NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/nlnet/misc/4487

Text File | 1992-11-23 | 2.9 KB | 68 lines

Newsgroups: nlnet.misc
Path: sparky!uunet!mcsun!sun4nl!rlmix1.rulimburg.nl!thole
From: [e-mail] (Johan Thole)
Subject: Re: Ik (Mike) ben een heks!
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Sender: [e-mail] (USENET News System)
Organization: University of Limburg, Maastricht
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Distribution: nlnet
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 17:05:20 GMT
Lines: 55

[e-mail] (Mike Schenk [phone]) writes:

>The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>Your question was:

>> Almighty oracle, ruler of the wasteland and keeper of the seven
>> keys please help me since I am confused.
>>
>> Recently it has been brought to my attention that I am a witch.
>> However, since I think I am a male and witches are female I do
>> have a problem. Either I am correct about being a male and thus I
>> am not a witch or I am female and a witch. Please tell me which
>> is the case!
>>
>>     Best regards
>>
>>         Mike aka Marieke

>And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

>} There are such things as male witches, you know.  Usually they are called
>} wizards (warlock has unpleasant connotations, so it's not often used).
>}
>} However, you are definitely a female witch disguised as a man.  The disguise
>} is pretty near perfect -- you can even get women pregnant! -- so if you're
>} really happier pretending to be male, just stay disguised and live out your
>} life that way.  If not, consider the modeling industry -- no, not computer
>} models, dummy -- fashion modeling.  A few good spells applied to yourself
>} could make you beautiful, rich, famous, and the lust object of millions of
>} men.  GIFs illegally scanned from your swimsuit calendars will be posted
>} on alt.supermodels.
>}
>} Of course, about half of the top fashion models in the world are also witches
>} who have transformed themselves; most of the rest have been transformed by
>} witches.  So if you want to break into the industry, be careful that you
>} don't offend anybody.  Elle MacPherson is 173 years old, a hideous crone in
>} her true form, and horribly powerful.  If she wanted to turn you into a
>} banana slug, say, she could do it with hardly a second thought, and your
>} powers aren't up to fending off such an attack, let alone retaliating.
>} Cheryl Tiegs is not the original Cheryl Tiegs: "she" is a man who offended
>} the witch who created the Cheryl Tiegs appearance and persona, and that
>} witch changed him into that form and went on to become a younger model.
>} So be careful!
>}

Mike,

What do you owe the oracle? Just curious.

Johan.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Johan Thole ([e-mail]) | The wrong side of a door is
University of Limburg               | where the dog is.
Dept. of computer science           | #include <std/disclaimer.h>