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- From: smithrud@advtech.uswest.com ()
- Subject: Re: Attn: Women, is the sensisitve guy good?
- Message-ID: <1993Jan22.002231.26227@advtech.uswest.com>
- Sender: news@advtech.uswest.com (Radio Free Boulder)
- Nntp-Posting-Host: screamer.advtech.uswest.com
- Organization: U S WEST Advanced Technologies
- References: <21JAN93.16963161.0112@UNBVM1.CSD.UNB.CA>
- Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 00:22:31 GMT
- Lines: 68
-
-
- In article <21JAN93.16963161.0112@UNBVM1.CSD.UNB.CA> I4CN <I4CN@UNB.CA> writes:
- >
- > Hello out there in Netland,
- >
- >
- > I have done alot of serious thinking latley, and I have come
- >to the conclusion that women don't like the 'sensitive' type guy.
- >I know this contridicts all current liturature, saying that the 90's
- >man can be sensitive, but my friends tell me that I am the most
- >sensitive guy they know, and well, potential dates seem to flocking to
- >guys that either ignore them or treat them like a piece of meat.
- >I am not grotesque looking, don't smell, but am extemley shy. I am
- >also a 20 year old virign, but would like to lose this title in
- >a meaningful relationship... so ladies.. tell me... should I change
- >to be un-caring brute, or stay the same? Replies appreaciated,
- > Mark
- >
-
- Mark, why are you asking other people if _YOU_ should change?
- I have a feeling that most, if not all, of the replies that you
- will get from women on the net to your post will be ones that will
- tell you that you should not drop sensitivity just because you
- see the dates going to the what appear to be the "uncaring brutes."
- (This isn't always the case -- a lot of sensitive men get plenty
- of dates, but I'll stick to what many people do believe is out
- there, namely the situation you're talking about.)
-
- I think you should make whatever changes in your personality that
- YOU want to make. I don't think "uncaring brutes" became those
- types because someone suggested it to them or that sensitive types
- are exactly that because someone told them it was the 90's thing to
- do. I think you should be whatever you feel comfortable being.
-
- I also want to say that the reason I used "appear" in the first paragraph
- above when I said "appear to be uncaring brutes" is because I think
- some of those who come off looking that way aren't devoid of sensitivity.
- I have gone out with a few people who did seem to fit the "uncaring
- brute" description outwardly, but when we got past that appearance
- that was often put up for a variety of reasons (peers, insecurities,
- whatever), there was some sensitivity underneath all that and a
- lot of other nice qualities. It was that which kept me seeing a
- person and not what he felt he had to project to others on the outside.
- Take that and twist it around now and you have to wonder how many
- people also put on a "sensitivity act" just to fit someone else's
- idea of an appealing quality. Hmm...
-
- Good luck,
-
- Cari
- (smithrud@ucsu.colorado.edu)
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