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- Newsgroups: alt.support
- Path: sparky!uunet!mcsun!fuug!penet!anon
- From: an2942@anon.penet.fi
- Subject: Re: Anonymous help.
- X-Anonymously-To: alt.support
- Organization: Anonymous contact service
- Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 14:12:12 GMT
- Message-ID: <1992Dec17.152852.9800@penet.fi>
- Sender: anon@penet.fi (Anonymous contact service)
- Lines: 42
-
-
- Hi. I am feeling somewhat anxious about spending Christmas by myself.
- Does anyone out there have some positive experiences to report? That
- would be encouraging.
-
- I was going to my dad's house, but he disinvited me. After 10+ years
- of never addressing the fact that he has been not ever really been
- a father to me or my brother and sister, I finally told him off (in the
- nicest way I could - not yelling or berating). He told me that if that's
- the way I felt about him, I should stay home.
-
- The odd thing is, I didn't feel any different about him when I had this
- converstation--I have alwaysresented the fact that he "divorced us"
- (the kids) when my mom divorced him. It's just that I finally confronted
- him about it, and he could not deal with that.
-
- I felt that I had to confront him, because just going along year after year
- pretending everything was fine just to preserve/have *some kind* of
- relationship with my dad was too phony. I couldn't do that with a good
- conscience any more. I would rather have it out that pretend everything
- is fine and, in fact, condone his terrible behaviour. The risk is ending
- whatever relationship we did have (pleasant, but strained and superficial).
- Apparently, though, this was the only kind of relationship he was capable of
- having with me.
-
- I do feel good about finally confronting him, but it makes me sad that he is
- rejecting me. He told me he needs "a cooling off" period, and that "he'll be
- in touch". I am leaving the country to move to Europe for an indefinite period
- this month, and feel a little panicked that our relationship is over.
-
- I also noticed that the conversation I had with him, as well as the way I felt
- having the conversation, resembled almost exactly how I felt and dealt with
- my ex-boyfriend. Interesting. Trying to get blood from a stone.
-
- I just needed to get this out, and ask for support from others who may have
- had similar incidents. Thanks. I love this group, and will miss it when I
- leave (Dec 18).
-
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- Please note you _don't_ have to have an anon id to receive anonymous mail!
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