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- Xref: sparky alt.romance:14222 soc.singles:31076
- Path: sparky!uunet!charon.amdahl.com!pacbell.com!ames!sun-barr!olivea!gossip.pyramid.com!pyramid!infmx!neptune!bradl
- From: bradl@neptune.informix.com (Brad Levy)
- Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
- Subject: Re: net.hugs?
- Message-ID: <1992Nov17.194033.20468@informix.com>
- Date: 17 Nov 92 19:40:33 GMT
- References: <13NOV92.21925419.0026@lafibm.lafayette.edu> <31517@hydra.Helsinki.FI>
- Sender: news@informix.com (Usenet News)
- Organization: Informix Software, Inc.
- Lines: 44
-
- In article <31517@hydra.Helsinki.FI> taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina) writes:
- >
- >I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net. What
- >is the value of them? Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
- >life?
- >
-
- Perhaps a real-life parable helps answer the question. Some years ago, when
- I was at college, I had to walk back to the dorm in the rain. When I was
- almost there, I encountered someone heading the same direction while
- waiting for a stoplight to change. They had an umbrella, which the shifted
- so it covered both of us. I was already soaked at that point, so it wasn't
- keeping me from getting any "wetter" (impossible, at the time). Yet it was
- still valued as an act of humanity and kindness.
-
- This is perhaps along the same lines as the .sigs that suggest practicing
- acts of random kindness.
-
- Would I *hug* and *kiss* a stranger in real life? Hug, yes, kiss, no -
- depending on circumstance. I might be much more likely to offer a hug
- at an environment like a church group than on the street. But thats because
- at the church group, the intent is more likely to be clear (human affirmation,
- rather than lust). Similarly, alt.romance is a place where most people
- have agreed to be safe for open expression (kind of like a some church
- groups). The electronic media also forms a "filter" of sorts, allowing only
- part of the "light" or "emotion" expressed to get through. So stronger
- terms at the "input" end of the posting are appropriate to carry the
- connotation/nuance/emotion that would otherwise be lost due to the medium.
- That is not to say that these expressions can't be heartfelt.
-
- I would also point out that not everyone the *hugs* or *kisses* are sent
- to is a stranger to the poster. I feel I've gotten to know a side of a
- number of regular posters here - Dawn, Mysti, Jason, Diana, Stephen, Ed,
- Stewart, Michael, Mike, and others, from what they've revealed of themselves
- in their posts. And I'm not shy about showing affection in public to those
- I know - so I don't feel shy about showing it on the net, either.
- (You could get "snapped" by a photographer in real life, just as you could
- get archived by someone on the net.) Life isn't completely safe no matter
- what you do. I make the conscious choice to be somewhat open, trusting,
- and vulnerable on the net - knowing that those who are likely to abuse
- that openness are not those whose opinions of me I would care about.
-
- - brad
-
-