NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/misc/kids/33231

Internet Message Format | 1993-01-23 | 6.1 KB

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Path: sparky!uunet!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!orchard.la.locus.com!prodnet.la.locus.com!judy
From: [e-mail] (Judy Tryer)
Subject: Re: Is There A Mommy Track for Technical Professionals?
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California
References: <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 93 03:36:24 GMT
Lines: 104

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] writes:
>
>It seems as if a part-time career is non-existent in software engineering
>and in professional/technical jobs in general.  It's looked down upon,
>because you can't put in those long hours on the big projects.  I'm
>willing to take a salary hit (i.e. less than half-time pay for half-time
>work) but being cheap doesn't seem to help my cause either.

Ahh, but try flex time, working at home, and telecommuting.  All three can
give you that "part time" work feeling while allowing you to keep that
full time job.  I know that this has been the best thing possible for me,
so much so that I am trying to get more flex-time and work at home time in
my current schedule.  I miss it a LOT (unfortunately, my current boss is less
than enamored with me being out of the office as much as I'd like).
>
>I am torn.  On one hand, I've got lots of time invested in an education
>and a career.  On the other, these first precious months of my baby's
>life will never come again.  My husband's job pays twice what mine does,
>although my salary is substantial; we both feel it is best for him to
>continue to work full-time because of this.  Yet I do not feel our
>family can juggle two full-time technical careers and still do justice
>to our family.  Working part-time would allow me to stay 'current'
>until my child enters preschool, at which point I'd return full-time.
>

I know JUST how you feel.

>I do not want to start a discussion about WHETHER OR NOT parents
>should stay home or reduce hours to spend time with their infants.
>Every individual has different values and energy levels.  Instead,
>I would like to discuss the concept of the parent track:  not whether
>it is a good idea, but how it could be accomplished for those who
>wish to choose this path.  I am also for males who wish to choose
>a part-time option.  It's just in our family, like so many others,
>we've chosen for my husband to continue his career.
>

Here is what I have done since my son was born.  Immediately upon returning
to work, I worked half days in the office and half days at home.  Since a
great deal of my job required working over the weekends, this worked great
since I was always available on Friday nights and could do that work at home.
I also took a "grunt" project, which helped.  No one else wanted the job,
I was doing it really REALLY well, and so they let me do it on my terms.

Then a bit later it appeared our company needed some senior technical
support on the weekends.  So I volunteered to cover 2 12 hour shifts on
Sat. and Sun. in exchange for an extra day off.  My hours were then F, S, S, M
with T, W, TH off.  This was slightly inconvenient for work, but since I was
carrying the entire load on the weekends, they didn't mind.

Later I had to work a lot of overtime for a critical prototype.  So I
chose the 2PM to 4AM shift (not all those hours, every night, but plenty
of them).  That way I was up around 10 and played with the kids until I went
to work.  I was exhausted by the time I got home and just fell into bed, but
I got a whole lot of time with the kids.

Now I work at home whenever it is convenient and also work some later hours.
Our biggest problem is this morning school thing.  I detest having to be up
and have not only myself pulled together, but my son as well and have him
at school at 9 AM.  We never make it until about 9:15, but the school doesn't
care and Mitchell likes getting there late (my sincerest thanks to President
Clinton for making tardiness fashionable).

In all this time I have had lots of threats regarding my career.  When I
was pregnant with Erin I was offerred a promotion if I would only take a
single month off for maternity leave.  I suggested that "If this is the last
promotion that you are willing to offer me, I don't have much of a career
here anyway.  I'm taking four months off."

I currently get into a hassle over my unwillingness to travel more than two
nights consecutively away from home, and hopefully no more than one trip
every quarter.  My last review claimed this would eventually interfere with
my career.  And it will, eventually.  But I'm not ready yet for that career,
I have a lot left to learn and by the time I'm ready, I'll be ready to travel.

So, in all this hassle I have yet to have a review that was less than stellar,
I have consistently gotten the maximum raise available each year, and my
career is soaring.  I am respected because I state right away my priorities
and limitations and don't renege from them.  And because my children are a
high priority and I keep them there, I am able to spend enough time with them
that I don't feel like I am a part time mother.  I could spend a lot more time
with them and still be happy, but I think I've done as much as I can with
the compromises available and they are being well cared for by their Dad.

So, my conclusion from my own experience is that the Mommy track is a gambit
of guilt that business will try to lay on your head to make you feel that you
are somehow less valuable a player to the company if you want to spend time
with your chidlren.  But, if pushed, most employers would rather keep a good
mom happy and functioning than antagonize her.  And so if you state your
priorities and are honest about it, the worst you'll get is a few guilt trips
and a minor hassle now and then.  The best you can get is the best of both
worlds.  I've been lucky, and worked damn hard for every piece of that luck ;-)

>Thanks,
>
>A Mommy seeking a balance

One who sometimes has one but would like it to be easier than it is.


--
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"    - William Blake