{fb1000000man got drowned in the sudden flash-flooding While the lightning and thunder kept up their thudding Which kept me awake all the way through the night And I had a good time — yeah, that'll be right!
{fb1C00000World
{fb1000000A tiny speck of green and blue A massive world to me and you A dark backdrop of empty sky An azure blue to you and I Seems so huge, but yet so small Is but nowt, and yet holds all
Our point of view is thus distorted Our tiny minds are so contorted It's all blown up out of proportion Euthanasia, death, abortion Life is worthless, don't you know Three-score and ten, and then we go
Bye-bye.
Colin McEwan
{sdiv
An Advert for Lunchtime by D.H. Lawrence
{sbra
Eee bah gum, when deciding on how to approach this advert, our minds wandered (as they often do, wandering all the time, our minds are. Never at home. Sometimes they even go spelunking.) and our thoughts turned to that great masterwork of modern contemporary (i.e. pretentious and unpopular) literature, “A VOID” by George Perec. Although there aren’t many nude men wrestling in it, it is remarkable insofar as it doesn’t contain the letter ‘E’. So as a tribute to this great work we will write this advert without using the word Rhino.... Apart from just then, and once more in the next sentence.
And now, an advert for Lunchtime Magazine which does not contain the word “Rhino”:
Lunchtime Magazine Rhino. Oh, shit.
{slun
Inspired by an old crone who once said to me “Wrap up warm, stay away from loose women and don’t forget the rhino”. She was Czechoslovakian then and she’s Czechoslovakian now, and don’t let me hear you coming around here telling ME she does strange things with fishpaste and angel delight, cause I won’t believe you and try to flog you with an anchovy.
Gender Dysphoria aside, Lunchtime is a sort of magazine thingy which doesn’t really have anything much to say about anything (except how great Lord Grade and his Rhino is), it is written by eight or so people who certainly should know better at their rhino age, and rhino rhino rhino rhino.
Since we are all now lead euphonium players in Karl Marx’s Tijuana Brass (incorporating Lenin and his dance the whole night through go-go show band), all you have to do to get a copy of the mag is to send us (at the address below): 1 disc and a stamped addressed envelope and we will send you a copy of Lunchtime (state which issue, 1 to 5 or rhino). Also available on the Amiga, but you need to send 2 discs for the amiga version.
We should point out, however, that no rhinos were injured or mutilated horribly during the production of the magazine (except for two, which we used to produce a limited edition package called the "Lunchtime Make Your Widge Bigger Special Limited Edition").
Lunchtime is also available from most reputable PD outlets, and rather a large number of sleazy ones.
Coming eventually in 1995+ to a rhino near you will be Lunchtime VI : Attack of the 50ft Pygmy (incorporating “The Day the Dwarf Stood Still” and “When Midgets Collide”). It will be just the same as all the rest of the issues, really. We just alter a few words in the articles and put some different colours in the pictures and away we go.
Our address is :
The Lunchtime Rhino
203 London Road
Chesterton
Newcastle,
Staffs ST5 7HT
This line has been left intentionally blank.
So has this one.
{sdiv
The proprietors of Spectrum wish to announce that they are not responsible for anyone's behaviour after having read that. Rhino.
