NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/nlnet/misc/4415

Text File | 1992-11-20 | 3.7 KB | 82 lines

Newsgroups: nlnet.misc
Path: sparky!uunet!mcsun!sun4nl!spider.research.ptt.nl!research.ptt.nl!mschenk
From: [e-mail] (Mike Schenk [phone])
Subject: Ik (Mike) ben een heks!
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Sender: [e-mail] (USEnet News)
Nntp-Posting-Host: dnlts0.research.ptt.nl
Organization: PTT Research
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Distribution: nlnet
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 09:09:56 GMT
Lines: 68

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
> In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Mike Schenk [phone]) writes:
> |In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
> |> In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Maximus) writes:
> |> |
> |> |Mike is een hij en heksen zijn een zij en daar hij een hij is en geen zij
> |> |kan hij geen zij zijn daar alleen zij een heks kan zijn.
> |> |(Duidelijk?)
> |>
> |> Nee, ik snap er niets van; om twee redenen:
> |>
> |> punt 1: ik ben er helemaal niet zo zeker van of Mike wel een man is.
> |
> |Nou daar ben ik nu dus ook aan gaan twijfelen. Maar geen nood ik
> |heb het zojuist aan het USEnet Oracle gevraagd. Dus als hij zich
> |even van Liza kan losrukken dan krijg ik wel een sluitend
> |antwoord. Als het zover is dan post ik het wel zodat dat probleem
> |ook uit de wereld is.
>
> Say no more! Do you want to come upstairs then eh? bouncy bouncy?
> wink, wink, nudge, nudge!

Nu je er toch over begint, het Oracle heeft geoordeeld over mijn
geslacht en heksendom:
------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Almighty oracle, ruler of the wasteland and keeper of the seven
> keys please help me since I am confused.
>
> Recently it has been brought to my attention that I am a witch.
> However, since I think I am a male and witches are female I do
> have a problem. Either I am correct about being a male and thus I
> am not a witch or I am female and a witch. Please tell me which
> is the case!
>
>     Best regards
>
>         Mike aka Marieke

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} There are such things as male witches, you know.  Usually they are called
} wizards (warlock has unpleasant connotations, so it's not often used).
}
} However, you are definitely a female witch disguised as a man.  The disguise
} is pretty near perfect -- you can even get women pregnant! -- so if you're
} really happier pretending to be male, just stay disguised and live out your
} life that way.  If not, consider the modeling industry -- no, not computer
} models, dummy -- fashion modeling.  A few good spells applied to yourself
} could make you beautiful, rich, famous, and the lust object of millions of
} men.  GIFs illegally scanned from your swimsuit calendars will be posted
} on alt.supermodels.
}
} Of course, about half of the top fashion models in the world are also witches
} who have transformed themselves; most of the rest have been transformed by
} witches.  So if you want to break into the industry, be careful that you
} don't offend anybody.  Elle MacPherson is 173 years old, a hideous crone in
} her true form, and horribly powerful.  If she wanted to turn you into a
} banana slug, say, she could do it with hardly a second thought, and your
} powers aren't up to fending off such an attack, let alone retaliating.
} Cheryl Tiegs is not the original Cheryl Tiegs: "she" is a man who offended
} the witch who created the Cheryl Tiegs appearance and persona, and that
} witch changed him into that form and went on to become a younger model.
} So be careful!
}