NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/alt/romance/16328

Internet Message Format | 1993-01-23 | 3.6 KB

Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!pacific.mps.ohio-state.edu!ohstpy!miavx1!miamiu!mc90sanu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Girls can be confusing...
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
From: Donny <[e-mail]>
Date: Friday, 22 Jan 1993 09:03:08 EST
Organization: Miami University - Academic Computer Service
Lines: 55

Hm, girls never cease to amaze me with their head-spinning tactics.
Although, sometimes I'm not sure that they do it purposely.
Maybe I am way off base here... but, let me explain.

   I met a great girl a few weekends ago named, er, Jane.  I was really
attracted towards her, and she must have been towards me, bec we casually
flirted.  We went uptown, and were dancing very close, and by the end of the
night we had kissed several times.  The next night, I was over at her
apartment, where they were having a 'little get-together' -- okay, it was
a party.  She surrounded herself with all the guys there, ignoring me
for the most part.  She ended up with some other guy, who spent the night
there.  I guess you could say I was a little disappointed to say the
least.  But her roommate tells me that Jane sees this guy quite a little
bit.  She also tells me to just play it cool, bec all Jane wants to do
"is have fun" with me, and "have fun" in general.
  Okay, I guess you could say I am a relationship-type of guy.
I really like this girl a lot.  But when I am with her, sometimes it seems
as though we are just friends "having fun."  Obviously, there is still
attraction between us, but I am unsure as to how she feels towards me
after she did the switching-guys-trick right in front of me.  So, I feel
as though she views me in a lighter sense than I had previously thought,
resulting in not much happening.  I dunno.  She also recently broke up with her
last boyfriend, who she still talks to, but says she hates, which makes it
clear in my mind she still likes him.  Plus, she is seeing the other
guy right now.  Her roommate says Jane doesn't want a relationship
("just have fun" remember) and if I tried to get serious with her
(whatever that meant) it would "scare her away."
  Well, this weekend Jane and her roommate (whom I went to HS school with
-- how convienient, huh?) are going back to my home-town, and they
offered to take me back.  Well, obviously I jumped on the chance to get
closer to Jane, and accepted.   We are all supposed to do something
Saturday night.
  Here is my problem:  I can't "just have fun" with Jane too much longer
without getting attached (this happens quickly to me) and wanting a
relationship.  I am afraid to confront her and ask her how she feels
about me and all this, for fear of "scaring her away."  I think my
just getting out of a long-term realtionship makes me paranoid about
everything or something.
  If anyone could offer advice on how to confront her on this, without
sounding too serious, or offer a better solution, I would be very
appreciative.   This whole "have fun", skipping from guy to guy, even
while *I* am there kinda makes me wonder why I pursue this girl.
Am I getting old-fashioned with the relationship/romance thing?
Should I just be "having fun" and seeing other people, even though I'd
rather concentrate on just her?

  Well, reading over this, I am regretting posting it now, for all the
flames I'll prolly get, but, hey, I'll listen to what anyone has to say!

_Matt_
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Matt Creager                      |  "Who dare nothing, need hope
[e-mail]    |   for nothing."
                                  |
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