NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/alt/folklore/urban/32195

Internet Message Format | 1992-12-28 | 3.4 KB

Path: sparky!uunet!psinntp!sugar!tghost!unkaphaed!popec
From: [e-mail] (William C. Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: FIZZIES (was: Re: Cheese popcorn)
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 05:00:11 GMT
References: <[e-mail]>
Distribution: add
Organization: Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX
Lines: 67

[e-mail] (STella) writes:

> In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail]
> >>3) Also misses...
>
> >>Fizzies!!
>
> >>Anybody else remember them?  Came on a foil-backed card of eight (I
> >>think); you dropped one in a glass of water, and like an Alka-Seltzer(TM)
> >>it would fizz into a drink, but of whatever flavor tablets you bought.
>
> Oh ghod, FIZZIES!!!  Useful when the gal down the street wanted to
> play "first communion"; dressed in my dad's bathrobe and whatever
> other priestly drag we could muster, I'd talk in piglatin for a while,
> then give her a host, placed carefully on the tongue.  Usually a
> saltine or oyster cracker, once she told me that it was blasphemous to
> chew the host (wonderful sign for a party "Please do not chew the
> host", but at our house, we'd take out the third word), I had the idea
> of using something that wouldn't require chewing.  After she received
> the Holy Fizzie, she never pestered me to play communion with her
> again.  But ghod, she looked like the holy ghost was giving her
> mouth-to-mouth, shrieking in tongues and spewing purple (well, it WAS
> communion, and even though RCCs don't get the wine, it seemed the best
> choice) foam.  Some even came out of her NOSE, which I thought both
> decorative and anatomically unlikely, not yet having discovered that
> one can get there from here.
>
> >I suppose you also had "Happy Fizzies parties" as well?
>
> And then there were the ducks in East Lansing.  (This is just about
> three statutes of limitations ago.)  I became aware that local campus
> ordinances were such as to make it more of a beef ($50 versus $25, if
> memory serves) to molest the ducks in the creek than to harass a coed.
>
> This pissed me off, somewhat.  So I took my absolutely last EVER
> Fizzies (I had hoarded those puppies for YEARS.  Never knew what for
> till this day), mostly grape, but a few cola, orange, and lime, broke
> them into pieces, stuck them in my pocket, and strolled down to the
> ducks.  Chummed with a couple slices of bread, and then tried a bit of
> fizzie.  Didn't even need to hide it in bread -- just toss, and they'd
> gobble it RIGHT down.
>
> Ghod, when the gas has started, it is a sight to enjoy.  The average
> duck flutters its wings, squawks in desperation, and best of all,
> backs around at random to escape the gouts of brightly colored
> foam issuing from its beak.  Several of these ducks, all backing
> around in frantic foaming discontent, are even better.
>
> It may be that seagulls can't burp (wouldn't know, never burped one),
> but ducks both can and (after a happy fizzie party) DO.  In
> technicolor.
>
> [e-mail]    1016 E. El Camino Real, #302, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
> [e-mail]    Don't blame me, I voted Libertarian!


I have heard strange tales of tossing Alka Seltzer to seagulls down here
at the Galvaston Beaches.....


Pope Charles

--
[e-mail] (William C. Barwell)
Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX, [phone]
After December 31, [phone]
1200/2400/9600/14400 v.32bis/v.42bis