NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/misc/kids/33047

Text File | 1993-01-21 | 2.6 KB | 52 lines

Newsgroups: misc.kids
Path: sparky!uunet!gatech!destroyer!cs.ubc.ca!uw-beaver!news.u.washington.edu!henson!reed!cconell
From: [e-mail] (Carol Conell)
Subject: Re: Helping a sensitive child
Keywords: kindergarten, adjusting to public school
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Organization: Reed College, Portland, OR
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 06:17:25 GMT
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Lines: 40

We experienced a lot of problems when my older daughter started
kindergarten that seemed to resemble those you described.  There were
several "rough" boys--according to my daughter, and the teacher
terrified Jessamyn by yelling at them.

The bad news is that the problems described by your son are probably
not wildly inaccurate.  The good news is that, at least if my daugher
and her friends are typical, by the end of the year and certainly
within a year or two, your son will have learned to take them in stride.
One year (2d) my daughter was lucky enough to have a very unrough
classroom and she adored it--it was also much smaller (23-24) students
than usual--she had 32 in k, maybe 29 1st and now has 31 in 3.  However,
rough kids, although still reported occasionally, are now a fact of life,
largely taken in stride.

Also--the inability to tell the teacher is simply something you should
probably accept--Why not offer to talk to the teacher on your son's
behalf and then report back to him about what she/he says.  Even in
3d grade, my daughter--who is quite well developed, often prefers
to have me speak to the teacher and is, according to the teacher,
"very quiet" in class.  Having spoken to my friends, I've realized
that many of the better students are--after all this is what you
and I would be in a situation where 1 person has to field problems
from 2 or 3 dozen.  It's the appropriate response, in many ways.
My philosophy, for what it's worth, is to speak on their behalf as
long as they want, although it sometimes surprises me that this is
still needed.  More generally, I think it's better to "let them leave
us, don't leave them."  In other words, provided that they're away
from home in school all day, you don't need to worry about encouraging them
to leave babyish, soft, etc. ways, behind; they will all to soon.
Let us know how it goes.

p.s.  The one caveat is that occasionally boys (I know of several cases
but none with girls) are actively picked on by other, rougher boys--
if that happens you should get advice, because it can become a terrible
problem.  Good luck! Carol


--
Carol Conell; Sociology; Reed College; Portland, OR 97202 [phone]