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- From: diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams)
- Newsgroups: soc.singles
- Subject: Re: What is attractive to women?
- Message-ID: <7329@news.duke.edu>
- Date: 24 Nov 92 02:11:51 GMT
- References: <7297@news.duke.edu> <lh25e4INN5u4@news.bbn.com> <1992Nov24.003925.5742@fid.morgan.com>
- Sender: news@news.duke.edu
- Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.
- Lines: 40
- Nntp-Posting-Host: soc11.acpub.duke.edu
-
- In article <1992Nov24.003925.5742@fid.morgan.com> sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart) writes:
- >
- >There's a difference between being friendly and being overly familiar.
- >Using a diminutive of someone else's name without permission is
- >insulting (haven't we just had that thread?). Using someone's first
- >name is friendly (in the US; it's considered overly familiar in Europe
- >unless you know the person very well).
-
- This is exactly what I meant. I don't mind familiarity from persons
- with whom I actually am familiar (my father calls me "Bethie", for
- example, and one of my best friends occasionally teases me by calling
- me a variant of "Liz" that I can't even bear to type) but woe
- betide the stranger or casual acquaintance who tries any of this.
-
- By the way, thanks to everyone who stuck up for my right to be called
- by my name. :-)
-
- >Beth, (I can call her that, she signed email to me that way)
-
- Seth, after that backrub you emailed me, you can call me anything
- you like. :-)
-
- >have you tried correcting anyone who
- >called you Liz that your name is "Ms. Abrams"? (I wonder how long
- >they'd take to catch on.)
-
- My reaction varies. If the person is well-meaning and just confused,
- I tend to either ignore them or gently correct them, at least the first
- time, and place a small check mark in the negative column of my assesment
- of their manners. If the person follows up their overly familiar
- address with other unwanted familiarities I tend to avoid that person
- from then on. I've never tried anything as pointed as what you
- suggest, but I'll keep it in mind for a day on which I'm feeling
- particularly prickly.
-
- --Diamond
-
- diamond@acpub.duke.edu | The soul may choose its own society and shut
- Elizabeth S. Abrams | the door, but the body gets thrown into bed
- | with the damnedest people. --Peter Beagle
-