NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/soc/motss/57724

Text File | 1993-01-21 | 3.5 KB | 98 lines

Newsgroups: soc.motss
Path: sparky!uunet!usc!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!emory!athena!heath
From: [e-mail] (Terrance Heath)
Subject: Re: race based fetishes
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1993 23:08:43 GMT
Lines: 87

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Randy Clark) writes:
>
>In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail]
>(Terrance Heath) writes:
>>    I've had some experience being on both sides of the
>>race-fetish issue, sort of.  It's an unsettling thing to lie in bed
>>with a man who looks at one's penis and says "I guess its true what
>>they say about black men", [...]
>
>    I think you just violated the Squirrel Rule
>    about self revelations in this newsgroup.  :-)

    Squirrel Rule? Never heard of it, but I can guess what it
might entail, given what I said above (quite without realizing it, I
might add.).

>    But on the serious side of what you're saying,
>    I can well imagine the awkwardness, difficulty,
>    and even degrading aspect of these situations.
>    No one should have to go through them, but of
>    course they do happen.
>
>    I have no general, all-purpose solutions.
>    I wish someone did.

    Well, if I come up with any, first I'll write a book and go on
the talk-show circuit and make millions.  Then....

>>    The whole mess had made me more and more suspicious of some
>>white gay men, particularly those who display an interest in me,
>>because I've no real way of knowing what there interests really are.
>
>    Once burned ...
>    Whether it's racism or just
>    general manipulation/objectification, I'm at a
>    point right now where, like you, I'm generally
>    suspicious of displays of interest, unless the
>    person in question is already someone I know
>    (and like).  I wish it weren't that way
>
>    What I'm trying to say here, I guess, is that your
>    experience generalizes beyond the race question in
>    some ways.

    I suppose it does.  It reminds me of something someone posted
about relationships between hearing persons and deaf persons.

>>Even if its someone I've known for a while, I've discovered that its
>>easy to know a person for a while and not know just how racist they
>>are deep down.
>

>>    Anyway, this is probably one of the things that frustrates me
>>most about the gay male community, particularly here in the south
>>where most of our southern belles are deathly allergic to chocolate,
>>and most gay men of color aren't merely closeted, they're in the
>>shoeox under the floorboards in the closet.
>
>    What a turn of phrase!  I got a (sad) chuckle out
>    of this.

    YOU got a sad chuckle out of it?  C'mere and let me tell you
about a sad chuckle.

>>After a while, it makes a
>>lot more sense to just take the phone off the hook, lock the door,
>>stay home and watch television.
>
>    Sigh.  I know the feeling.  Well, I haven't quite
>    given up yet; I hope you haven't either.
>


    Admittedly, when I wrote that last part I was indulging in
feeling quite sorry for myself. Anyway, I have about given up on
finding a relationship in this town. HOwever, I may have to learn to
live with it, since its likely to be another year or so before I can
afford to move, and I've already been here six years. Ugh. Perhaps a
larger city will at least provide greater chances, etc. I dunno.



--
"Black men loving black men is THE revolutionary act!"
            -Joseph Beam_
Terrance Heath
[e-mail]