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- Newsgroups: soc.motss
- Path: sparky!uunet!usc!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!emory!athena!heath
- From: heath@athena.cs.uga.edu (Terrance Heath)
- Subject: Re: race based fetishes
- Message-ID: <C16DMK.3s@athena.cs.uga.edu>
- Organization: University of Georgia, Athens
- References: <1993Jan11.144937.18062@ultb.isc.rit.edu> <C0up9o.B79@athena.cs.uga.edu> <18394@autodesk.COM>
- Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1993 23:08:43 GMT
- Lines: 87
-
- In article <18394@autodesk.COM> randyc@Autodesk.COM (Randy Clark) writes:
- >
- >In article <C0up9o.B79@athena.cs.uga.edu> heath@athena.cs.uga.edu
- >(Terrance Heath) writes:
- >> I've had some experience being on both sides of the
- >>race-fetish issue, sort of. It's an unsettling thing to lie in bed
- >>with a man who looks at one's penis and says "I guess its true what
- >>they say about black men", [...]
- >
- > I think you just violated the Squirrel Rule
- > about self revelations in this newsgroup. :-)
-
- Squirrel Rule? Never heard of it, but I can guess what it
- might entail, given what I said above (quite without realizing it, I
- might add.).
-
- > But on the serious side of what you're saying,
- > I can well imagine the awkwardness, difficulty,
- > and even degrading aspect of these situations.
- > No one should have to go through them, but of
- > course they do happen.
- >
- > I have no general, all-purpose solutions.
- > I wish someone did.
-
- Well, if I come up with any, first I'll write a book and go on
- the talk-show circuit and make millions. Then....
-
- >> The whole mess had made me more and more suspicious of some
- >>white gay men, particularly those who display an interest in me,
- >>because I've no real way of knowing what there interests really are.
- >
- > Once burned ...
- > Whether it's racism or just
- > general manipulation/objectification, I'm at a
- > point right now where, like you, I'm generally
- > suspicious of displays of interest, unless the
- > person in question is already someone I know
- > (and like). I wish it weren't that way
- >
- > What I'm trying to say here, I guess, is that your
- > experience generalizes beyond the race question in
- > some ways.
-
- I suppose it does. It reminds me of something someone posted
- about relationships between hearing persons and deaf persons.
-
- >>Even if its someone I've known for a while, I've discovered that its
- >>easy to know a person for a while and not know just how racist they
- >>are deep down.
- >
-
- >> Anyway, this is probably one of the things that frustrates me
- >>most about the gay male community, particularly here in the south
- >>where most of our southern belles are deathly allergic to chocolate,
- >>and most gay men of color aren't merely closeted, they're in the
- >>shoeox under the floorboards in the closet.
- >
- > What a turn of phrase! I got a (sad) chuckle out
- > of this.
-
- YOU got a sad chuckle out of it? C'mere and let me tell you
- about a sad chuckle.
-
- >>After a while, it makes a
- >>lot more sense to just take the phone off the hook, lock the door,
- >>stay home and watch television.
- >
- > Sigh. I know the feeling. Well, I haven't quite
- > given up yet; I hope you haven't either.
- >
-
-
- Admittedly, when I wrote that last part I was indulging in
- feeling quite sorry for myself. Anyway, I have about given up on
- finding a relationship in this town. HOwever, I may have to learn to
- live with it, since its likely to be another year or so before I can
- afford to move, and I've already been here six years. Ugh. Perhaps a
- larger city will at least provide greater chances, etc. I dunno.
-
-
-
- --
- "Black men loving black men is THE revolutionary act!"
- -Joseph Beam_
- Terrance Heath
- heath@athena.cs.uga.edu
-