NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27

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Path: sparky!uunet!mozz.unh.edu!kepler.unh.edu!ss1 From: ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rink) Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Another Enormous Signature File (#15) Date: 17 Nov 1992 08:48:36 GMT Organization: Turkey Hall Lines: 460 Distribution: world Message-ID: <1eabl4INN7j0@mozz.unh.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: kepler.unh.edu =============================================================================== The Enormous Signature Extension #15 (email ss1@kepler.unh.edu for the others) =============================================================================== ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Paul A. Sand, System Administrator, UNH | I'm posting on Christian's account| | pas@kepler.unh.edu | simply because he gets more | | Kingsbury M103 -- 862-4347 | respect than I do, and because he | | Durham, New Hampshire 03824 | has nicer legs and can program | | Mail me for info on local zoos! | better in C, which I admire. | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | "There's a little bird, never tells me anything I want to know, she's my | | best friend, she's a sparrow." -- They Might Be Giants | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Christian Longshore Claiborn, PC Liberal Democrat in residence, UNH | | Christian@unh.edu clc@kepler.unh.edu christian@turing.org clc@gloin.unh.edu | | "I'm hungry and I want a TA who speaks English." -- jlw3@kepler.unh.edu | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Pbatenghyngvbaf! Ol EBG13'vat guvf fvtangher lbh'ir dhnyvsvrq sbe ragel va | | bhe guveq naahny "V'z n Phevbhf Areq Jvgu Ab Yvsr" cebtenz! Sbe ehyrf naq | | ragel erdhverzragf, znvy ufx@xrcyre.hau.rqh jvgu gur fhowrpg yvar, "UFX, V'z| | ubcryrff!" Nyy pbzcynvagf, dhrfgvbaf, naq synzrf qverpgrq gb /qri/ahyy. | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | pyp@xrcyre.hau.rqh | Puevfgvna@hau.rqh | puevfgvna@ghevat.bet | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |igetasegmentationfaultwhenithinkaboutteachingassistantswhodontspeakenglishwho| |shouldbeworkingincumberlandfarmspouringslurpeesforfatkidsnotworkinginaninstit| |uteofhigherlearningteachingbusinessmajorshowtoprogramincdammitandthenigetangr| |ybecauseiliveinareactionaryconservativefasciststateandimsurroundedbypeoplewho| |dontunderstandmypoetryandcantrelatetomyfeelingsimamandammitamanidontlikethiss| |stuffdontlikebeingtreatedlikeafooloranungratefulbratihadaroommateandheisgone!| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- |In the interest of | |bandwidth, this sig| |is very short. | | Christian@unh.edu | --------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Dear Reader: My name is Christian. Did you like this message? | | --- --- | | | | | | | | --- --- | | yes! no! | | Please check the appropriate box and send to Christian@unh.edu. Thanks. | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Christian Longshore Claiborn, Christian@unh.edu, clc@kepler.unh.edu | | All my posts are dictated by a pair of Llamist scribes, carried by donkey | | to a small temple in Arizona where they are translated into Swahili, then | | into ancient Greek and then back into English, and then carried by three | | Frenchmen named Jacques to the lab that contains the original ENIAC, where | | switches are flipped randomly in hopes of transcribing my words. | | Inaccuracies can be blamed on solar waves, heavy drinking by IBM engineers, | | and your own failing cerebral capacity. Send me money, please. | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | "I'm absolutely convinced that all the problems that plague me daily are a | | direct result of my utter incompetence- if I can conquer that, total world | | domination is the next logical step!" -- Me, in group therapy | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Christian Longshore Claiborn, The Most Dangerous Man in Durham | | clc@kepler.unh.edu / Christian@unh.edu / christian@turing.ORG | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- =============================================================================== | "I've found through an exhaustingly thorough empirical study that the most | | atrocious habits and manners can be explained and indeed excused by the | | simple statement, "Well, you see, I'm in love." -- Christian Claiborn | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | clc@kepler.unh.edu|Christian.unh.edu|christian@turing.org|clc@gloin.unh.edu | =============================================================================== ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | "A routine check has shown that your directory is world-writable. Like, ya | | know, this is, ya know, definitely not a bitchin' idea." -- Mostly P. Sand | |/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/| | Christian Claiborn | "Are all of these here Vaxes?" | | Christian@unh.edu | [From a nameless INCO 495 student, in | | christian@turing.org | reference to a bank of VT320's.] | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Caught an internal error--.brainrc restored * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Tim Webb tcw@kepler.unh.edu * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "...I can almost play the whole song on my organ!" * * "What song?" * * "Uh...it's called `shut my mouth blues'." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" ---Proverbs \_\_\_\_\_ \_ \_\_\_ \_\_\_\_ ======================================== \_ \_ \_ \_ \_ \_ TTULLIO@WILLET.WESLEYAN.EDU ---------- \_ \_\_\_ \_ \_ ========================================= The ideal Kepler load average..... 5:29pm up 10 days, 44 mins, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00 User tty from login@ idle JCPU PCPU what mre p0 clstr4.unh.edu 5:03pm cool dude :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ???|MikEscutia|mre@kepler.unh.edu|M_ESCUTIA@unhh.unh.edu|CS Majors rule!|!!! -Denise ********* "If you can't say something nice..don't say nothin' at all." -THUMPER "I'm in the mood to help you, dude! You ain't NEVER had a friend like me!" -the Genie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ diana tenery-fisher 'It is only with the heart that one can see cass@netcom.com rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye' - The Little Prince Soundtrack > these thoughts were had solely under the influence of du jour > Narada Sampler 2 - Lotus Artists Michael Goodwin * If you don't like * New Mexico State University * my music, then buy * mgoodwin@nmsu.edu ,,, * a radio that is * (o o) * louder than mine! * -------------------oOO--(_)--OOo------------------------ | Don't take life too seriously, cause you'll | | never get out of it alive | -------------------------------------------------------- - CT I feel like 1/10,000th of a million bucks.... ||====================================================================|| ||//$\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//$\\|| ||(100)==================| FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE |================(100)|| ||\\$// ~ '------========--------' \\$//|| ||<< / /$\ // ____ \\ \ >>|| ||>>| 12 //L\\ // ///..) \\ L38036133B 12 |<<|| ||<<| \\ // || <|| >\ || |>>|| ||>>| \$/ || $$ --/ || One Hundred |<<|| ||<<| L38036133B *\\ |\_/ //* series |>>|| ||>>| 12 *\\/___\_//* 1989 |<<|| ||<<\ Treasurer ______/Franklin\________ Secretary 12 />>|| ||//$\ ~|UNITED STATES OF AMERICA|~ /$\\|| ||(100)=================== ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS =================(100)|| ||\\$//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\$//|| ||====================================================================|| See you around the funny farm! (/~~\) - CT (/~~\) ((0 0)) ((O O))___ ,_______------/ | | \ / ~~~ # // / (oo) (oo)\ # --#---x---x---x---x---x---- --< > >_,< ->,_< -x---x---x---x---#-- # | | | | | | (oo) (oo) (oo) - \ # --#---x---x---x---x---x--x--x (..) /(o_o)-(o_o)\ -x---x---x---x---#-- \#// \\|~~ \\~ ~/// .../ ||W--'|| \||/// ||/- \\\\\|||/// \|/#\|| ==========================*==||====||=========||==*================== ******************************************************************************* MikEscutia Alia mre@kepler.unh.edu was M_ESCUTIA@unhh.unh.edu here ******************************************************************************* Flames WILL be returned! , , Lisa Jenkins _ (\____/) jenkins@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu [ ] (_oo_) ( ) (O) *-*-* "BITE ME -- IT'S FUN!" *-*-* |>| __||__ \) __/===\__ []/______\[] / 1603 Thirteenth Street South //| o=o |\\ / \______/ \/ Moorhead, Minnesota <] | o=o | [> / /__\ 56560-3734 \=====/ (\ /____\ / / | \ \ (Tom Servo by Brian Heil/used with permission)<_________> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MikEscutia |"What's the secret of comedy?| "SPOON!" Inte: mre@kepler.unh.edu | ...timing." | --Battle cry of rnet: M_ESCUTIA@unhh.unh.edu| --Solar, _Solar_#16 | The Tick Disclamer: You HAVE to be dealing with AT&T--this dimension is filled with 'em! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ MikEscutia | "I zigged where I should have zagged." mre@kepler.unh.edu | --Al, Killin' Time M_ESCUTIA@unhh.unh.edu | Disclamer: My old sig files leaped on me! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Lisa Jenkins@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu 1603 Thirteenth Street South Moorhead, Minnesota 56560-3734 eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Lisa Jenkins@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu 1603 Thirteenth Street South Moorhead, Minnesota 56560-3734 O^=| <--| *;-o <--"*WOULD YOU FORGET THE SKID MARKS?!?*" \__ <--| () "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" --Proverbs 3:5 "Aw, Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungie cord!"--Calvin "It's barbaric, but hey, it's home"--"Arabian Nights" from --Aladdin-- ======================================================================== | Bruce M. Crawford ! "It's not the years, ! | ! it's the mileage." ! | Internet: bmcraw01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu ! - Indiana Jones ! ! BITNET: bmcraw01@ulkyvx ! ! ======================================================================== ! "This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow as ! ! the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ! ! _Hamlet_, Act I, Scene III ! ======================================================================== ___ ____ /__) / ^ __| ^ |\ /| ______________________________ / . \_/ . /-\(__|/-\| V | (__ paul@erc.msstate.edu _______________________________________) Engineering Research Center For Computational Field Simulation **************************************************************************** "Anything that happens, happens." | Jonathan Chapman | Ezra Stiles College "Anything that, in happening, causes something| Yale University '95 else to happen, causes something else to | happen." |E-Mail: |CHAJONH@YaleVM.ycc.Yale.edu "Anything that, in happening, causes itself to| or happen again, happens again." |chapman@suncis.ycc.yale.edu | or "It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological|jchapmn@minerva.ycc.yale.edu order, though." | |Mail: -Douglas Adams |P.O. Box 1897, Yale Station "Mostly Harmless" |New Haven, Ct. 06520 **************************************************************************** ___________________________ /___________________________) | >> Stealth Dave >> / [@@@> DESTILL@MTU.EDU |__ ________________/ / ***** / ( / If you are caught using this address, internet / ***** /____/ will deny any responsibility of its use. This / ***** / E-Mail will self-destruct in 10 seconds... /_______/ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ====== Honorius the Holy Avenger and King! ===== " The dreaded Balrog has met Its doom!" Jason Quarry C8841288 @ CC.NEWCASTLE.EDU.AU University of Newcastle, Australia. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- | ftit@engin.umich.edu | "... a stainless steel rat in the | | (Sergej Roytman) | ferroconcrete wainscoting of Internet" | ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Say no to four-line .sigs. -----------------------THE 'SUGOI' ENORMOUS .SIG!!------------------------- ************************** "Ore wa ima...MOORETSU ni... * _ ____ * NEKKETSU SHITEIRU!" * /\ / / ____________\ * ****** / \/ /___/ KNIGHT / ****** Avi Melman * _____ __,_ ___ * a.k.a. Wan Dabada, * _______ / / & /| | | * Lamunes, King Sccasher * / / ____/ /____| | * (depending on my mood...) * \____/ /_____\ | \ | |___| * Cal-Animage Epsilon, ****************************************** Video Coordinator Anime + Plus, 7 Flaxwood, Irvine, CA 92714 Voice: (714) 786-0806 BBS: AnimeVektor BBS (714) 786-8640 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Josh Laff # # email to: smiley@uiuc.edu _ _ Hello! I am a signature virus! (217) 384-6249 |#\_____/#| Join the fun and copy mo*#(*&^!>. \#######/ Daniel Max P. Drucker | #define SLOGAN Hey! Lets port it to COBOL! The 14 year old LISP/C++ genius. | Disclaimer: I don't know COBOL. /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\/~\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ / Difficulty! It's the single simplest machine in the entire Universe! \ \__________________________________________________________________________/ / Is there anyone out there in net.land in Port Washington, New York? \ \______a m a t e u r____r a d i o____c a l l s i g n____p e n d i n g______/ -Morten Leikvoll / leikvoll@hsr.no (Is it short enough?) moorcockheathersiainbankshamandcornpizzapjorourkebluesbrothersspikeleepratchett clive P a u l M o l o n e y "I'm pretty witty and you're itty bitty pe james Trinity College, Dublin And isn't it a pity the city can't see? vr brownbladerunnerorsonscottcardprincewatchmenkatebushbatmanthekillingjoketolkien ************************************************************************ ** ** ** ** David C. Meyers ** ** ** ** ** ** MATH1RB@JETSON.UH.EDU ** ** ** ** ** ************************************************************************ ####%%####%#%########## "There are just some days V ' ' q ' 'D ###%%%%###%###%## when a Wand of Clone Monster ########'###%%+#######..L...D.p...W...+ just isn't going to help." # # ####...@W.....q....V# %###%%'##%%%+#### W..qq....B.....D.# -- DARWATER %..L....p.....D..####%'%%##'%'%%Q#'%##########%#%###### #p.....L...q.....# % # #W # # DD ' ' L V W #########'%%###### #L# ##### #%%%%###%#%#%#%%###### ss1@kepler.unh.edu AlbSLyujwqNSpwnbgSOnaS #$^$#%*&#$#%@!%#^#$%&$#^&*@^%@!#$^$#%&$#%&^@$%^@$%^$ WwmPTnsOpbAHosTwnOQloL $ Terry Leifeste, Scholar and Fool ) GpqNWtrWwoJRhekugAMcyX ^ TLL6551@ZEUS.TAMU.EDU TLL6551@TAMZEUS & OwbEKqkTktRTYKDTVWQosI @----------------------------------------------------% WjeCMephgyGBzybhahsobJ * "Who do you think started Christian rock? I * PnsWOPBHWPBNAHEAJBNbyW ! did!" -Lew Siffer ("Green Angels" Chick Tract) @ XwqZOJbypanenbabshabwD #$%^&$%^*#$^!#$&^$#*%$^&!#%&^(V4.0)%*$#$@%^@@#$^@#%^ ******************************************************************************* Greg "squirrels rule" Walter * I am the Master. You will obey me. Flannel Man ************************************************ walter@stolaf.edu * "Do you know who killed Laura Palmer?" St. Olaf College * -FBI agent Cooper Northfield, MN * ******************************************************************************* I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the zit on the night of crime's really big date. I am Darkwing Duck! ******************************************************************************* farul ghazali. columbia university in the city of new york. "Phenomenal cosmic powers... itty bitty living space." - Genie - "Aladdin" that you can't scratch, etc." Has anyone else done so, or could point me in any directions to that or gifs or sounds, etc? Posts or mail would be appreciated. I will post my list of stuff in the very near future (like today). ******************************************************************************* Greg "squirrels rule" Walter * "ootayoloo Solo?"-Greedo Flannel Man ************************************************ walter@stolaf.edu * "all the gelatospheres will be harvested and St. Olaf College * smoked"-Beldarr Northfield, MN * ******************************************************************************* "you don't have to be strong and have neat gadgets and a swell costume to be a superhero, but it sure helps.."-Darkwing Duck ******************************************************************************* * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * | N. L. Sliker, Director/Engineering Computing | * 3043 Learned Hall * | University of Kansas "Everything goes wrong all the time - | * Lawrence, KS 66045 What you do is fix it." * | mouse@ukanvax.cc.ukans.edu - Gus Pagonis | * (913) 864-3692 * | Disclaimer: My opinions are my own; nobody else is even interested. | * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * __ / /\ / / / 2 / / \ "I am only familiar with the kitchen area." / / /\ \ * ======================================================== * \_\/\ \ \ Tom Tullio * TTULLIO@WILLET.WESLEYAN.EDU * Alumni Office \_\/ ---------------------------------------------------- -- Sam. ss1@kepler.unh.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me. -------------------------------------------------Ambrose Bierce---------------- English law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. -------------------------------------------------Anonymous---------------------