NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/rec/music/christia/8674

Internet Message Format | 1992-11-20 | 4.1 KB

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From: [e-mail] (Ted Krueger)
Newsgroups: rec.music.christian
Subject: Re: What do you do when your child thinks Metallica is cool?
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Date: 18 Nov 92 22:02:41 GMT
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <nauman.721919816@hq>
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson AZ
Lines: 74

>Ive given quite a bit of thought to this matter, especially since
>I was one of those kids who totally rebelled against their parents
>in the area of Music, and this is what Im going to do with *my*
>kids :)
>
>1.  Allow them to listen to any style of Christian Music that they wish,
>be it Rap, metal, whatever.
>
>2.  Actually go out with them to the local Christian Bookstore and
>purchase for them the kind of music they want to listen to.
>
>3.  Purchase for them their own stereo that they can put in their
>room to listen to their Christian music, any style.
>
>4.  Forbid them to listen to Secular music.
>
>Im hoping that by supporting them in numbers 1, 2, and 3, that theyll
>not rebel when it comes to number 4. :)
>
>Still, no guarantees however.  I suppose if my boy wants to rebel, there
>really isnt anything I can do about it.  I just hope for the best :)
>
>Regards,
>
>Dave.

In my experience (I have been both a Christian and public school teacher),
rebellion nearly always occurs in children.  The intensity of that rebellion
is almost always linked to children feeling a lack of control over their
lives.  As a child gets older, responsibility for their actions should
increase, as should the ability to make decisions for themself.  As little
children, their parents must make all decisions for them.  As eighteen
year-old, nearly high school graduates, they should likewise make many
decisions themselves. The progression of the percentage of decisions that
they should be given the power to make should follow something like a
diagonal line.  While children are very small, parents should be something
like dictators, yet by the time children are ready to leave home the role
of the parent should be nearly completely that of advisor.  It is not at
all profitable for parents to be controlling (or attempting to control)
every aspect of an eighteen year-old's life.  It is, however, essential
that older children be held personally responsible for decisions that they
make.

Now back to the main question.  It should be acceptable for a parent of
a five year-old (or perhaps a ten or twelve year-old) to expressly forbid
their children to listen to certain kinds of music.  At this age, children
expect, no need, boundaries to be set.  This is the time of life where you
use your parental influence to the fullest extent, attempting to train up
your children in the way that you desire them to go.  But, if it is your
desire to teach your children that listening to Metallica is wrong, and
they do not agree with you by the time they are seventeen, you are too late,
and forbidding them to listen to that band will have undesired effects.
(Such as, going to someone else's house whose parents will allow them to
listen to such music, or hanging around with the wrong crowd simply because
they listen to this music.)

The bottom line is, if you, as a parent, are still acting dictatorial when
your children reach the age of, say fifteen to seventeen, then you are too
late.  The only constructive thing you can do at that point is to talk at
length with your child, and see if you can get them to get into some serious
prayer with you.  You are most likely not going to be able to reason
with your children.  Only the Holy Spirit can teach them the things that
you were remiss in teaching them.

Hope this helps.

From a practicing father (In Christ),

Ted

--
"We will bury you! We will bury you! We will bury you!"
      - some ex-Soviet leader
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