NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #16/NN_1992_16.iso/spool/alt/support/1168

Text File | 1992-07-24 | 1.9 KB | 40 lines

Newsgroups: alt.support
Path: sparky!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!usc!wupost!micro-heart-of-gold.mit.edu!news.media.mit.edu!ben
From: [e-mail] (Benjamin Kline Lowengard)
Subject: My adjustments
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Sender: [e-mail] (USENET News System)
Organization: MIT Media Laboratory
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 14:33:22 GMT
Lines: 29

Hello folks,

I'm in unfamiliar territory and am trying very hard to figure out how to
cope with a problem. I have a very close friend in recovery for a variety
of situations. Alanon, OA and analysis are helping this person's adjustment.
I have supported each step forward, and have encouraged these monumental
changes in both of our lives. Things seemed to be getting better for us,our
bond growing stronger. All of a sudden-I was shut down. No explanation, a
brief moment of "I love you but don't contact me, get on with your life.",
the times contact was made-and this was before that ultimatum-I could tell
there was more to this than I could fathom. I'm doing my best, but it's
very very painful. Love is not something I take for granted, nor think of in
completely selfish terms.The only explanation I come up with is that my friend
started a program in Co-depedancy. Yet I know nothing about this.It's
funny(not) but we used to discuss how families and relationships can get
broken up through the trauma drawn from evaluating oneself in Recovery
Programs. I never thought I would go through what I am now going through.
 In all honesty, I do love this person-enough to respect and support even
these abrupt changes-though the loss of this friendship,the confusion I
have,and mostly, the absence of communication is extremely painful. Though
the initial shock is over, I am still uncomfortable. I have help and other
encouraging friends yet I still am wondering about co-dependancy.
Your response, either public(since this is a forum) or private would be
greatly appreciated.

-Thanks
-ben