>>>I honestly believe -- and have been told I'm unusual for this belief -- that
>>>in a relationship, friendship should come before romance. Personally, I've
>>>*never* fallen head over heels in love with someone unless I was friends
>>>first. Maybe it *is* a little cynical, but I just don't believe in love at
>>>first sight, for myself anyway.
>>
>>I think you are unusual, though not unique, in this respect--it's been
>>my experience that for most people, once they perceive you as a friend,
>>they will no longer ever be able to perceive you as a potential romantic
>>possibility. Personally, I think your way is more reasonable, but it's
>>still very much the less popular tactic.
>>
>>Trygve
>
>I think thanks to the novel and movie world we all have this contention that
>love and friendship is two sides of a coin. The connotation of "just a friend"
>we perceive as "sorry, but I don't think of you beyond that" or "I don't love
>you that way anymore". This a falacy! You cannot separate friendship from loveanymore than you can grow an apple without a tree (you can try, some do).
>Friendship must come first and then deepen into real love. If it goes the otherway first then it is most likely a physical attraction or infatuation. If you
>bypass all the steps and hop into a relationship (or bed) then the chances are
>doomed to be short and/or miserable later. If you are one of those whose first
>sight discovery skyrocketed into the dream of your life, if you ask around, you
>won't find a majority of luck like that. Over 90% of people today come from
>dysfunctional upbringing and are drowning in bad relationships or stayin away
>from the good ones because of following unfortuneately learned habits or advice.If you think that you can't be friends with a lover or a friend cannot be your
>lover, then that's what you will get (probably a short romance). The average
>lenght of time for a relationship today is 3 months because that's about how
>long it takes for us to drop our acts or method-of-operation and be ourselves.
>Your friends know your true selves and they will make the longest lovers and
>potential soul mate. The ones who will be most dear, will be the ones near the most.
>
>dB
Excellent post my good man! Now if I can just convince a certain young
