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- Newsgroups: alt.romance
- Path: sparky!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!news.unomaha.edu!cwis!oneil
- From: oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil)
- Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
- Message-ID: <oneil.721916324@cwis>
- Sender: news@news.unomaha.edu (UNO Network News Server)
- Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
- References: <1dn3ohINN85u@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> <Bxs4uC.83s@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU>
- Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 12:18:44 GMT
- Lines: 81
-
- stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews) writes:
-
-
- >> It has been 2 months and 10 days since my girlfriend of 3 and a
- >> half years has broken up with me. After begging and pleading and
-
- >I found the begging and pleading doesn't work. Methinks tho, you
- >have to do it once to learn. And it is hard, you wonder how you will
- >ever live without her/him.
-
- I've been through this twice. That is, I've had two serious relationships
- and both ended against my wishes. Although the breakup of the second one
- (about five weeks ago) still hurts, it's tempered by the knowledge that I
- got over the first, so I will get over the second.
-
- >> even calling her about 4 weeks ago (like a dummy), I was wondering
- >> if you ever get over feeling lonely or missing that special
- >> someone to share life with?
-
- >YES. I can state conclusively that you will. It mat take a bit longer
- >2 months and 10 days, but you *will*.
-
- It took me nearly a year to get over the first serious relationship that
- broke up. Now, to be honest, the pain was a lot more intense at one week
- than at one month, at one month than at six, at six months than at one year.
-
- DO remember that feeling lonely is human. We all feel lonely at times. And
- DO remember that there are other people out there to spend your life with.
- That special someone is not the ONLY special someone.
-
- >I don't try to forget. You can't stop loving someone you have loved so
- >much, you will always have a place in your heart for them. Remember
- >the good times, try not to dwell on them...
-
- One thing that helps me is realizing that just because the relationships I've
- had haven't worked out doesn't invalidate them. The love I felt at the time
- was very real. Just because the relationship doesn't last doesn't mean that
- the love can't last. Of course, the love will change. The love I felt for
- the first is no longer the intense, passionate love I felt. It's more of a
- concern and hope that he's happy in the life he has now.
-
- >I like to listen to soppy songs... Relive memories...
-
- This is something that gets easier with time.
-
- >and kid myself with stuff like...
-
- >"I don't wan't to lose you now...
- >Were gonna get through somehow..." Gloria Estefaan
-
- Oh sigh! Gloria Estefan's songs were what seemed to bring me together with
- him four years ago. Actually, Gloria's got a ton of these songs!
-
- >but the bottom line is...
-
- >"there is no-one to blame
- > it's just not the same
- > and its never gonna be the same again..."
- >You have to convince yourself...
- >"You know it's over and you've got to say good-bye"
-
- >OTher important thing is not to lock yourself away feeling sorry
- >for yourself never meeting people or enjoying life - that *will*
- >make it take longer.
-
- Seconding the advice: Get out of your room and do something. Meet people.
- Get a new hobby. The best way for me to get over a breakup is to keep
- busy, busy, busy. Pretty soon you realize that you haven't thought of
- your ex for a whole evening! Amazing!
-
- >And before you quite know it... someone else *will* pop into your
- >life (I *can* vouch for that too (Hi Kezzle!)) or, to quote Cher
- >again...
-
- This is definitely true!
-
- Take care!
-
- Sharon
- oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu
-
-