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- Xref: sparky alt.romance:15520 soc.couples:4464
- Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
- Path: sparky!uunet!noc.near.net!news.cs.brandeis.edu!chaos.cs.brandeis.edu!cos
- From: cos@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Ofer Inbar)
- Subject: Re: help! worried about friends...
- Message-ID: <cos.725520349@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu>
- Sender: news@news.cs.brandeis.edu (USENET News System)
- Organization: Brandeis University
- References: <1992Dec28.035809.29078@samba.oit.unc.edu>
- Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 05:25:49 GMT
- Lines: 28
-
- Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
- >It has recently come to my attention that, even though the marriage is
- >mere months away, neither of them have thought to start talking about
- >such minutae (sp?) as financial plans, where they're going to live,
- >how they're going to tell their parents (which bothers me on another
- >plane too), etc..
- >And they keep asking me for advice on how to make a relationship work!
-
- They're in college, have no concrete plans, their parents don't
- know, and they're looking for advice about making a relationship
- work... and they're getting married in a few months? I'm not saying
- there's anything wrong with them wanting to spend their life together,
- especially since I don't know them, but can't the wedding wait? It
- sounds possible that they may be going for this early wedding partly
- because they think they need it to 'cement' their relationship, and if
- that's the case, then it's a very strong argument for delaying
- marriage. Let them see if the relationship is strong enough to hold
- on its own, without the crutch of marriage.
- As for counselling, everyone has their biases and will inflict those
- biases on their clients. The trick is probably in finding a
- counsellor whose ideas mesh with the couple. And if they're anti
- religion, then a priest is a bad idea no matter how skillful he is,
- IMHO. Friends, BTW, can make great counsellors, and they don't cost
- money.
-
- -- Cos (Ofer Inbar) -- cos@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu
- -- WBRS (BRiS) -- WBRS@binah.cc.brandeis.edu WBRS@brandeis.bitnet
- Love: a blurring of the distinction between selfish and selfless.
-