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- From: ALI00BAW@UNCCVM.UNCC.EDU
- Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
- Subject: Re: My daughter needs to be more assertive (II)
- Message-ID: <16B5D102FE.ALI00BAW@UNCCVM.UNCC.EDU>
- Date: 21 Jan 93 23:24:57 GMT
- References: <1993Jan18.090651.628@news.wesleyan.edu> <1993Jan20.201519.640@news.wesleyan.edu> <dlhanson.33.727635371@nap.amoco.com>
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- In article <dlhanson.33.727635371@nap.amoco.com>
- dlhanson@nap.amoco.com (David L. Hanson) writes:
-
- >
- >In article <1993Jan20.201519.640@news.wesleyan.edu> RGINZBERG@eagle.wesleyan.edu (Ruth Ginzberg) writes:
- >
- >>
- >>Rachel's goal in life is total self-abnegation. She wants to be a housewife,
- >>because she thinks that's the most "selfless" thing she could do. This is in
- >... [much deleted]
- >>She wants to be a housewife.
- >>She wants to be the one who's always at home, always giving of herself to
- >>everyone else and never considering her own needs. Never even HAVING any
- >>of her own needs, if she had her preference. Totally "at others'
- >>service" (husband,children, neighborhood children, & God -- she's very
- >>into Turning Herself Over to God's Will, being God's servant, etc.).
- >>
- >
- >Bravo, cheers for this young lady! A woman who desires to stay at home
- >and do the most important work in the world (nurture and care for a family)
- >is hard to find in this generation.
- >
- >I often read Proverbs 31:10-31 to my sons (ages 10 and 12) to show them
- >the womanly qualities that God wants their wives to have.
- >
- >Here are verses 10-15:
- >
- >"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."
- >"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
- >"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
- >"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands."
- >"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar."
- >"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and
- >portions for her servant girls."
- >
- >And verses 28-29:
- >
- >"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises
- >her:"
- >"Many women do noble things but you surpass them all."
- >
- >We contrast that to the wife described in Proverbs Chapter 6.
- >
- >Proverbs 6:11 "(She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home;
- >now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)"
- >
- >Signature follows:
- >"Jesus saith unto him, I am THE way, THE truth, and THE life: NO MAN
- >cometh unto the Father, BUT BY ME" John 14:6
- >=========================================================================
- >David L. Hanson Internet --> dlhanson@nap.amoco.com
- >Amoco Corporation X.400 --> A=attmail,P=amoco,S=Hanson,G=David,I=L
- >Any opinions expressed are my own!
- Read it again. The wife in Proverbs is a successful businesswoman.
-
- There is nothing wrong, however, with a woman--or a man, for that matter--
- wanting to be a nuturer. HOWEVER, particularly in the woman's case, on
- the basis of statistics alone she is likely to be left a widow, and
- given the way society is now going, she might be abandoned/divorced.
- (After all, in this case the girl's father did it to her mother, and
- do not young women tend to be attracted to men who remind them of their
- fathers? [And men their mothers, for that matter.]) If she has no
- education or training or marketable skills, what is she to do if she
- is left alone to take care of not only herself but any prospective
- children?
-
- All that being said, I do agree that the mother here, with the best
- intent in the world, IS pushing a little too hard. There might be
- some basis for compromise. Perhaps if the girl hears some advice
- about her future coming from someone else, e.g. a teacher, a
- guidance counseler, a pastor she might be willing to listen more
- to such a person EVEN IF THE ADVICE IS THE SAME AS WHAT THE MOTHER
- IS SAYING.
-