NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #16/NN_1992_16.iso/spool/talk/bizarre/23826

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From: [e-mail] (Allen Williams (co-op))
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.angst,alt.prose,alt.smouldering.dog.zone
Subject: FRED, THE BOY EVERYONE HATED (STORY!)
Keywords: Deep down inside, you're a Fred
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Date: 29 Jul 92 12:37:20 GMT
Organization: Computer Consoles Incorporated
Lines: 188



                  -+*<   Fred    >*+-

---------------------------------------------------------------

 Fred woke up one morning, with the birds chirping outside his
window, the sun shining, and the faint aroma of flowers and nectar
wafted into his room. Fred rubbed the dried tears from his eyes,
feeling sad and upset.
 "Everybody hates me." Said Fred, and he was right.
 Fred's mother walked into the room, and yelled  harshly,  "Fred,
you're  going  to  be  late  for school! Get dressed and eat your
breakfast before I spank you!"
 Fred got  up  slowly  and  pulled  on  his  clothes.  He  walked
downstairs  and sat down at the kitchen table. Fred hated getting
up for school, because  all  the  kids  made  fun  of  him.  Just
thinking  about  it  made  Fred  sniff, and his eyes brimmed with
tears.
 "Oh geez, Fred, you're such a loser!"  taunted  Sally,  who  sat
opposite him, "You're such an embarrasment to this family!"
 "Your sister's right, Fred. Now eat your cereal, the bus will be
here any minute!" his mother snapped.
 Fred glumly ate his cereal, and went out to the corner  to  wait
for the bus.  The other kids in the bus stop stopped talking when
Fred showed up, and rolled their eyes. Fred heard whispering  and
a  bunch of girls to one side made gagging motions while pointing
at Fred.
 Fred looked at his  shoes  morosely.  Bill,  one  of  the  first
graders,  walked up to Fred and said, "Hey stupid! You have a bug
on your shirt!"
 Fred looked  down,  but  failed  to  find  any  wayward  insect.
Shrieking  with laugher, Bill kicked him in the shins and all the
people burst out laughing.  Fred turned red with embarrasment.
 Presently, the school bus pulled up, and all the kids walked  up
the steps.  Fred was the last person in line, but as he was going
to step up, the bus driver  pulled  the  door  shut.  "Hey  kid!"
shouted the bus driver, "There's no room for jerks like you in my
bus! FInd some other way to school, wimp!"
 Fred watched the bus receede to the distance.  The  girl  scouts
who  sat in the rear stuck their tounges at Fred. Fred sighed and
walked toward school.
 Fred was half an hour late to school, and was  sent,  tired  and
thirsty,  to  the  administrator's  office. Fred walked up to Mr.
White's desk and looked at Mr. White's lips curling in disgust.
 "Oh, it's you." Mr. White said with revulsion, "Why haven't  you
transferred  to  some  other  school  by  now?" Fred shrugged his
shoulders and looked down at his shirt.
 "Now you keep coming to school late. Don't you have any sense of
disclipine?   Do  you  know where they send bad boys like you to?
Reform school! That's where you belong, understand?"
 Fred tried to explain about the errant bus driver but Mr.  White
wouldn't listen.
 "Oh just shut up. I'm sick of your pathetic excuses. You are  to
go  to  detention for a whole month until you shape up, or better
yet, ship out!"
 Fred walked away and went to his first class. When he opened the
door,  all  his classmates groaned when they saw him. "Oh, puke!"
they yelled, "It's stupid Fred!".
 Fred walked down to his desk and ignored all the people pinching
their nose as if Fred stank. Fred didn't understand, as he took a
bath the night before.  Fred took out  a  pencil  and  paper  and
tried to follow what the teacher, Mrs.  Puce, was saying.
 "So what's the answer, Fred?" sneered Mrs.  Puce.  Fred  didn't
know the question, as he had just walked in.
 Fred stammered and asked her to repeat  the  question.  Instead,
she  turned  to  the class and said, "Can anyone tell me why Fred
doesn't know the answer?"
 Sally raised her hand and said, "Because Fred is stupid!"
 "Very good, Sally!" said Mrs.  Puce,  "does  anyone  else  know
why?"
 "Because he's a moron!"
 "Because he has cooties!"
 "Because he's funny looking!"
 "Good, good, good!" said Mrs. Puce, "Fred,  because  you're  an
imbecile, go sit in the corner until class is over!"
 Fred shuffled to the corner. A spitball whizzed by his ear.
 Fred sat in the corner and drew outlines around the marks on the
seat. Soon it was time for recess.
 Fred hated recess, as everyone tried to beat him up.
 Fred walked out to the playground, trying to avoid the big  mean
sixth  graders.   But it was pointless, as everyone liked to beat
up Fred.
 "Hey, there's Fred!" said Wanda, "Let's throw rocks at him!"
 And they did. Not small pebbles, but big stones. Fred  tried  to
duck  the  best  he  could,  but one caught him in the lip and it
started to bleed.
 Fred wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and looked up to see Biff,
the biggest and meanest sixth grader in the playground.
 "You snot!" growled Biff, and grabbed Fred. Biff picked up  Fred
and  threw  him face down across the gravel underneath the monkey
bars. Biff gaffawed and walked away. Fred was about to  pull  him
up, when he felt a painful blow across his ribs.
 Fred looked up and saw Mrs. Green, the playground monitor.
 "Get up, you stupid boy!" she shouted, "You're making a mess  on
the  gravel!"  Fred  tried to complain that Biff beat him up, but
Mrs. Green shoved Fred back and hissed, "I don't  care  what  you
say. You're just trying to make trouble for me and all of us! Now
go to the clinic and clean up or I'll put you on report!"
 Fred limped to the clinic. On the way, the  second  graders  hit
Fred with sticks and tried to trip him.
 Fred walked into the clinic, and Mrs. Black, the nurse,  stormed
to Fred and pulled his ear.
 "Look what you did! You make  too  much  trouble  for  me!"  she
yelled, "Why don't you just die or something?!?"
 Mrs. Black got out a big bottle of Bactine and  squirted  it  on
Fred's  face  without warning. The Bactine stung his eyes and all
the cuts on his face throbbed with pain. Gasping, Fred  felt  his
hair being pulled and a rough paper towel scrubbed his face dry.
 Mrs. Black pushed Fred out to the hall, and  when  he  recovered
his  vision,  he  saw Mr. Gold, the school principal, shaking his
head.
 "Young man, you're taking up space in the hall!  Go  away  so  I
won't have to look at you!"
 Fred turned around and started to walk  away.  He  felt  himself
being tripped and fell with a thud on the floor.
 "Clumsy boys don't belong to this school!" laughed Mr.  Gold  as
he faded down the hall.
 It was lunchtime, so Fred went to the  cafeteria.  He  took  his
lunch  bag  and  sat down at a table. Immediately everyone on the
table got up and moved. Fred took out his lunch, a peanut  butter
and jelly sandwich and a twinkie.
 "Have some yogurt!" someone shouted,  and  Fred  felt  something
cold and slimy shoved down the back of his shirt. Turning around,
he saw Sam, a fifth grader.  Sam squished Fred's shirt,  and  ran
away,  laughing.  While Fred had his back turned, his Twinkie was
snatched and stomped on, making a brown and white mess.
 Fred looked at the remains of his lunch when  he  felt  a  heavy
hand  grabbing  his shoulder. He looked up and saw Ms. Brown, the
lunch teacher.
 "You messy, stupid, idiotic boy!" shouted Ms.  Brown,  "are  you
going to eat your lunch or do I have to force feed you?"
 Fred tried to explain that it wasn't his fault,  but  Ms.  Brown
wouldn't  listen.   She grabbed Fred's collar and pushed him face
down on the squashed Twinkie on the floor.
 "You made a mess, now eat it!" she snarled, jabbing his ribs and
rubbing his face on the spongy treat with the creame filling.
 "You totally disgust me, you know!" she spat and kicked Fred, so
he went sprawling across the floor.
 Jeers and insults echoed in Fred's ears, and Fred tried to  wash
up at the water fountain.
 After lunch was gym, and Fred went to the gym. Nobody would  sit
next  to  him  since  the  yogurt  was starting to smell bad. Mr.
Lavender, the gym coach, was teaching basketball.
 "When passing the ball, you throw gently, so as the other person
can  catch  it.  On the other hand, when passing to Fred, you try
to break his nose!"
 Mr. Lavender threw the ball as hard as he could and hit Fred  in
the  face with a loud "thwang!". When Fred recovered, he felt his
nose. It wasn't broken, but it did hurt quite a bit.
 After school was over, Fred went to  detention  like  Mr.  White
told  him to.  After staring at the wall for a whole hour, he was
allowed to go home.
 Fred walked up to his door, and the mailman made his  rounds  at
Fred's house.
 "Here's your mail, jerk!" said the mailman, and threw a  handful
of  envelopes  at  Fred's  face. Fred picked up the mail and went
inside.
 Bowser, seeing Fred, growled and bit Fred  in  the  leg.  Bowser
tried  to  pull  Fred's  pants  cuff apart into shreads, but Fred
batted him away with the handful of mail.
 "Fred, stop being mean to the dog!"  shouted  his  mother,  "You
have  no sense of responsibility! You're a dissapointment to your
father and me!"
 Fred tried to explain that Bowser was the one who attacked  him,
but she wouldn't listen.
 "I just wish you were never born!" Fred's mother sighed.
 Fred couldn't take it any more. He stormed up to  his  room  and
slammed the door. Throwing himself across the bed, he unleashed a
series of sobs. Tears copiously ran down his cheeks.
 "Everybody hates me!" he sobbed, "Why does everyone hate me?"
 Fred soon calmed down and looked under his bed.  Under  his  bed
was  a  brown  paper  bag.  Picking  up  the  bag, he emptied the
contents on his bed.
 "I'm going to make everyone sorry that they ever hated me!" said
Fred, "I'm going to get even with everyone who is mean to me!"
 With that, Fred picked up a black box which  had  a  single  red
button and a crayon scrawl said, "Nuclear Detonation Device".
 Fred pressed the button.
 Downtown in the city Fred lived in, a small nuclear bomb  hidden
in  a  vacant  lot  exploded,  killing one hundred fifty thousand
people, and a half million  residents  suffered  from  protracted
radiation  sickness before finally dying in a puddle of their own
rancid bodily fluids.
 And true to Fred's word, the whole world  was  sorry  that  they
were mean to Fred.

                                                        Derrick