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- Xref: sparky alt.feminism:6322 soc.men:21550 soc.women:21733
- Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!darwin.sura.net!uvaarpa!concert!duke!gazit
- From: gazit@duke.cs.duke.edu (Hillel Gazit)
- Newsgroups: alt.feminism,soc.men,soc.women
- Subject: Re: Living in a State of Siege
- Message-ID: <724925374@lear.cs.duke.edu>
- Date: 21 Dec 92 08:09:36 GMT
- References: oly.edu> <JULIE.92Dec20133642@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu>
- Reply-To: gazit@cs.duke.edu (Hillel)
- Followup-To: soc.men
- Organization: The Scorpions Nest
- Lines: 97
-
- In article <JULIE.92Dec20133642@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu>
- julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:
-
- > { NOTE: This version was also deemed unsuitable for soc.feminism }
-
- What a surprise...
-
- >"many or most white men" didn't understand this fear. She was going on
- >what _men_ had told her about how _they_ feel comfortable behaving.
-
- Don't you see any problem with this generalization?
-
- E.g. do you assume that the men felt that they could trust her enough
- to tell the truth?
-
- >>Feminists like these act as though they don't have any idea of the
- >>extent to which violence commands a man's attention and forms his upbringing.
-
- >Hell, most MEN don't seem to have any idea of this either, wouldn't you
- >say?
-
- We tend not to share the bad experiences, but it does not mean that
- we have no idea about our lives.
-
- >If you expect more from feminists than from the general population in
- >recognizing injustices of gender roles, that seems perfectly fair to me,
- >but I do think you may be so angry by now that you're blowing up at
- >people who may be missing things at times, but are open to your ideas
- >and arguments when they are exposed to them.
-
- Feminists (like most people who read newspaper) know that men are much
- more often victims of violent crimes (murder included). Feminists also
- push for a federal law that will give stiffer penalties for crimes
- against women.
-
- I see a contradiction between these two facts and your bottom line.
- (IMO most feminists care mainly about injustice toward women.)
-
- >serious problems (or are themselves serious problems). However, in day-
- >to-day life, which is what Karen was talking about, the majority of _men_
- >(not boys) _I_ know are past worrying about circumcision or elementary school
- >bullying;
-
- Open sometime a text book in Psychology 101 and read about the
- importance of childhood experiences on the creation of the personality.
-
- >>Over 90% of those killed on the job in the United States are men.
- >>But at least they aren't victims of sexual harassment.
-
- >See b) above.
-
- >Uh, you never explained why this was rejected from soc.feminism this time...
-
- Do you think that the soc.feminism.censors want to publish
- anti feminist data?!
-
- >>If he gets assaulted on the way to the car, he just stays quiet about it
- >>because BOYS DON'T CRY, dammit, and what? Didn't you fight back? What a
- >>wimp.
-
- >But how can we know about these fears if men won't tell us?
-
- Who was the most popular boy in your high school? The Macho
- guy or the weak boy?
-
- Why men will tell you about their fears if they have a very good
- reason to assume that you (a generic woman) prefer Macho guys?
-
- >I don't know; maybe they're lying because they're afraid to admit their
- >fears to me or to themselves. (I'm not being sarcastic.) If you believe
- >this, what do you think I can do about it without being patronizing?
-
- If every now and then they show some fear let them feel that you
- don't hold that against them.
-
- >by violence, I believe you feel that way, but until I hear the men around
- >me expressing these sorts of thoughts and see them calling the Escort
- >Service at night or going home early so they'll be safe, I'll assume they
- >feel safer than I do.
-
- Or they feel some social pressure against showing how scared they are...
-
- >And when they aren't followed or threatened the
- >way I am, I have to assume they're safer behaving the same way I do --
- >which is exactly what they conclude, too.
-
- Think about your high school class, how many of the boys are dead?
- How many of the girls are dead? Have the boys been safer than
- the girls?
-
- >---Julie
-
- Hillel gazit@cs.duke.edu
-
- "Moderated newsgroups are set up and run by industrial-strength
- control queens as jealous of their monopoly as a five-year-old
- with his first chocolate bunny." -- STella@xanadu.com
-