Organization: FidoNet node 1:105/114 - The Electronic Educ, Washougal WA
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You don't have to answer this message separately, just include it with my other rather lengthy epistle. I just reread that message, and I apologize for the typos and mistakes. I was typing very fast.
Do the Vietnamese you work with have parents here? I have had one very, very bad experience with a young Viet boy. I had written to this young man for almost 3 years while he was he a Hong Kong refugee camp. Eventually my sponsorship of him was accepted and he arrived in Portland to live in my home. Things seemed fine at first. His English was very good and he seemed congenial. Then we started noticing things. He seemed to reject the friendship of my other boys, telling me they were not his kind o
f Vietnamese. They were not "good". His background consisted of his parents being shot while his mother held him in her arms. Other members of the family when they found him, thought he was also dead because he was covered in blood and seemingly motionless. He was four months old. As they cleaned him up they discovered he was alive but traumatized. After that he was sent from relative to relative until an older brother literally threw him on a boat to escape.
He had fixated all those years on his mother's death, making a saint of her and blaming her death for all the wrongs in his life. When he found me, he replaced his mother with me to the point of obsession. Its an ugly story, involving many arguments, fights among my sons with him, and ultimately calling the police to take him away. He continued to threaten me and my family for many months. But his whole point was essentially to drive my family away from me, so that he , the perfect son, could take
care of me and have me all to himself. He told lies about me to people, to discredit me but in such a crazy way that no one would ever have believed him. In short, he is crazy. The last I heard he was in San Francisco, a relative tried to help him, but gave up after his family was threatened. I knew early on that he was damaged but I thought I could fix him if I loved him enough. I couldn't, and it took me 7 monts to finally admit it and give in. He was capable of great violence and probably I will a
lways have this small fear of him returning.
I had so much suppport from my Vietnamese friends, who were the ones who finally told me that I had to have him removed from my house. I had great support from my school and family. I learned a great deal about the Vietnamese people from that experience.
I know there are Viet kids here that little will help, the damage done to them is so great and their anger is so deep. But, I have seen successes.
Anyway....this is just a P.S. to my other messages. I would like to hear more details about the boys specifically; backgrounds, areas in Vietnam they are from, family connections etc..
