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- Path: sparky!uunet!olivea!isc-br!bunker!hcap!hnews!290!6!Ann.Thomas
- From: Ann.Thomas@f6.n290.z1.fidonet.org (Ann Thomas)
- Newsgroups: misc.handicap
- Subject: Re: Shoulder Amputation & Feelings
- Message-ID: <23284@handicap.news>
- Date: 24 Jul 92 13:40:17 GMT
- Sender: wtm@bunker.shel.isc-br.com
- Reply-To: Ann.Thomas@f6.n290.z1.fidonet.org
- Organization: FidoNet node 1:290/6 - Karma *VS* Dogma, Des Moines IA
- Lines: 85
- Approved: wtm@hnews.fidonet.org
- X-Fidonet: Amputee Conference
-
- Index Number: 23284
-
- [This is from the Amputee Conference]
-
- WB> THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE & CALLS. My wife was in the same room
- WB> and I was selfconscious & embarassed to talk on a feelings
- WB> level. I haave done OK in not upsetting her until a few days
- WB> ago we were driving and she asked me what I will miss most.
- WB> IMMEDIATELY without thinkin I said "Having 2 arms to hold you
- WB> with ..nothing else is as important" and started crying.
-
- I have been talking to Bear and agree with him that the crying
- is a good start. As for the part about having two arms to hold
- a lover. I have it on good information that when the mood is
- right the lack of limbs, or vestigal limbs work just as well,
- you just change position and technique.
-
- If your taking care of your self, your wife will be better able
- to deal with her own self care.
-
- WB> Since Dr. Ezacki said that she thought shoulder disarticulation
- WB> was the thing to do; my mental status has improved: I now can
- WB> remember a 7 digit phone number long enough to make a phone
- WB> call, I no longer wake up depressed or anxious, there is no
- WB> depression or conscious anxiety at bed time (had to get
- WB> sleeping pill to go to sellp ofter sleeping 1 time for 2 hours
- WB> in three dayY (YES, Denile is neiter in Egypt nor a river- HA!.
-
- Sounds like your worrying about tomarrow a lot. It doesn't
- matter. Take care of today and tomarrow will just fall into
- place. ODAAT! Bear says your a believer. Well, my experience
- that the Goddess [or whomever your personal higher power is]
- always semms to take care of me. Not the way "I" want it, just
- ok in the long way. The trick is doing today and letting your
- HP take care of tomarrow.
-
- WB> For years I was & told my patientsthat I was "licing death on
- WB> Valium". This was because of not wantin g people to develop
- WB> cross addictions, valium addictionrebound anxiety, impairmn at
- WB> work or driving the person dosen't realize and a smug desire to
- WB> be superior as well as a belief that except for (a) persons
- WB> with potentially life threating diseases such as colitusm &
- WB> etc. and (b) folks who had to tell their kids that a parent
- WB> died oe need help thru an extremely stressful 24-72 hour
- WB> period; it wasn't a good way to treat anxiety. NOW I'M HAVING
- WB> TO TAKE VALIUM BECAUSE OF THE MUSCLE SPASMS IN MY
- WB> NON-FUNCTIONAL ARM (no place else) and I'm eating crow.
-
- Its what you have to do. Pull the Recovery echo and talk to
- Nadine Thomas about having to use medications that otherwise are
- addictive. I think I will forward this message to Nadine and
- then cross post her reply. OK? She is really sweet person with
- several disabling conditions, and major pain/energy problems.
-
- WB> Dr. Ezaki couln'd get both an OR & a qualified assistant until
- WB> 8-17. 8-12-90 was when I was attacked. 8-91 Charlotte had a
- WB> major depression & also was planning to divorce me, 8-17-92 a
-
- Ya know that digging up the past over something like this really
- makes it harder. While it needed that issues rom the past need
- to be grieved, if they are brought up as a form of pity then
- they become distructive. Take my word for it, I am an expert.
- In one of the 12 step programs they have a saying about beuing
- in the past and in the future; If one foot is in the past, and
- the other is in the future your pissing all over today.
-
- WB> So we are headed to see Dr. J. Ryy at Thomason Hospital Tech.
- WB> Tech. Medical School in El Paso. Dr. Ruy leave & moves to
- WB> Virgnias the end of this month! --- MacWoof Eval:03May92
-
- I already know that you were too sick for the surgery. It will
- happen when its supposed to, not one instant earlier or later.
- Let your God take care of it while you do the work needed today.
- Take care of your self. you sound like you have a cat-a-9-tails
- out and have been beating your self with it.
-
- Be kind to yourself. OK?
-
- 'Here's hooking at ya, babe.' Anna
-
- ... A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
-
- --
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