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- Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
- Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!auvm!AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU!ROLLIDE
- Message-ID: <TEST%92072315270364@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
- Newsgroups: bit.listserv.test
- Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:22:00 -05
- Sender: TESTing list for NETNEWS <TEST@PSUVM.BITNET>
- Comments: Warning -- original Sender: tag was SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM
- From: Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
- Subject: CONFIDENTIAL
- Comments: To: Multiple recipients of list SBRHYM-L <SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
- Lines: 47
-
- Look. This is just between you and me, okay? Normally I wouldn't tell
- anybody my problems, but it's just that this thing has snowballed and
- snowballed until it's been blown WAY out of proportion and it's begun
- to threaten my mental equilibrium. My proctologist told me I need to
- externalize these feelings - get them out in the open - where I can
- distance myself from them and perhaps gain a more dispassionate
- perspective from which to work toward solving the core dilemma. That's
- easy for her to say!
- Let me start from the beginning.
- The Dept. of Redundancy Dept. (where I am currently employed as a
- supervisor) is a state-funded operation. This is the third year in a
- row that our budget has been drastically cut - a result of unilateral
- proration that is crippling the state of Alabama - and I received the
- painful news that I would have to make further cutbacks on my staff.
- This is the third time in as many years that I've had to make the
- difficult decision which of my fine workers to lay off. I discussed
- this with my supervisor and we came to the mutual conclusion that the
- cut would have to come in my morning crew, which only consists of two
- workers, Jack and Amy. They've both been superlative employees in the
- short time that they've worked for me and have proved equally capable
- in the performance of their duties, so it wasn't going to be an easy
- choice to make. They had no idea the axe was poised to strike again
- and their feelings of job security that I now knew to be unfounded did
- little to make the task before me less onerous. I decided I would
- secretly follow them this morning and observe their work habits. The
- one who showed the most drive and enthusiasm would be the one I would
- ask to stay.
- I'd followed them for an hour when Amy left her post and went to the
- water fountain. She took a couple of aspirin and leaned against the
- wall for a minute before returning to her assignment. About thirty
- minutes later she again went to the fountain. Jack, meanwhile, had
- continued working diligently. After Amy left her post for the third
- time within two hours I sadly decided that she would be the one who had
- to go.
- I approached her from my hidden vantage point and confronted her at the
- water fountain as she was washing down another aspirin.
- "Amy, I don't know how to tell you this" I said, "so I'm just going to
- come right out and say that I'm faced with a very hard decision right
- now. I'm either going to have to lay you or Jack off."
- She looked shocked and told me, "Well, I'm afraid you're just going to
- have to jack off - I've got a splitting headache"!
- What do I do now? She completely misunderstood!
- Oh, why does life have to be so complex?
-
-
- Sitting In A Cheap Puddle Of Anxiety,
- Felonious J. Cube
-