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- From: julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright)
- Subject: Re: Flirting How To Guide
- In-Reply-To: stef@Apple.COM's message of 20 Jan 93 23:57:36 GMT
- Message-ID: <JULIE.93Jan24173619@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu>
- Sender: julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright)
- Organization: The Cultural Elite
- References: <MARTINC.93Jan19105513@grover.cs.unc.edu> <1993Jan19.192345.5223@netcom.com>
- <JULIE.93Jan19190642@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu> <77138@apple.apple.COM>
- Distribution: soc
- Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 22:36:19 GMT
- Lines: 62
-
- In article <77138@apple.apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
-
- >julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:
-
- >>aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
- >>>The simplest way I've found is to use non-agressive physical contact,
- >>>back rubs, neck rubs -- and, most importantly, RUB HER FEET!
-
- >>This sounds like a pretty good suggestion, but it has one disadvantage:
- >>it's not quite balanced or mutual.
-
- >Why not? All you have to do is stop him after a little while and say "Your
- >turn," and then give him whatever kind of rub you feel comfortable giving.
-
- But I'm impatient :) .
-
- >>I agree about the non-aggressive physical contact, but I think it would
- >>be better to do something that allows her to give you more physical
- >>feedback about how she is feeling about you and the situation.
-
- >It is easy to give feedback when you are being rubbed.
-
- Yeah, OK. As I said in following up Seth's post, it's probably just me.
- I don't find that the feedback I give from a rub is a very reliable guide
- to how I feel about the other person physically. I am more likely to
- want a rub if I'm feeling blah and worn out, and I'm very unlikely to
- feel that way with a new person whose company I'm enjoying. I'm perfectly
- willing to believe I'm atypical in this way.
-
- >>[somewhat inadequate attempt to describe handholding language]
-
- >Ick. I always hated the part of my high-school dating experience that involved
- >micro-focusing on hand positions. [...]
-
- >I guess that's partly why I began making the first move in no uncertain
- >terms, because little games like that have always made me tense and
- >uncomfortable.
-
- *ouch* *ouch* *ouch* *ouch* *ouch*
-
- OK, now that we've established that I'm an adolescent game-player... :)
-
- To each her own. I kind of like little games. Not the dishonest kind,
- but the kind where, for a little while, no one's _quite_ _positive_ that
- something's going to happen. Tense, yes; uncomfortable, no. It gets
- you all keyed up for the next stage.
-
- But as for hand-holding vs. backrubs vs. whatever, perhaps everyone needs
- to pick the thing they feel communicates their mood the best, which is
- probably the thing they enjoy the most. Also, I forgot to say in my
- original post that talking is at least as important as the physical stuff
- at the beginning, in my experience. Get a few good innuendos flying and
- if she answers with some of her own, you'll both be having a great time.
-
- Charlie, where are you? Is this the sort of thing you were looking for
- or not?
-
- ---Julie
- --
- * here you come again/ arms across a broken heart/ you want me to be free/
- * i know what you mean/ but i am waiting for/ somebody to pull through
- * for me/ somebody's gonna have to be me ---- The Roches
-