the district!" Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. "Well, it's so clean, sir!" It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....\!Monty Python
\#0
No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage! "The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead."\!Monty Python
\#0
'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!\!Monty Python
\#0
It's not a palindrome. The palindrome of Bolton would be Notlob. It don't work!\!Monty Python
\#0
Is this wretched demi-bee, Half-asleep upon my knee, Some freak from a menagerie? No! It's Eric the half a bee!\!Monty Python
\#0
"I don't have to do this job, you know!" What? "I'm a qualified brain surgeon; I only do this job because I like being me own boss!"\!Monty Python
\#0
And now for something completely different: a man with three buttocks.\!Monty Python
\#0
In the future, I suggest you replace "crunchy frog" with the legend "CRUNCHY, RAW, UNBONED, REAL DEAD FROG" if you want to avoid prosecution.\!Monty Python
\#0
Pointed sticks? Ho, ho, ho! We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh? Well, I'll tell you something my lad: when you're walkin' home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of logenberries, don't come cryin' to me!\!Monty Python
\#0
He doesn't know when he's beaten, this boy. He doesn't know when he's winning either. He doesn't have any sort of sensory apparatus known to man.\!Monty Python
\#0
I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats.\!Monty Python
\#0
"You got an alarm clock in there, sir?" No! No, heavens, no, no.. Just vests. "Sounded a bit like an alarm clock going off." Oh, it can't have been. It must have been a vest.. uh.. go-.. going off.\!Monty Python
\#0
In accordance with our principles of free enterprise and healthy competition, I'm going to ask you two to fight to the death for it.\!Monty Python
\#0
I haven't time to go chasing after him! There's violence to be done!\!Monty Python
\#0
My nipples explode with delight!\!Monty Python
\#0
Right. Who's got a boil on his semprini then?\!Monty Python
\#0
If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the aftershave.\!Monty Python
\#0
I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about, although it is EXTREMELY dangerous.\!Monty Python
\#0
Mr. Notlob, there's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong!\!Monty Python
\#0
Well, I noticed the lad with the thermonuclear device was the Chief Constable for the area.\!Monty Python
\#0
New "Shimmer" is a floor wax AND a dessert topping!\!Saturday Night Live
\#0
"The late Mr. Lupner was born without a spine." No wonder he has the posture of a boiled shrimp!\!Saturday Night Live
\#0
Mr. Canal, stop this instant! I must ask that you refrain from knife-fighting in the White House!\!Saturday Night Live
\#0
Why is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered in sores in a pool of their own filth? Oh well, the beat goes on.\!Saturday Night Live
\#0
Gregor Wass, your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation. Would you care to strike me?\!Saturday Night Live
\#0
Repeat after me: `I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.'\!Saturday Night Live
