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- Newsgroups: soc.bi
- Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!linac!att!mcdchg!laidbak!tellab5!vpnet!orc
- From: orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons)
- Subject: Re: A hug request and a general growl at the world
- Message-ID: <1993Jan6.172324.4416@vpnet.chi.il.us>
- Summary: label madness
- Organization: Department of Atomic Text Units
- References: <1idgfrINNelk@agate.berkeley.edu> <1993Jan6.054813.19378@udel.edu> <C0F82s.MnG@news.udel.edu>
- Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 17:23:24 GMT
- Lines: 57
-
- In article <C0F82s.MnG@news.udel.edu> seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore) writes:
- |I like the label of bisexuality because to me it represents the
- |closest position to the rejection of artificial distinctions as I can get.
- |But yet with it I can still find an identity and a community. I think that
- |the labels of het, gay, bi and such are intrinsically false and that they
- |needn't exist if the above conditions prevailed.
-
- They describe behavior and/or orientation, and thus are
- perfectly accurate. They may not be very precise; bisexual applies
- to me, a Kinsey 1/4(*), just as it would describe a Kinsey 3/3 or a
- Kinsey 5/5. Use it as a part of a winnowing process to describe
- someone - it helps resolve your image of that person.
-
- (* theoretical Kinsey 1, experimental Kinsey 4)
-
- If you don't use the labels het, gay, or bi, what then will be
- used? It's a wonderful shorthand, so we don't have to spend all day
- describing ourselves. Take a look at this description of myself,
- with the common labels and without:
-
- [Labels] Orc: a promiscuous bisexual bottom
- [Without] Orc: I sleep around, a lot, almost exclusively with
- friends <pickups and casual flings are okay, but
- dangerous emotionally, and I don't do them if my brain
- is working>, and most of them at long distances from
- where I live. I am mainly sexually and emotionally
- attracted to women, sometimes more than I'd like to be,
- but I do respond quite well sexually to men, and very
- rarely emotionally. I'm into pain, but only when it's
- inflicted in a sexual situation, and only when it's
- inflicted by the person topping me <this means no
- whips, clamps, and all those other fun things that seem
- to be part and parcel of Classic S&M (tm)> and I don't
- do submission, and fight like mad when I'm tied down.
-
- The second description is a better one, by a long shot. But
- it takes 15 minutes to relate. I can casually describe myself with
- the labels very quickly, and then relate the gory details at my
- leisure. (In this context, not wishing to use labels is a way of
- labelling yourself; as what, I'll leave up to you, but not in
- casual discussion because I'd like to get some sleep today!)
-
- (Of course, my preferred labels for myself these days: 'e-slut'
- and/or 'database whore', are even shorter, but I've found that
- aside from being good advertising, they aren't really descriptive,
- because almost everyone asks me what they mean (mainly 'database
- whore', but a surprising number of people ask me about the meaning
- of 'e-slut')
-
- And, for that matter, any of my labels for myself might be a
- little off, because people may have already noticed that my
- definitions of many things are just a little bit, ah, different
- than what everyone else's definitions are!
-
- ____
- david parsons \bi/ pedantic e-slut
- \/
-