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- {fon:hom00E000}
- Doughnuts
- {fon:tri}
-
- Cast of three (proprietor, customer and another customer).
-
- Prop. :And good afternoon to you to sir!
- Cust. :A pint of your creamiest foaming milk please Mr. Proprietor.
- :Sorry sir, just run out (inaccurate).
- :Hold on, I can see plenty of milk here, I just want one
- pint.
- :A pint of milk sir? perhaps you should have dained to make
- yourself a little clearer in the first place. If it's a pint of milk
- you're after...
- :...yes it is...
- :Then I would be willing to offer you this.
- :It's dead!
- :No sir, it's a mouse.
- :But, a dead mouse!
- :I don't see why you feel the need to fuss over every detail
- sir. I don't like complainers in my shop. Good afternoon sir.
- :I only want a bottle of milk!
- :I'm sorry?
- :milk!
- :I'm afraid you'll have to speak up sir, I'm colour blind in
- both ears, and I have forgotten my nasal spray.
- :Ah yes, I understand.
- :So what did you want sir?
- :Just the bottle of milk please.
- :One moment... so, 2 dozen eggs, 1 pound of bacon, 2 pounds
- of sausages and a tin of asparagus... that's £3.50 if you would!
- :A pint of milk!
- :Oh a pint of milk as well?
- :I don't want any of that, just my milk please!
- :Not exactly a decisive character are we sir? I don't like
- indecisive characters in my shop. Good afternoon sir.
-
- (another customer appears)
- :Pint of milk please squire!
- :No problem... 30 pence please sir. Good afternoon!
- :Here hold on a minute! How come he got his milk?
- :Ah, he was specific... I do like specific people in my
- shop. Anyway what colour shoe polish were you after then sir?
- :Milk please... a bottle!
- :I don't know what sort of establishment you think this is
- sir! We certainly do not stock those sorts of materials here!
- However I would be willing to offer you something of equal quality
- and value.
- :Such as...
- :We have some rodents at an excellent price.
- :Right! I'm going!
- :A little upset are we sir? I don't like upset people in my
- shop.
- :I only came in for a bloody pint of milk!
- :A pint of milk sir? you don't want a greengrocer for that!
- You want the library. First on your left on the way out.
- :I've had enough of you (draws gun).
- :I hope you have a licence for that gun sir, I don't like to
- see unlicensed guns in my shop.
- (strobe lighting while a chase goes on)
- (eventually prop. gets shot, then normal lighting)
- :It looks like it's going to be custard tonight.
-
- The cast of three now say "doughnuts?" in a particularly pointless
- manner for about 15 seconds then blackout please.
-
- {spr:l01}
- {end}
-