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- Newsgroups: alt.romance
- Path: sparky!uunet!usc!rpi!petitc
- From: petitc@vccnw01.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
- Subject: Re: A kiss should never be given as a duty.
- Message-ID: <ddn3+_g@rpi.edu>
- Nntp-Posting-Host: vccnw01.its.rpi.edu
- References: <C1Do76.B77@news.cso.uiuc.edu> <q_n3h0b@rpi.edu> <C1E0JI.Msp@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>
- Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 04:32:33 GMT
- Lines: 46
-
- alex@mentor.cc.purdue.edu ( ) writes:
-
- >To decide what is and is not for "a few close friends" seems to be the
- >bane of a college student's existence. While being in college, I have
- >had occaision to offer a backrub/massage or even a friendly hug
- >every once in a while, yet never did so for fear of the possible
- >damage such an offer might do to a friendship. The words "You need
- >a hug" that were often said by a very good friend of mine often
- >rang very true, but only the words were only said, and never was the hug
- >actually given.
-
- It's not just you---everyone needs a good hug.
-
- > I can agree that kissing is for the one you are in a
- >relationship with. (I, personally, have gotten sick of the
- >abbreviation SO.) Cuddling tooo, for me at any rate, is reserved for
- >those you are already involved with in a more-than-friends manner,
- >or those with whom you wish to be involved. However, massages, for me
- >at least, should be something given when they are needed. I don't
- >mean the "clothes off/ covered by only a towel" type of massages, but
- >a gentle (or firm) backrub or neck rub to release the built up
- >tension that college live ineveitably incurrs. I do think that a
- >certain degree of intimacy and trust is necessary for this, as well
- >as clearly defined intentions. Something as sensual as a backrub
- >could, and probably has, given way to something much more intimate,
- >and a lot less innocent.
-
- Yes. I'd say that simple touching, if done right (I'm talking about
- non-sexual touching) can be truly powerful. Just imagine how you'd feel if
- the person you were (or would like to be) dating just held your hand, and
- slowly rubbed your fingers in his/hers.
-
- > All in all it depends on the people involved. I tend to need
- >to be fairly close to someone before I will even attempt to touch them
- >beyond a friendly pat on the back/shoulder. Even this has been
- >misinterpreted at times. So, I wait for people to open up to me,
- >instead of my going to them. It saves a lot of pain and
- >misunderstanding in the long run.
-
- It does. But, if you keep things clear, and your intents well-marked,
- there's nothing wrong with plenty of *BIG HUGS* from people. :&)
- --
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