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- Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!ub!acsu.buffalo.edu!ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu!oispeggy
- From: oispeggy@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (Peggy Brown)
- Newsgroups: misc.kids
- Subject: Re: pre-teen sex play
- Message-ID: <C17wCC.66t@acsu.buffalo.edu>
- Date: 21 Jan 93 18:52:00 GMT
- References: <4570318@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com> <C17M0G.1AAv@austin.ibm.com>
- Sender: nntp@acsu.buffalo.edu
- Organization: University at Buffalo
- Lines: 43
- News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41
- Nntp-Posting-Host: ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu
-
- In article <C17M0G.1AAv@austin.ibm.com>, jlpicard@austin.ibm.com writes...
- >
- >janem@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com (Jane Marcus) writes:
- >
- >While I can understand your concern about AIDS and all, I don't
- >think this is particularly good advice. The boys in the original
- >post were, what, 11 years old? And while you could argue that kids
- >are having sex earlier&earlier, I would counter-argue that telling
- >an 11 year old boy's mother that you saw him engaged in sexplay with
- >one of his male friends would be _A LOT_ more harmful than helpful...
-
- >(even now, at my advanced
- >age of 33, I'm mortified to think of how my mom would have reacted
- >if I'd been caught; probably would have warped me for life).
- >
- >Perhaps a "stealthy" approach would do the most good: instead of
- >"You know, I saw your son engaged in mutual masturbation with his
- >friend William", how about "You know, your son's 11 years old now...
- >I read something somewhere about how that's about when boys start
- >discovering their sexuality etc. With AIDS and all, maybe you and
- >his father should consider having "a little talk" with him about
- >sex."
-
- I agree with both of you.
-
- I think the "stealthy" approach is preferable. No matter how open
- the relationship is between parent and child, discussing theoretical
- matters with a parent is much different than discussing intimate
- details.
-
- I also think that parents often don't deal well with their child's
- sexuality and kids can get into some big trouble due to ignorance
- about sex. (Now, with Aids, the stakes are even higher.)
-
- As an example of this, I knew a 10 year old girl (a friend of my
- younger sister) who had sex with an 11 year friend of her cousin.
- The girl, her cousin and his friend had a sleepover party at her
- grandmothers, with sleeping bags in the living room. The girl
- told me all about it, since I was a "big kid" of 13 and knew
- everything. She was very confused and I don't think she realized
- exactly what she had done.
-
- - Peggy -
-