NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/bit/listserv/wordsl/53541

Text File | 1993-01-23 | 1.9 KB | 41 lines

Comments: Gated by [e-mail]
Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!auvm!MHWPA.ATT.COM!KTW
Original-From: Ken Wolman <mhwpa!ktw>
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Date:         Sat, 23 Jan 1993 12:06:07 EST
Sender:       English Language Discussion Group <[e-mail]>
From:         [e-mail]
Subject:      Ah, the pleasures of Coffee!
In-Reply-To:  <no.id>; from "uga.cc.uga.edu!WORDS-L" at Jan 23, 93 10:57 am
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> THE NEW DRINK, COFFEE, FIRST OFFERED IN ENGLAND BY PASQUA ROSEE
> 1652
............
> exceedingly, and is therefore good against the headache... It is
> excellent to prevent and cure the dropsy, gout, and scurvy. It is
> known by experience to be better than any other drying drink for
> people in years, or children... It will prevent drowsiness, and
> make one fit for business, if one have occasion to watch, and
> therefore you are not to drink of it after supper, unless you
> intend to be watchful, for it will hinder sleep.

Taken in great quantities, as a restorative against which even the
lingering embraces of Sleep cannot prevail, Coffee turns the imbiber
into a talkative and wired being incapable of silences, and moreover
allowing him to imitate the action of the fly who climbs the wall at
great speed and in disregard for his own safety.  Said imbiber of
Coffee may discover to his chagrin that he pisses his sorry brains
from out his body; and his associates in the practice of his daily
commerce may seek him, if not to be found at his lodgings or his
accustomed desk, in the jaques, where he spends great amounts of
precious time relieving himself.  The true devotee of this potation
called Coffee may be discerned by his accustomed saying when asked
about his level of indulgence: "If there be no cup or suitable chalice
available, I will open a vein in my arm, and you may pour the drink
therein."

Ken