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- From: doug@crevasse.ATMOS.ColoState.Edu (Doug Cripe)
- Subject: Re: Attn: Women, is the sensisitve guy good?
- Sender: news@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU (News Account)
- Message-ID: <Jan27.193538.33321@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>
- Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 19:35:38 GMT
- References: <lynx.3hsc@terapin.com>
- Nntp-Posting-Host: crevasse.atmos.colostate.edu
- Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO 80523
- Lines: 35
-
- I'm afraid I have to concur with Mark's conclusion that women don't like
- the sensitive guy. Two reasons for this:
-
- 1) I recently read a newspaper column in the Rocky Mountain News in which
- a guy asked the same sort of question. He said something along the lines
- of, "I don't understand it. I try to listen to the women friends I have,
- sympathize with their problems, care about their feelings, and then some
- jerk comes along and steals them away with one dinner out. They consider
- me a good friend, but it never seems to go any further than that." A
- woman responded by saying, "It probably is because, in general, women like
- to have projects. If a guy is more or less without glaring faults, then
- they lose interest because there's nothing to perfect in him. Moreover, a
- guy like that doesn't appear to need women, because he seems
- self-sufficient and as a consequence they don't see how they could
- contribute much to the relationship."
-
- 2) Personal experience. I have had many women friends who, seemingly,
- sincerely appreciate my friendship and capacity to listen to them. I
- would qualify myself as fairly sensitive, but it's not at all an act-
- it's just the way I am (everyone in my immediate family is that way).
- I've had many friends (guys and women) tell me I'm a good listener.
- However, as the friendship progressed, I don't know how many times I've
- completely misread signals coming from the woman. I thought there was
- potentially more interest there than just friends, only to find that they
- appreciated the shoulder to cry on, but nothing more. I spoke about this
- with a friend of mine, and she said she thinks it's true...she likes to
- date guys who are "so bad for her."
-
- Jackson Browne summed it up well in a song a few years ago.
- "All the times that I've been burned,
- by now you think I'd have learned,
- That it's who you look like,
- Not who you are."
-
- Any comments?
-