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Newsgroups: soc.veterans Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!news.nd.edu!mentor.cc.purdue.edu!mace.cc.purdue.edu!jewell From: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell) Subject: 'NamVet Newsletter, Vol.4, no.6 (4/7) Message-ID: <By3FAD.DHF@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> Sender: news@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (USENET News) Organization: Purdue University References: <By3Ew1.CAG@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 01:11:00 GMT Lines: 1005 Telephone: (712)542-3028 LION FOUR, NAVY 3205, Sep 12-16 1990, Contact: Hal Wenick, 4301 N. Ransey Rd. #819, Coeurd' Alene, Idaho 83814 Telephone: (208)765-2608 USS LOUISVILLE (CA-28), Sep 12-16 1990, Contact: James Hamill, 819 W. Charles St., Plano, IL 60545 USS FORT SNELLING (LSD-30), Sep 13 1990, Contact: Tom Mooney, 80 Sanford St., Hamden, CT 06514 Telephone: (203)248-2981 5TH NAVY SEABEES WWII, Sep 13-15 1990, Contact: Laurence Terry, 5307 Maryman Rd., Louisville, KY 40258 USS A.W. GRANT (DD-649), Sep 13-15 1990, Contact: Arnold Olson, 416 E. Evergreen Rd., Lebanon, PA 17042 Telephone: (717)273-9796 USS RUSSELL (DD-414), Sep 13-15 1990, Contact: W. Singleterry, 4544 62nd St., San Diego, CA 92115 Telephone: (619)582-1337 USS RODMAN (DD-456/AMS-21), Sep 13-15 1990, Contact: Ben Winegard, 27 Heritage Ct., Annapolis, MD 21407 Telephone: (301)268-3744 USS TILLMAN (DD-641), Sep 13-16 1990, Contact: Bill Wenzel, 2185 Beaumont Ave. NW, Massillon, OH 97034 Telephone: (503)639-0170 NAM VET Newsletter Page 46 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 USS RENSHAW (DD/DDE-499), Sep 14-15 1990, Contact: R.C. Harrell, Rte. 2, Box 240, Mount Olive, NC 28365 Telephone: (919)658-9239 USS LUDLOW (DD-438), Sep 14-16 1990, Contact: Bob Javins, 537 Clark's Run Rd., LaPlata, MD 20646 USS WAYNE (APA-54), Sep 14-16 1990, Contact: J.A. McFarland, 4305 Yucca St., Beltsville, MD 20705 Telephone: (301)937-7204 )| _+|__|_ |--- --| ------------------------=========================== \_______________________________________________) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ NAM VET Newsletter Page 47 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 ================================================================== M i s s i n g ! ! ! ================================================================== Input by: Joyce Flory NAM VETs Incarcerated Veterans Section Editor Desert Dolphin BBS - Las Cruces, NM (505) 523-2811 An update from the CENTER FOR ACTION F - L - A - S - H May 23, 1990 OUR U.S. POWS ARE "EXPENDABLE!"... ... according to Harriet Isom, U.S. Embassy charge d'affaires in Laos. Isom, who is responsible for POW negotiations said, "... you do not understand. America's presence and future in Indochina involves complex negotiations with Russia and China let alone Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, our Southeast Asian allies and eventually Kampuchea ... You should be aware that there is a greater destiny for our foreign policy in Asia and the POWS are expendable in pursuit of that policy particularly when it comes to an undeclared war." NAM VET Newsletter Page 48 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Input by: Terry Hayes Waterloo, NY TO REMEMBER.... AND HONOR I saw an eagle in a dream. His mouth was opened in a silent scream. His wings were torn , from his struggle there. His feathers worn , from his pain and despair. He lookedtoward Heaven as if to pray. God , I want to be free today ! Free , to fly in your heavens above. Free to feel my country & love. He struggled there and no one came to release his leg from his captor's chain. He was abandoned after the war. He doesn't even look for help anymore. I even saw people in that horrible scene. Unwilling to answer the eagle's scream. It's been fifteen years and his agony grows. Someone have mercy , and let him GO ! OUR POW/MIAs ____________ ======= _________________/|_____... | | " === |_______________| |-----::: |._ - " ) |_|___| / / |___| /_/ NAM VET Newsletter Page 49 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 W W M M W W M M M M W W \ / M M M M OOOO W W W --*-- M M M IIII O O W W W W / \ M M II O O W W W W M M II O O W W M M II O O II PPPPPP O O ..... II AA PP PP OOOO . '' '' .. IIII A A PP PP ..' '.. A A PPPPPPP ..' ''. A A PP ..' '. AAAAAA PP .' ''. A A PP .' '. A A .' .:::::.. '. .' .::::::::::. ' .' .::::::::::::::. '. .' __ .::::::::::::::::;:... '. .' _- -_ .:::::::::::::::::::::::. '. .' _-_ _ _ -_ ::::::::::::::::::::::::' '. .. _- -!!___!!!-_:::::::::::::::::::::::. .. .' ==_ _- _= .:::::::::::::::::::::::: ', . =-_= _= = :::::::::::::::::::::::: . .' =-_ =_- = ::::::::::::::::::::::: '. .' = - -_ =_:::::::::::::::::::::. '. .' -_ -_- .:::::::::::::::::::;;;. '. .' _-_ ..::::::::::::::::::::::::; '. . _ _ .:;:::::::::::::::::::::;, . ' _ .:::::::::::::::::::::::::. '. Y .'.....::::::::::::::::::::::::::;' '. N ::::::::::::::::::::::::' `''' ': O `::::::::::::::::::::::: \v/ \ / :'E `:::::::::::::::::::::: =========================== :' U `:::::::::::::::::::::. /^\ \ :'T `:::::::::::::::::::: .: A `:::::::::::::::::: .:'T `::::::::::::::::::. .;' R `:::::::::::::::::. .;' T `::::::::::::::::. .;' E `:::::::::gjp::: .:' O `:::::::::::::...........'' G N O T F O R " Bring them home --- NOW !!! " NAM VET Newsletter Page 50 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 ================================================================== M e m o r i e s n ' S p e c i a l A r t i c l e s ================================================================== Input by: Kathleen Kelly, Ph.D. NAM VETs PTSD Section Editor The New York Transfer - Staten Island, NY (718) 448-2358 Reprinted from Finger Lakes Times, Geneva, NY Monday April 30, 1990 THE WAR CAME HOME WITH THEM. Many Vietnam veterans fight another enemy - post-war trauma (EDITOR'S NOTE: Today is the 15th anniversary of the fall of Saigon and the U.S.-backed South Vietnamese government. The last American troops left Vietnam in 1973, but some 450,000 veterans still suffer from the legacy of that war.) By BRENDA PITTMAN AND RUDY ELDER CANANDAIGUA - Marine Sgt. Danny Shelp left the bloody rice paddies of Southeast Asia in June 1967. It was not a time of hailing the conquering hero. So the 22-year-old Shelp tried to come to grips with Vietnam. But his war wasn't over. he fought a personal battle with the ghosts of Vietnam for the next 20 years. The casualties included his marriage and career. It was a time of anger, depression, restlessness and violence. Shelp was among Vietnam's walking wounded, suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a psychological condition brought on by his exposure to the horrors of war. Now 44, Shelp is finding inner peace these days, thanks to the counseling and other help he received at the Veterans Administration Medical Center in Canandaigua. But the road to recovery was filled with detours. Little did Shelp know in 1967 that years would pass before the bloody battle scenes, the visions of young men dying, would stop invading his thoughts. His most painful memory was the brutal death of a 12-year-old South Vietnamese boy named Kham. "There was this little guy I used to take care of when I was over there," Shelp explained softly, " I wanted to adopt him and bring him back home with me to the states." The skinny, black-haired boy and a friend names Sam followed the men of Alpha Company as they made their way from one operation to another in I Corps, the northern portion of South Vietnam. "We'd always tell Kham where we were going, and he and NAM VET Newsletter Page 51 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Sam might show up three days after we got to our objective," Shelp recalled, smiling. " They'd give us all kinds of intelligence goodies. They used to walk around in the villages and find out things like where the Viet Cong were and what trails were mined. We used to feed the boys and clothe them." When Kham and Sam didn't return one day after visiting relatives, Shelp began to worry. His worst fears were realized. Shelp's squad found Kham and Sam hanging from a tree. They'd been beaten to death. "The North Vietnamese regulars, not just the Viet Cong guerrillas, had got caught with their pants down a few times and they knew somebody had to be leaking information to us," Shelp said. "They learned the boys were tipping us off to what areas to stay out of and go around. "They killed them right in front of the whole village and everything," he said, his voice growing softer. "I found the guy who turned them in. It was Kham's uncle. I couldn't understand how anyone could do that to their own nephew - his own brother's kid." A squad leader for the infantry unit, Shelp killed the uncle. From that day on, he grew increasingly bitter about the war. Shelp, now a building management service worker at the VA hospital, recently discussed his war experiences with a Finger Lakes Times reporter. A muscular man with tattooed arms, he talked with ease and great seriousness about his post-war years. Vietnam was the last thing on Shelp's mind when he enlisted in the Marines after graduating at the age of 18 from West High School in Rochester. "I knew I wasn't ready for college so I signed up. But I didn't thing I'd end up in Vietnam. A lot of my friends who had dropped out of school got sent to exotic places like the Philippines or the Caribbean, I figured I would too," he chuckled. The Marines had other plans. After learning he was headed for Vietnam, however, Shelp adjusted to the idea and was ready to accept the challenge of combat. I felt good about it," Shelp said. A year as a fire team leader changed his view of the war. After returning home and serving a brief stint training recruits stateside, he was sent back to Vietnam for a second tour of duty. "The second time around I was more concerned about me and surviving, "Shelp said. Combat-weary and emotionally drained, Shelp boarded a plane in Danang in June 1967 for a return to "the real world." NAM VET Newsletter Page 52 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Shelp was grateful to be alive and relieved to be leaving the war behind. But he was far from joyful. He remembers feeling both confused and sad during the long trip home. "I was glad to be coming back to my mom and dad in Rochester, but mostly, I just wanted to be alone," Shelp recalled. He attempted to put the war behind him by visiting the Thousand Islands. "I slept on my boat, I didn't want to see anybody I knew," He said. I just wanted to be alone and put my emotions about the war in perspective." The solitude of four peaceful months in the Thousand Islands didn't still the rage that burned within Shelp. He tried college, entering the University of Rochester on the GI bill. But he couldn't cope with the anti-war demonstrations on campus. He dropped out after one and a half semesters. "Fraternity row had all these anti-war signs and other weird kinds of things.. The government was paying for my schooling so I kind of stuck out like a sore thumb - not only because I was older than most students but because I didn't socialize with people on campus. For years, unsettling memories of death and destruction were Shelp's constant companion. He developed a temper and was involved in numerous brawls. On the job side, he tried the construction business, doing masonry work. "If things weren't exactly right, I would blow up. I would throw the plans at the people... walk off the job." In 1979, at the age of 34, he found himself consumed with restlessness and depression. He'd lost count of all the jobs he'd held and quit, all the places he'd lived and the emotional upheavals he'd experienced. His marriage of eleven years was nearly over. Shelp saw a newspaper ad touting the services of a Veteran's Outreach Center in Buffalo. But when he got there, he found the agency wasn't offering the kind of help he needed. "They asked me what my problem was," Shelp said. " I told them it was Vietnam. But they weren't interested in that. They said they could assist me if I needed help getting benefits or getting a bad conduct discharge turned around. I said, 'So I don't count anymore, okay, ciao.'" His problems continued. After 13 years of marriage and two children, he and his wife split up. "She always tried to understand me, but it just wasn't NAM VET Newsletter Page 53 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 meant to be. Vietnam was a good percentage of the reason the marriage soured." In 1983, while working at a clothing manufacturer in Rochester, Shelp began to experience "uncomfortable feelings" when the firm started hiring Vietnamese workers. "Just watching then eat their lunch, shoveling rice into their mouth really bothered me," he said. "By that point I had developed such a hatred for them because of the war. I quit before I did something foolish." A short time later, Shelp got into a fight in a tavern in Avon. He was standing at one end of the bar, holding onto a bag of groceries, when a patron came up and knocked the bag out of Shelp's hands. "I didn't know the guy and I don't know what his motivations were except that he had a few drinks in him," Shelp recalled. "ut he tried to hit me and I hit him back. Big time. I busted him up good enough to sent him to Highland Hospital." Shelp was arrested on assault charges, but they were dismissed. But Shelp knew he had gone too far and needed help. He went to the VA Medical Center. During weeks of counseling, he learned that he was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - an affliction affecting some 450,000 Vietnam veterans. Brought on by the trauma of war, the disorder carries numerous symptoms, including instability in work and difficulties relating to others. After experiencing some relief, Shelp discontinued the counseling, But he was far from cured. Shelp was haunted by guilt over the killing he had done in Vietnam and over the death of some of his men. As their squad leader, he had felt responsible for their safety. "In the military, they gear you up in training to become a killer, but they never teach you how to deal with it when you do it," he said. "They don't teach you how to deal with losing good friends. "And inevitably in a war there are always some civilians caught in the middle someplace - some innocent people who get killed by mistake. I guess that's the guilt that comes back on anybody that was exposed to it." Shelp re-entered counseling at the VA in 1985 and finally was able to get to the root of his pain - the memory of the little South Vietnamese boy Kham. It was not until he came to grips with the boy's death in extensive counseling with Dr. Roger Lyman that Shelp began to feel better. "Kham is always in my thoughts, but I am more at peace with them now," he said. "Talking with Roger and other friends about it has helped me. I've learned to accept what happened and NAM VET Newsletter Page 54 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 I feel better." Shelp said he knows lots of other Vietnam veterans who are still struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. "I tell them they have it, and they need counseling, but it often falls on deaf ears," he said. "And for those guys you just have to be there when they hit bottom. But my advice to others who are running through that gauntlet of memories, they should come here before they make a stupid mistake." Shelp said he enjoys working at the hospital and has a good relationship with his two children. He said his aim is simply to enjoy life. And what of his memories of Vietnam? "I don't want to deal with it anymore," he said. "It's gone. It's history." | | |____====________ ||__________}____)==================|) =============---------------------===_____ /| | | | |\\ \________|__________|_________|_________|/ \\(O)___(O)___(O)___(O)___(O)___(O)// NAM VET Newsletter Page 55 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Input by: Terry Hayes Waterloo, NY Vets Ambushed THE WASHINGTON TIMES, PAGE A6 THURSDAY, MAY 31,1990 The National Steering Committee for American War Veterans sent a delegation to the Laotian Embassy earlier this week to deliver a note. "If you'll return our POWs," the note read, "you won't have to hide behind police lines anymore." The note was enclosed in a bamboo cage. Police lines had been set up after motorcyclists in town for the "Rock for Freedom" rally began riding over a large Laotian flag in front of the embassy. Organizers said about 15,000 cyclists and friends participated in the "Rock" event, and probably 300 or more earned special patches for participating in the "flag art" exercise. Following the event, a delegation of veterans took the note to the Laotian Embassy. Three uniformed members of the Secret Service escorted the small group to the door. After they had knocked several times, one of the delegation observed: "I just heard someone lock and load behind the door," meaning he had heard someone chamber a round of ammunition. Then came "a loud explosion" behind the door and suddenly the door knob flew off at a high velocity. "Why don't you leave us alone?" a voice behind the door demanded. Ted Sampley of the vets organization said he has filed complaints with the Secret Service and the State Department, but hasn't gotten a response. He said he has the event on videotape. ____________ ======= _________________/|_____... | | " === |_______________| |-----::: |._ - " ) |_|___| / / |___| /_/ NAM VET Newsletter Page 56 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Input by: Chuck Hayes A friend of mine wrote this and said I could share it with y'all. THE WALL, YOUR WALL, MY WALL I stand at the wall to find freedom from the covey of hovering faces. Your wives, your kids, and your stories are with me like litter cases. Your valor was courage in death. Your families cast medals of rage. The living stuff awesome visions-- of stench, from 'Nam as they age. I worked for and in "THE ISSUE" of Missing and Prisoners of War. Gave speeches and sat with world leaders Boxed bracelets and pamphlets galore. I carried your tears to the White House-- your screams to the 10 o'clock news. I carried your dreams to the Peace Talks-- your prayers to Notre Dame's pews. "Took names" at the State Department-- "kicked tail" in the Puzzle Palace. I did what it took to get answers, and daily filled buckets with malice. I loved my flag and my country-- not THOSE who left you in a bind. I hated the captors of torture-- not Vietnamese WE left behind. I wasn't "in charge" or "responsible"-- I chose 20 odd years on that rack. I've been my own prisoner of war 'CAUSE WE NEVER GOT ALL OF YOU BACK. So I come to this gallant gathering, to salute you each in one place. You're heroes without your parade; your memories we can not erase. Now my tears are reflected in granite-- I FEEL the pain and CAN leave you. The freedom I found at YOUR WALL-- MY permission to cry and to grieve you. maureen smith 17-20 may 1990 NAM VET Newsletter Page 57 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Input by: Joyce Flory NAM VETs Incarcerated Veterans Section Editor Desert Dolphin BBS - Las Cruces, NM (505) 523-2811 " Mother still writes letters to son killed in Vietnam " ( Associated Press ) " WASHINGTON - Elanor Wimbish dutifully writes her eldest son four times a year.But she never mails the letters. She leaves them beneath panel No. 32 of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial , where her son's name is permanently engraved in black granite. Wimbish , a 63 - year - old great grandmother from Glen Burnie , Md. , began writing the unmailed letters to her son , William Stocks , after he was killed in a helicopter crash in Vietnam Feb. 13 , 1969. For years , she told no one of the letters she wrote in the wee hours of the morning to comfort herself. But in recent years her letters have been published in numerous books and magazines. Next week , one of the letters will be read during public television's live Memorial Day , evening broadcast of a National Symphony concert on the U.S.Capitol grounds. In the letters , Wimbish often discusses childhood memories of her son and the kindness his fellow military buddies have shown her through the years. " This ( writing ) is my way of coping with the pain , " Wimbish said after leaving a letter at the Memorial earlier this month , on what would have been Stock's 43rd birthday. " My son warmed his way into everyone's heart. He was very special. " Stocks , nickname " Spanky " by his comrades in Vietnam , died at age 21. The blades of his helicopter cut into the aircraft , leaving Stocks severely injured. He died about half an hour later. His body was returned to the United States in a glass - covered casket. Wimbish explained that all bodies deemed viewable were placed in such caskets. " I didn't have to wonder like others who only got pieces back. " Wimbish said , clutching her handbag and fighting back tears. " I hope you know I'm going home and bawl like crazy. But that's OK. It's worth it. It's worth it for people to know. " The letter to be read was written six years ago. " Today is Feb. 13 , 1984. I came to this black wall again to see and touch your name , and as I do , I wonder if anyone ever stops to realize that next to your name , on this black wall , is your mother's heart. A heart broken 15 years ago today , when you lost your life in Vietnam , " Wimbish wrote. " When my son died , I wrote my pledge , " Wimbish said. " I said I will not now or ever let people forget. " NAM VET Newsletter Page 58 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 An estimated 200 , 000 people are expected to gather on the West Lawn of the U.S.Capitol Saturday. The 90 - minute TV special will feature actress Colleen Dewhurst , who will read the letter , in addition to appearances by actor James Earl Jones and singer Rosemary Clooney , who will preform with the National Symphony. " _ | | -----/_\----- -O==============< : >==============O- ( ) (...) ( ) NAM VET Newsletter Page 59 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 Input by: Joyce Flory NAM VETs Incarcerated Veterans Section Editor Desert Dolphin BBS - Las Cruces, NM (505) 523-2811 " Wife sees cruelty of her Vietnam apathy " By Laura Palmer " Before she married one , Jennifer Trudeau's attitude toward Vietnam vets could be summed up in five words : " What a bunch of losers. " Born in 1967 , she was too young to remember the war. When she was growing up in Groton , Conn. , Vietnam rarely was talked about and barely taught in school. By the time she graduated from high school in 1985 , she doubts she could have pinpointed Vietnam on a map , but she didn't much care. " I had heard people say the vets were crybabies because they never got a welcome home parade. You're impressionable when you are young and that was my attitude , that it was all just a bunch of ( garage ). " As a teenager , Trudeau was a drummer with Groton's Nutmeg Fife and Drum Corps. Twice , while on trips with the group , she had a chance to see the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington. But she stayed on the bus both times. She couldn't understand why people came back to the bus with tears in their eyes , especially when " it was only a damn wall. " Two years ago , Trudeau was working as an electronic beam welder on B1 - B and F - 16 bombers at an aerospace company in Groton when she noticed Terry Topham. One of her co - workers jokingly said she should stay away from him because he was a crazy Vietnam vet. But Trudeau and Topham discovered they had common interests , like hunting and target shooting , and soon they were dating. Gradually , Topham began to talk to Trudeau about the war. He went to Vietnam in 1967 , the year she was born , and served with the Army's 9th Infantry Division. When he came home , he tried to talk to his parents about what he'd been through but they refused to listen. Once he began sharing his stories with Trudeau , he couldn't stop. " He was so happy to get it off his chest that he went overboard talking about it. It was driving me nuts , " Trudeau says. " One day I said , ' Please , stop I don't want to hear it anymore.' I felt if he stopped talking about his Vietnam experiences , it would heal the wound and stop driving me mad. But I could see the crumpled look on his face and it hurt me a lot when I realized what I had done. " So , a few months later , when Topham said he wanted to see the wall again , Trudeau agreed to go along. They rode to Washington on his motorcycle. " It was strange ," she says , " because before , I had laughed at the wall. Terry looked at the wall and he started to cry. He NAM VET Newsletter Page 60 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 sort of froze in his steps. I tried to comfort him even though I knew there was no true way to ease the misery and pain he felt when looking at the names. It really moved me that he reacted that way. " The two of them went back to the wall after midnight , expecting to find the wall deserted. They were surprised to find others there on private vigils. As they approached the wall , one man embraced Terry and said , " Welcome home. " " I had never witnessed such camaraderie between two strangers , " Trudeau says. The man then embraced Trudeau with the same words , even though it was clear to him that she was too young to have ever served in Vietnam. " It brings you into a very closed circle. It was almost like unlocking a secret , " she says. Suddenly , Trudeau sensed the magnitude of the wall's power. " Now when I look at that wall I can almost feel the men there and when I touch the wall , it's strange. I feel a sadness , and a loneliness. I'm kicking myself for all those years I made fun of it. It was the cruelest thing I've ever done. I know that now. " Trudeau , who wed Topham in October , is dismayed because she knows that there are many in her post - Vietnam generation who know nothing about the war and don't care. " It's a very valuable history lesson. I would say , ' Wake up and take a look at Vietnam. ' " NAM VET Newsletter Page 61 Volume 4, Number 6 June 17, 1990 -- #L.W. Jewell Moderator at the Veterans Information Site (veteran@cc.purdue.edu)# #& WWII-L Listowner: "Sunday's horoscope is note worthy because of its strange,# #sudden and wholly unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all # #phases of life." "Your Horoscope" L.A. Evening Herald Express, Sat, 12/06/41 #