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- Xref: sparky alt.romance:14271 soc.singles:31157
- Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
- Path: sparky!uunet!sun-barr!ames!news.hawaii.edu!spectra!deb
- From: deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett)
- Subject: Re: Being Alone?
- Message-ID: <1992Nov18.215248.14104@news.Hawaii.Edu>
- Sender: root@news.Hawaii.Edu (News Service)
- Nntp-Posting-Host: spectra.eng.hawaii.edu
- Organization: University of Hawaii, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
- References: <1992Nov12.022755.17214@microsoft.com>
- Distribution: usa
- Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 21:52:48 GMT
- Lines: 34
-
- In article <1992Nov12.022755.17214@microsoft.com> allanl@microsoft.com (Allan Lockridge) writes:
- >What is the longest period of time between boyfriend/girlfriend?
- >Basically, I am interested in what is considered a normal length
- >of time after one breaks up to when a new boy/girlfriend is found.
- >
- >
- > Allan
- >--
- >Allan Lockridge -- Allanl
-
- It depends on what the breakup is about. If the relationship was a long one
- and/or heavily and emotionly involved and the break was painful and not easy,
- then the time NECESSARY is no less than 6 mos or 1 yr for the mourning period
- to be over and emotional attachment (love or anger) to let go. For some a
- longer time is needed depending on how many years the relationship was. If
- the break was because of one or the other getting envolved in another person,
- then for the person who strayed no time (but future regret) and for the
- abandoned one same as what I mentioned eariler. If the break was a result
- of a fading relationship where the two people drifted away from each other and
- didn't share much time together and mutually decided to break, one, if they
- didn't live together, a new relationship could happen very quickly (if nothing
- was in the mill anyway) and two, if they lived together, then the loss of
- the presence of the other regardless of interaction will again take a certain
- amount of time to fade in the mind and heart. Healing is very necessary for
- being able to love positively and find a healthy relationship and that needs
- time ALONE to find your true detached self again. You may find comfort in the
- arms of a sympathic friend, but sympathy does not make a good relationship
- (it may begin the seeds for one, but first things first - letting go and then
- love again). Use your own feelings to gauge yourself. If you still have the
- other person in your heart and mind, then you are NOT ready for another one.
- No one wants to have something new that is still broken. If they do then
- misery loves company, not a good bed to grow anything from.
-
- dB
-