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- Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 07:49:29 EST
- Sender: English Language Discussion Group <WORDS-L@uga.cc.uga.edu>
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- From: "Don Moore (813) 974-4078 S/C 574-4078"
- <DBFABAK%CFRVM.BITNET@uga.cc.uga.edu>
- Subject: The Annual Christmas Letter
- Lines: 37
-
- I absolutely loved today's Cathy in the comics .... I am a recipient of a
- yearly missive extolling the marvelous achievements of a family of super-
- achievers. This family lives several states away, I rarely see them, no
- contact at all for a year, but they mail out reams of stuff each year
- about how great each of their lives and adult children's lives are. Some
- of it true, some greatly exaggerated, and all negative stuff unmentioned
- (understandably, I guess, but would like to see something more honest).
- So, I would like to (but won't) respond with a fictitious letter, containing
- some of the following ideas:
-
- a. Well Suzie's pregnant again... we had hoped she would finish high
- school ...but her school has a good program for unwed teenage
- mothers. At least this time the father is not a married man ...
- and least she thinks so.
-
- b. Well Raymond is finally out of the house (phew). He lost his fifth
- job in 4 years .... really wasn't his fault ...the brakes on the
- company truck wern't that good ... and besides the building he
- hit needed a lot of work anyway. Well, don't expect he will be
- back home soon (I believed his story about the great deal he got
- on that batch of VCR's - new, in package, only $20 a piece!)
- anyway, as I said he probably won't be back soon as I doubt he
- will earn time off for good behavior.
-
- c. And Uncle Frank ...he dodged a bullet again ..literally. Seems
- the woman's husband came home unexpectedly and fired at Frank as
- he made a hasty exit out the back door. Unfortunately, in his
- haste to escape in the dark, he tripped over something and broke
- a leg. But no problem! We still had the crutches left over when
- my old man broke his own leg the night he was so drunk that he fell
- in the sewer companies new purification pools ...boy, was that ever
- a stinking mess!
-
- Well, folks, I would love to continue this, but got to get to work.
-
- Peace,
- Don
-