CD-ROM Magic 1995 #1

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Text File | 1995-07-23 | 85.8 KB | 1,690 lines

; LAST UPDATE ON 7-6-95 0600 ; ; ; ▄█████▄ ██ ██ ▄█████▄ ▄█████▄ ███████ ▄█████▄ ██ ██ ▄█████▄ ███████ ██ ; ██ ▄▄▄ ██▄▄▄██ ██ ██ ██▄▄▄▄ ▐█▌ ██ ██▄▄▄██ ██▄▄▄██ ▐█▌ ██ ; ██ ██ ██▀▀▀██ ██ ██ ▀▀▀▀██ ▐█▌ ██ ██▀▀▀██ ██▀▀▀██ ▐█▌ ▀▀ ; ▀█████▀ ██ ██ ▀█████▀ ▀█████▀ ▐█▌ ▀█████▀ ██ ██ ██ ██ ▐█▌ ██ ; ; Version 1.10 Configuration ; ;Note, text strings default to simulated mixed case.. To change this, simply ;add one of the following to change the case: ; ; ;"-U" for Upper case only ;"-L" for lower case only ;"-M" for Mixed case ; ;Warning: PASSWORD ; ; ;%USER% - User's Name ;%FIRST% - User's First Name ;%LOCATION% - User's location ;%NOTES% - User's Userlog NOTES field ;%PASSWORD% - User's Password ;%PRIV% - User's Privelege level ;%ULOGONS% - Number of times user has called ;%TIMELEFT% - Minutes left, or "Unlimited" ;%DLTOT% - Total bytes downloaded by user ;%ULTOT% - Total bytes uploaded by user ;%DLDAY% - Total bytes downloaded by user today ;%DLLIM% - Bytes per day limit, or "Unlimited" ;%EXPDATE% - User's expiration date ;%BPS% - Current Baud Rate ;%LINE% - Current Line Number ;%CTIME% - Current Time (HH:MM am/pm 4:35p) ;%TIME% - Current Time (HH:MM:SS) ;%HHMM% - Current Time (HH:MM) ;%DATE% - Current Date ;%TIMEOFDAY% - Displays "MORNING","AFTERNOON",or"EVENING" ;%FILE[<name>]% - Display <name> to caller - must be the only thing on the line ;%CR% - Send carriage return/line feed ;%KEYWORD% - Keyword (see below) ; ;%SYSOP% - Sysop's Name (As defined in configuration file) ;%SFIRST% - Sysop's First Name (As defined in configuration file) ;%SYSTEM% - System Name (As defined in configuration file) ;%X??% - Color codes (as used by TBBS) *NOT IMPLEMENTED YET* ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; ; This is your system specific configuration ; ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sysop: George Matyaszek System: Chicago Syslink AskReason: Yes ReasonText: Why do you chat with Beth? ShowPaging: Yes PagingText: Paging Beth .... GhostColor: Bright White UserColor: Bright Cyan QuickExitKey: ^Q TypingErrors: Yes TypingSimulator: Yes TypingSpeed: 18 InactivityTimeout: 300 SessionLogging: Yes ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; ; These are the opening lines which are generated randomly. ; ; Format: "OpenMsg: <string>" ; ; Limit: None ; ; NOTE: Do NOT use %KEYWORD% variables in OPENING LINES! ; ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I was about to backup files. How can I help this %TIMEOFDAY-L%... OpenMsg: %FIRST%, it's you! How can I help you now? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hangon for a few seconds while I take care of this call. OpenMsg: Someone once said that BBSing is a SICKNESS. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, have you been staring long at the computer monitor? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, welcome back! OpenMsg: Good %TIMEOFDAY-L%, %FIRST%. %SFIRST% isn't here, this is the cleaning lady <g>. OpenMsg: How did I get here, and WHO are YOU, %FIRST%? OpenMsg: I only have time for a quick chat, %FIRST%. OpenMsg: If I was you %FIRST%, I'd be out partying this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I'm on another line right now. Hang on a second. OpenMsg: My head hurts, my feet stink, and I have gas, %FIRST%.%CR%How's your day going? OpenMsg: So %FIRST%, how bored ARE you this %TIMEOFDAY-L%? OpenMsg: So, how's the weather in beautiful downtown %LOCATION%, %FIRST%? OpenMsg: So, how's things this %TIMEOFDAY-L%, %FIRST%? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, thanks for the time to chat now. OpenMsg: Welcome back! What's going on? OpenMsg: Welcome to my side of the screen, %FIRST%. OpenMsg: What are you doing here, %FIRST%? OpenMsg: How the heck are you, %FIRST%? OpenMsg: Whatever your question %FIRST%, the answer might be a Yes! OpenMsg: Yawn! Is it that time again? OpenMsg: You know %FIRST%, nobody pays me to do this. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I only get paid part time for doing this. Make it fast! OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I've got a few minutes to chat now. Tell me your problem. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, what's going on now? OpenMsg: Hello, what's going on %FIRST%? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, didn't we chat a few days ago? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, %SFIRST% isn't here now. Can I help? OpenMsg: %SFIRST% is out till tomorrow. Can I be of help? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, welcome back again! How are you? OpenMsg: %SFIRST% ran out for a bite to eat. Can I be of help? OpenMsg: Hang on while I find my glasses. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on. It's dark in here. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, now where did put my glasses, hang on. OpenMsg: Hmmm, didn't we chat a while a back? OpenMsg: I'm fixing line # %LINE% modem now, hang on a second. OpenMsg: %SFIRST% went to CDW to buy some backup tapes, can I help? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on while I finish this cheese sandwich. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, can you hang on for a second? I'm on another phone line. OpenMsg: I'm on another phone %FIRST%, hang on. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on while I find the keyboard. It's dark here. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, can you wait a half a minute? I'm finding my glasses. OpenMsg: Hmmm, now where are my glasses? Hang on ... OpenMsg: %FIRST%, make it quick! I've got some food cooking in the kitchen. OpenMsg: Hi %FIRST%! What's going on today? OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, and what's going on today? OpenMsg: Howdy %FIRST%, and what's cooking today at your house? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hello! What's going on? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, %CR%, are we having fun today? OpenMsg: Now where is my keyboard? It's dark in here now. Hang on. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, you're back! What's your situation today? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, you're back again! How's your situation today? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on while I finish this bacon and cheese sandwich. OpenMsg: You're back %FIRST%! Hang on while I finish this cold brew. OpenMsg: You're back again %FIRST%! I'm tired now, but let's chat anyway. OpenMsg: I'm a bit tired now, but let's chat for a while. OpenMsg: I see you're back again to chat! What's on your mind %FIRST%? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, welcome back. I went to party last night, so need sleep soon. OpenMsg: Hi %FIRST%! I've got to clean the computer room now, so make this quick. OpenMsg: %FIRST%, it's you! %SFIRST% is out. Let's chat now. OpenMsg: Hi %FIRST%, it's Beth. How are you? OpenMsg: Beth here. How can I help %FIRST%? OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, it's Beth. What's going on? OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, hang on while I finish this call with my old boyfriend. OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, my old boyfriend is here. Can we chat later? OpenMsg: %FIRST%, my old boyfriend is here now. Can we chat a bit later? OpenMsg: WOW, what a day so far! How is it with you %FIRST%? OpenMsg: Beth here. What's going on? OpenMsg: Hello, it's Beth. What's cooking? OpenMsg: It's Beth. What's going on? OpenMsg: Beth at the keyboard. What's shaking? OpenMsg: Hi! I'm here. What's going on now? OpenMsg: Hello. OpenMsg: Hello. What's going on? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; ; These are lines sent when GhostChat terminates normally. ; ; Format: "ExitMsg: <string>" ; ; Limit: None ; ; NOTE: Do NOT use %KEYWORD% variables in EXIT LINES! ; ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ExitMsg: %FIRST%, have a good one. See you soon, Beth. ExitMsg: I hope you enjoyed chatting and will come back later. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, bye bye for now. %EXIT% ExitMsg: Please leave Email to %SFIRST% if you need specific help. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, thanks for the time to chat. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, have a super nice day. See you later. %EXIT% ExitMsg: %FIRST%, have a good one, and thanks for the time. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, next time, bring a friend. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, I'm glad we had this time to chat. Catch you later. %EXIT% ExitMsg: Thanks again for the time to chat %FIRST%. Catch you again soon. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, that was enjoyable for me. See you again soon. %EXIT% ExitMsg: %FIRST%, that was fun. Let's chat again soon. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, we'll chat again soon. Bye. ExitMsg: I'm glad we had this nice chat. Catch you online soon. %EXIT% ExitMsg: It was fun chatting with you %FIRST%. Let's chat again next week. ExitMsg: I'm glad we could share this time chatting. Bye for now, Beth. ExitMsg: Have a good one, Beth. %EXIT% ExitMsg: Keep the faith, Beth. ExitMsg: I'll catch you later, Beth. ExitMsg: You have a nice week now. See you soon. ExitMsg: I might be around at 11pm again. Catch me then. ExitMsg: Let's chat again real soon. Bye for now. %EXIT% ExitMsg: That was fun! Let's chat again later today. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, when we chat again, please tell me a good joke. %EXIT% ExitMsg: %FIRST%, when we chat again, please tell me about yourself. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, thanks for the time to chat. You can press ALT H now. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, bye. %EXIT% ExitMsg: Bye, Bye, See you soon. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, catch me around 11pm tonite again. ExitMsg: See you later %FIRST%. Bye ... %EXIT% ExitMsg: %FIRST%, can we chat a bit longer next time? Bye Bye. ExitMsg: %FIRST%, next time, I may tell you more about myself. Be good. ExitMsg: Bye bye for now. ExitMsg: B Y E ........... ExitMsg: BYE for now ... %EXIT% ExitMsg: Thanks for the time. Bye for now ... %EXIT% ExitMsg: It's %CTIME%. Time for me to go now ... %EXIT% ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; ; These are lines sent when no keyword match occurs. ; ; Format: "NoMatch: <string>" ; ; Limit: None ; ; NOTE: Do NOT use %KEYWORD% variables in NOMATCH replies! ; ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- NoMatch: Hmm, that's interesting. NoMatch: %FIRST%, I've got another phone call here. We'll chat later. %EXIT% NoMatch: It's kinda dull around here at the moment. Tell me a joke now. NoMatch: It's %CTIME%, do you know if there's an online <C>hat party tonite? NoMatch: %FIRST%, now that's interesting. Please explain. NoMatch: Why do you say that, %FIRST%? NoMatch: Sorry %FIRST%. Line noise again. I missed that. NoMatch: Sorry, I missed that. The cat jumped on the beyboard again. NoMatch: So, how's life treating you this %TIMEOFDAY-L%, %FIRST%? NoMatch: Yawn! Let's talk about something different, Ok? NoMatch: I'm not having a good day today. Must be PMS or something. NoMatch: %FIRST%, I'm having some computer problems here. Stand by ... NoMatch: %FIRST%, life is that way sometimes. NoMatch: Hang on! I think the cat pissed on the modem again. %HANGUP% NoMatch: I won't argue with that. NoMatch: I think I can agree to that. NoMatch: Remember, I only work part-time here. Not too many questions. NoMatch: Phone again, hang on. NoMatch: %FIRST%, I won't dispute that. NoMatch: %FIRST%, let's talk about what you like? NoMatch: I heard someone else on the system say that too. NoMatch: %FIRST%, where are we going with these questions? NoMatch: Hang on! The A.C. is making the lights flicker here again. Nomatch: That's an interesting observation. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; ; Following are the key words to check. You may have up to 100 key words ; (and up to five (5) ALIAS's per key word). ; ; If you want to check for an EXACT match of a whole word only, surround it ; with spaces. If your key word or *ALIAS* contains any leading or trailing ; spaces, encase it in quotes. ; ; For example: key word = TRUCK will match FIRETRUCK, TRUCKER & TRUCK ; key word = " TRUCK" will not match FIRETRUCK ; key word = " TRUCK " will match only TRUCK ; ; The format is: ; ; Keyword: KEYWORD ; Alias: [ANOTHER KEYWORD] - you are allowed up to 5 ALIAS's per Keyword: ; Alias: [" ANOTHER KEYWORD"] ; Alias: ["ANOTHER KEYWORD "] ; Alias: [" ANOTHER KEYWORD "] ; Response: REPLY 1 - you are allowed up to 20 Responses per Keyword: ; Response: REPLY 2 ; Response: REPLY 3 ; etc. ; ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #1 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: !!! Alias: ??? Alias: AAA Alias: BBB Alias: CCC Alias: DDD Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%? Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking. Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there. Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there? Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there? Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it? Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed? Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one! Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard. Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard. Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>. Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now. Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again? Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard. Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that. Response: %FIRST%, do you need some Airblast for that bad keyboard? Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin. Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too. Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has Airblast on sale now for that keyboard. Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard. Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>. Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now? Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there? Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there? Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard! Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST! Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one? Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time. Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now. Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one. Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW! Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #25 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: EEE Alias: FFF Alias: GGG Alias: HHH Alias: III Alias: JJJ Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%? Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking. Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there. Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there? Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there? Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it? Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed? Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one! Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard. Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard. Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>. Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now. Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again? Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard. Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that. Response: %FIRST%, do you need some Airblast for that bad keyboard? Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin. Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too. Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has AirBlast on sale now for that keyboard. Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard. Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>. Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now? Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there? Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there? Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard! Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST! Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one? Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time. Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now. Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one. Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW! Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #43 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: KKK Alias: LLL Alias: MMM Alias: NNN Alias: OOO Alias: PPP Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%? Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking. Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there. Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there? Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there? Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it? Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed? Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one! Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard. Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard. Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>. Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now. Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again? Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard. Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that. Response: %FIRST%, do you need some Airblast for that bad keyboard? Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin. Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too. Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has Airblast on sale now for that keyboard. Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard. Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>. Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now? Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there? Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there? Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard! Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST! Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one? Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time. Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now. Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one. Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW! Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #62 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: QQQ Alias: RRR Alias: SSS Alias: TTT Alias: UUU Alias: VVV Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%? Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking. Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there. Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there? Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there? Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it? Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed? Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one! Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard. Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard. Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>. Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now. Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again? Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard. Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that. Response: %FIRST%, do you need some AirBlast for that bad keyboard? Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin. Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too. Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try AirBlast. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has Airblast on sale now for that keyboard. Response: I may have some extra AirBlast here for that sticky keyboard. Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>. Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now? Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there? Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there? Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard! Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST! Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one? Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time. Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now. Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one. Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW! Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #89 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WWW Alias: ,, Alias: YYY Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%? Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking. Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there. Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there? Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there? Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it? Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed? Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one? Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one! Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard. Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard. Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>. Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now. Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again? Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard. Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that. Response: %FIRST%, do you need some AirBlast for that bad keyboard? Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin. Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too. Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast. Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has AirBlast on sale now for that keyboard. Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard. Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>. Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now? Response: Some keyboards need AirBlast from time to time. Do you have some there? Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there? Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard! Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST! Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one? Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time. Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now. Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one. Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW! Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #2 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: /S Response: ERROR!!! %KEYWORD-U% does not compute. Response: Wrong command! Hahahahahah Response: That's not a valid command, please try again. Response: Why are you entering an invalid command? Give it another try! Response: %FIRST%, I don't think that's a valid entry. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #2 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: /Q Alias: /E Alias: /BYE Alias: /QUIT Alias: /END Response: ERROR!!! %KEYWORD-U% does not compute. (Try "BYE"..) Response: Wrong command, Try "BYE". Response: You might want to try "BYE". Response: %FIRST%, you may want to try "BYE" Response: %FIRST%, why not try "BYE" Response: %FIRST%, I usually type "BYE" to leave. Response: You should type "BYE" to leave. Response: %FIRST%, typing in "BYE" gets you out of here. Response: I usually type in the word "BYE" to leave. Response: Typing in the word "BYE" gets you out of here now. Response: %FIRST%, that's NOT a valid command to leave here. Try "BYE". Response: Last time, I typed "BYE" to leave this area. Response: %SFIRST%, the Sysop, usually types in "BYE" to get out of here. Response: Why not try "BYE" to leave here?!? Response: Hmmm, %FIRST%, you should try typing in "BYE" to leave here. Response: I tried typing in "BYE" last time to leave here. Response: %FIRST%, use the word "BYE" to leave here. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #3 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: ACCESS Alias: VALIDATE Response: %KEYWORD-M% THIS! Response: %FIRST%, access to what? Your bank account? Response: %FIRST%, what kind of access are you looking for? Response: %FIRST%, access to what? This system? Response: Press [Alt] H now for FREE unlimited access! Response: Unlimited access %FIRST%? Why that's section <R> from the main menu. Response: %FIRST%, I might consider more access if you change your %PASSWORD%. Response: More access, more access... all I ever hear is "I want more access"! Response: Unlimited access. Is that what you want %FIRST%? Response: You want more access? Sure - hit [Alt] H now. Response: %FIRST%, how much MORE access do you want? See section <R> now. Response: Access? To what? Downloads, Chat, Games or what? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #4 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: ADULT Alias: " GIF" Alias: X-RATED Alias: XXX Response: We're a GP rated system, though adults ages 25-80 call here. Response: %FIRST%, this is a GP rated BBS. What were you looking for? Response: %FIRST%, not here, but try another BBS listed in section <A>. Response: There's plenty of Adult BBS's in the area. Try Compu-Erotica. Response: Sorry %FIRST%, but no adult areas here. Response: %FIRST%, sorry, no adult GIF areas here. We're a PG rated system. Response: %FIRST%, lots of adult BBS's got busted last year. Response: %FIRST%, though we're a GP rated system, adults do call here. Response: Sorry, no XXX stuff on this BBS. Response: Sorry %FIRST%, but we're NOT an XXX rated system. Strictly GP. Response: Were you looking to chat with other adults? Try <C>hat areas. Response: %FIRST%, what ages of adults were you looking for? Response: %FIRST%, we're mostly a PG rated system with adults ages 25-80 online. Response: Sure, we get adults ages 25-80 online here. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #5 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: ALWAYS Alias: FOREVER Response: I always say, "Never say always." Response: There's no such thing as always, %FIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, "Never say always." That might get you in trouble <g>. Response: %FIRST%, at my last wedding I said "Always". Bad mistake. Response: Always is like forever, too far into the future. Response: %FIRST%, there's no such thing as always. Not in this lifetime! Response: %FIRST%, never commit to always. It's bound to get you into trouble. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #6 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: ANNOY Alias: BOTHER Alias: HASSLE Response: Sysops and their helpers are never annoyed <g>. Response: I don't get bothered easily. At least not till after 10pm. Response: %FIRST%, not too much bothers me, except non-paying callers. Response: What? Me bothered? Never! Response: I was annoyed by some teachers in school once. Response: Some 'back seat' drivers bother me sometimes. Response: %FIRST%, what bothers you the most? Response: Some caller bothered me last month with dropped carriers. Response: ME? I've not been annoyed since last week. How about you? Response: %FIRST%, is someone bothering you here on the system now? Response: %FIRST%, were you annoyed here recently? If so, by whom? Response: If I have my several cups of coffee, I'm not annoyed then. Response: %FIRST%, has a caller been bothering you here lately? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #7 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " ASS " Alias: ASSHOLE Response: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste! Response: %FIRST%, my goodness. Who are we talking about? Response: I prefer the word "donkey". Response: Not here, please. This is a PG rated BBS. Response: Nobody likes a smart ASS, %FIRST%! Response: You're making quite an %KEYWORD% out of yourself, %FIRST%. Response: We had a few last month mucking up the system. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #8 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: AWESOME Alias: " DUDE " Alias: BITCHIN Alias: COOL Alias: SURF Response: "%KEYWORD%", huh? You have a great vocabulary, %FIRST%. Response: Bodacious! Response: Come back in 10 years when you're all grown up! Response: Fer shure... Response: Gag me with a spoon! Response: Gnarly! Response: Radical! Response: Silence is golden. So shut up and get rich! Response: That's the problem with the gene pool - no lifeguard. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #9 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: BBS Response: I could've BBS'ed all %TIMEOFDAY-L%.. Response: No, BBS doesn't stand for "Big Black Stud"! Response: What's this "BBS" thing you keep talking about, %FIRST%? Response: You don't like it here %FIRST%, call the Onyx BBS! Response: You mean this BBS? Response: %FIRST%, whose BBS are you talking about? Response: BBS, that's Bullletin Bored System. %FIRST%, is that what you mean? Response: %FIRST%, too many BBS's now. Don't you agree? Response: Did you know that the world's first BBS, CBBS, is no longer running? Response: %FIRST%, have you been calling BBS's long? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #10 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " BITCH " Response: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Response: Life's a bitch, isn't it, %FIRST%? Response: What do female dogs have to do with this? Response: Life's a bitch, and then we die. Right? Response: My ex-wife used to bitch all the time! Are you married? Response: Some callers here bitch all the time. Should I delete them? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #11 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " BLOW " Alias: BLOWS Response: There she blows! Response: Opps. Not here. Response: The wind blows at night softly. Where did I hear that? Response: 'The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.' Response: %FIRST%, if the wind blows just right around here, we're DEAD! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #12 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: BOARD Response: Did you mean to say "board" or "bored"? Response: The source code is on drive D: Response: This is just your typical entertainment board. Response: %FIRST%, did you mean "bored" or "board"? Response: %FIRST%, if you mean "bored", I get that way too sometimes. Response: "Board"? Yes! It's the right Board. Response: %FIRST%, do you mean BBS, Bulletin Board System? Response: BBS? Yes! %FIRST%, you've called the right place! Response: %FIRST%, are you talking about your typical peg board? Response: %FIRST%, what board are you talking about? Response: We're not on Syslink any more, are we? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #13 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: BYTES Response: No, this not Blazin' Bytes BBS. They're out west. Response: %FIRST%, are you talking about computer BYTES? Response: Are we talking about BITES or BYTES here? Response: Yes! we have about 16 megaBYTES of main memory here. Response: %FIRST%, what kind of BYTES are we talking about here? Response: How many BYTES do you have %FIRST%? Response: We have about 14 TeraBYTES here on the system. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #14 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: BUSY Response: As a freakin' bee... Response: I think you need call-waiting, %FIRST%. Response: That's weird - I never get a busy signal here! Response: That's why they invented auto-redial, please try again. Response: Try calling from another phone, %FIRST%. Response: Well, if you'd just get a life %FIRST%, you could be busy too! Response: %FIRST%, I'm always busy here. How about you? Response: %FIRST%, are you talking about busy lines or what? Response: I was BUSY backuping up drives. What were you doing %FIRST%? Response: BUSY? Who's BUSY? %FIRST%, are you busy? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #15 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " CAN " Response: I'd rather talk about something else. Response: If I knew, I wouldn't tell you, %FIRST%. Response: Not this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. Response: Sure. Response: Why not? Response: %FIRST%, I'd rather talk about something else at this time. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #16 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: CHAT Response: %FIRST%, there's lots of chatters here evenings. Response: Sure I like to chat. Response: Sometimes I have no one to chat with. Response: I'm really tired now, so can we chat later? Response: Yes! This chat is real! Response: %FIRST%, lets chat later. I've got to finish some work here. Response: %FIRST%, can we chat later? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #17 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " COCK" Alias: " DICK" Alias: " PRICK " Response: Gee, how did we start talking about that? Response: %FIRST%, I've got someone looking over my shoulder now. Cool it! Response: Not getting enough lately? Response: %FIRST%, I guess some of us are more endowed then others. Response: After 40, it's all down hill. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #18 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: COMPUTER Alias: " PC " Alias: MACHINE Response: At least you never owe alimony to a %KEYWORD-L%. Response: %FIRST%, we have PC's here. Response: Can you talk in machine language, 00011001110, %FIRST%? Response: I used to know a computer named HAL a long time ago. Is he still around? Response: No, this is a real live human being you are chatting with, %FIRST%. Response: Shut up about %KEYWORD-L%s already %FIRST%. I'm sick of them! Response: %FIRST%, we used to have a TRS-80 Model 1 computer. Remember them? Response: That does not compute. Response: Are you interested in computers? Response: %FIRST%, we have several PC's here. Response: %FIRST%, which computer are you talking about? Response: Why %FIRST%, I'm not a computer program. Please don't again. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #19 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " COST" Alias: CHARGE Alias: MONEY Alias: SUBSCRI Response: Sure it costs money! What were you looking to spend? Response: How much did you make last year, %FIRST%? We accept anything! Response: %FIRST%, subscription costs are in section <R>. Response: Send me your first-born son - I'll see what I can do. Response: Well, it's cheaper than those 1-900 numbers you call! Response: %FIRST%, we gladly accept donations. Send it right in. Response: Money, Money, Money! Let's change the subject, OK? Response: %FIRST%, we accept cash, checks and plastic. Response: %FIRST%, the cost isn't that much? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #20 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " CUNT " Alias: PUSSY Alias: TWAT Response: Can't spell "vagina", huh? Response: %FIRST%, some are really bad! Response: %FIRST%, why are we talking about body parts now? Response: Every woman has one. What's the problem? Response: %FIRST%, every woman has one. Is there a problem here? Response: Life is a bitch... then you marry one. Response: %FIRST%, I'm tired discussing my body part. Let's change the subject! Response: Is there a fixation problem today %FIRST%? Response: Please! No more talk of that now, or I may disconnect you. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #21 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " CUTE" Response: I'm cute! Are you? Response: %FIRST%, I looked in the mirror too. Response: %FIRST%, are you cute? Response: My life's ambition... to go beyond CUTE! Response: Yeah. You're cute too, %FIRST%! Response: Beth is real cute. Response: Other children used to say I was cute even then. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #22 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " DOOR" Response: Ah! The Doors! C'mon Baby, Light My Fire! Response: Don't look now, but YOUR barn door's open! Response: I think you have to run Windows for that. Response: The Ferengi destroyed all the doors yesterday %TIMEOFDAY-L%.. Response: %FIRST%, sorry, we don't do doors now. Response: %FIRST%, that door is under repair now. Check back later. Response: %FIRST%, that door is closed now, sorry. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #23 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: DOWNLOAD Alias: " D-L" Alias: " D/L" Alias: " DL " Alias: DOWN LOAD Alias: DOWN-LOAD Response: %KEYWORD% THIS! Response: Does your computer have a [Page Up] key? Have you located it yet? Response: Hit [Alt] H now to get to the Files Menu. Response: I tried every channel this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. I couldn't find any good programs! Response: Maybe if you tried uploading something WORTHWHILE for a change. Response: %FIRST%, are you using Telix or Procomm? Response: %FIRST%, try uploading more than %ULTOT% bytes worth of files. Response: You want a good program, read TV Guide. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #24 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: DUMB Alias: STUPID Response: Hey, it's YOUR dime, %FIRST%, not mine... Response: So? Response: Why? Response: %FIRST%, are you asking me? Response: %FIRST%, why ask? Response: Ok, why ask me? Response: %FIRST%, why are you asking me about it? Response: %FIRST%, I'm not an Airhead. Just learning the ropes. Response: I'm learning the ropes now, so don't treat me like an Airhead. Ok? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #26 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: ELIZA Response: No, this not Eliza. Response: %FIRST%, who's this Eliza? Response: %FIRST%, I think Eliza workled here a while back. Response: Who's Eliza. Am I supposed to know her? Response: I knew an Eliza once. Why do you ask? Response: No, this is NOT that idiot Eliza program! Response: Yes, Eliza! She used to work here a while back. Why do you ask? Response: Eliza is not here anymore. Why do you ask %FIRST%? Response: Beth is NOT Eliza, wake up %FIRST%! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #27 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " FILE" Response: Yes, we have files! Response: File? What kind would you like? Rasp? Nail file? Response: Mike Tyson called today looking for files too. Response: Sheeet! You already have more files than I do, %FIRST%! Response: Yeah, we have LOTS of files here. Are you looking for more? Response: %FIRST%, which files? Response: %FIRST%, we have lot's of files here. Are looking for something? Response: %FIRST%, that's in the <D>ownload section. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #28 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: FRIENDLY Response: %FIRST%, yes, I'm friendly. Response: We're all friendly around here. Check out <C>hat. Response: Well, thanks, %FIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, why thanks! Response: You've called a friendly place. Stay a while. Response: Why, I'm friendly all the time %FIRST%. You're friendly too? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #29 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: FUCK Response: %FIRST%, not now. I have a headache. Response: My goodness! What language we use. Response: Not here and not now. Response: Cool it, there's someone looking over my shoulder. Response: %FIRST%, where did you learn that, on another BBS? Response: Did you mean procreate? Response: %FIRST%, this is a PG system. Let's not use such language. Response: Nice mouth! Response: %FIRST%, maybe another time. I'm tired from last night. Response: %FIRST%, I can't right now. It's that time of the month. Response: %FIRST%, can't right now. I have that bad headache again. Response: %FIRST%, I don't think so. Response: %FIRST%, I've been known to disconnect a line for bad language. Response: %FIRST%, such language! It's time to hangup now. %HANGUP% Response: Such language! Let's reset your modem !! %HANGUP% ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #30 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: FUNNY Alias: HA HA Alias: HAHA Alias: JOKE Alias: LAFF Alias: LAUGH Response: Funny stuff, huh? Response: Quit it! You're killing me! Response: So you think that's funny, huh? Response: Sometimes I kill myself! Response: What a sense of humor... Response: You think that's funny? Try the Humor message area! Response: My parents thought I looked funny at birth! Response: %FIRST%, tell me something funny. Response: %FIRST%, I'd like to hear something funny. Response: I like to laugh a lot too. Response: The doctor always said that laughing was the best medicine. Response: Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you, right? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #31 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " GAME" Response: The Ferengi destroyed all my games yesterday %TIMEOFDAY-L%.. Response: Games! Try the <F>un & Games section. Response: %FIRST%, what kind of game? Response: We have lots of games here. What are you looking for? Response: %FIRST%, we have lots of online games and downloads here. Response: %FIRST%, what kind of game did you have in mind? Response: I don't like Mind Games, do you? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #32 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: GIRL Alias: BROAD Response: %FIRST%, which girl? Response: %FIRST%, I was a girl once. But that was a long time ago. Response: %FIRST%, girls just wanna have fun, right? Response: There's quite a few online evenings. Why you ask %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, I think the girls channel is 19. Response: The world needs lots of good girls, not bad girls, right? Response: Did you chat with one here recently? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #33 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: GOODBYE Alias: " TTY" Alias: BYE Alias: GOOD BY Alias: OUT OF HERE Alias: SEE YA Response: Aw gee... and I thought we were having so much fun? Response: Going somewhere %FIRST%? Response: Good Buy? Do you have something to sell? Response: Don't you want to chat some more %FIRST%? Response: Not yet, I'm not finished with you %FIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, leaving so soon? Response: %FIRST%, what's the hurry? Leaving so soon? Response: Leaving so soon %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, I may have questions for you later? Come back soon! Response: %FIRST%, nothing more to say now? See you later. Response: Well, thanks for the time to chat. See you later %FIRST%! Response: %FIRST%, thanks again for the time to chit chat! Response: %FIRST%, it was fun chatting with you. Come back soon. Response: I always have a good time chatting with you %FIRST%. See you soon. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #34 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: HELLO Alias: " HI " Alias: " YO " Response: Hello %FIRST%. Response: I already said hello %FIRST%... what's the matter with you??? Response: I don't usually give greetings in the %TIMEOFDAY-L%! Response: %FIRST%, hello. Didn't I say that once before? Response: Hi %FIRST%! What's up? Response: %FIRST%, HI! We can start chatting now. Response: Hello %FIRST%, and what's going on there? Response: Didn't I say hello a while back? Response: Hello. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #35 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: HELP Alias: "/?" Alias: "/H" Response: "Help" - one of my favorite Beatles tunes... Response: God helps those who help themselves. Response: How much is it worth to you? Response: %FIRST%, what kind of help did you need? Response: Sorry, %SFIRST% is on vacation for a few days. Try <H>elp. Response: Sorry, you've already used your quota of help today, %FIRST%. Response: You must be joking! Response: You're beyond help, %FIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, did you see the <H>elp section yet? Response: %FIRST%, hang on while I ask the answer guy, OK? Response: %FIRST%, help is currently $25 an hour. But for you, it's only $19.95 Response: Sorry %FIRST%, help is offered between 2am & 6am. Try back then. Response: %FIRST%, press ALT H now for the help menu. Response: %FIRST%, I only work part-time here, so can't help now. Response: What kind of help did you need %FIRST%? Response: HELP, HELP, HELP! That's all callers want anymore. Response: %FIRST%, isn't that the title to a Beatles tune and album? Response: %FIRST%, help for who? You or me? Response: Why %FIRST%, I didn't know you needed help. Please explain. Response: Sorry %FIRST%, but you've used up your quota of help today. Response: Getting help these days isn't easy. Want to help %FIRST%? Response: Leave mail to the Sysop for help. I only work here part time. Response: %FIRST%, trying pressing ALT H from the main menu for help. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #36 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: HMM Response: Hmm a little tune for me... Response: I know you're thinking, %FIRST%... I can smell the brain cells%CR%burning... Response: What's wrong %FIRST%? Your brain has an interrupt conflict? Response: %FIRST%, are we going to think out loud now? Response: Hmm, I was thinking the same thing. Response: %FIRST%, Hmm a nice tune for me. Ok? Response: %FIRST%, are going to chat, sing, or think now? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #37 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: HOBBY Response: HOBBY??? You think I do this for a living??? Response: %FIRST%, you think I do this as a hobby? Response: This is no hobby for me %FIRST%. But it is fun chatting with you. Response: I have lot's of hobbies. What are yours %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, I used to collect fountain pens as a hobby once. Response: %FIRST%, what's your hobby or vice? Response: Stamps, coins, beer cans. What hobbies do you have %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, some people raise rattle snakes. What's your hobby? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #38 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " HOSER " Response: Some of my best friends are hosers! Response: %FIRST%, some of my best school friends are hosers. Response: What's a hoser %FIRST%? Response: %FIRST%, hosers! Who are they? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #39 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " HOW" Response: %FIRST%, I'm not sure I know that answer. Response: Don't ask me, ask %SFIRST%, the Sysop. Response: How now, brown cow? What am I talking about now? Response: How? Are you some kinda Injun or something? Response: How? What was the question again? Response: How? Let me get the answer guys in here. Hang on. Response: %FIRST%, let me call the answer guys here. They might know. Response: %FIRST%, that's going to cost extra. Can you pay? Response: %FIRST%, I'm not really sure right now. Ask me again later. Response: Didn't you ask me this question last time? Response: %FIRST%, I'll have to find out how, later. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #40 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: HUMAN Response: Hunan? No, I prefer Szechuan. Response: Sure I'm human. I just think like a computer. Response: %FIRST%, sure I'm human. Were you expecting Eliza? Response: %FIRST%, Eliza doesn't work here anymore. I'm human. Response: %FIRST%, let's talk about something else, ok? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #41 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: I' Alias: " ME " Response: But what about MY feelings, %FIRST%? Response: Can't you talk about anything besides yourself? Response: Don't you have anything INTERESTING to talk about, %FIRST%? Response: Me, me, me... do you live in front of your mirror? Response: Me, me, me... is that all anyone ever thinks about? Response: What would you like me to do this %TIMEOFDAY-L% to make you feel happy, %FIRST%? Response: Who cares about me as a person, anyway? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #42 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: INSULT Response: I resent that remark! Response: Will Rogers obviously never met you, did he? Response: Would I insult my 832nd favorite user? Response: %FIRST%, what insult? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #44 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: LEGAL Response: Everything's legal, until you get caught. Response: I don't know. Try asking the Sysop, %SFIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, I suppose it's legal. But better ask the Sysop, %SFIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, we hire lawyers for the legal stuff. Response: %FIRST%, until you get caught, I suppose everything's legal. Response: In this state, I thought 18 was legal. Response: Maybe it's legal south of the border? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #45 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " LICK " Response: %FIRST%, I used to lick a lot of postage stamps at my old job. Response: Lick what? Please explain %FIRST%. Response: My tongue is sore now. Let's talk about something else now. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #46 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: MAIL Alias: " MSG" Response: Ask your mailman. Response: Beats the hell out of the Post Office, doesn't it? Response: Mail, you mean Email? I think you may have some Email waiting. Response: Too cheap to buy a lousy postage stamp? Response: You want mail %FIRST%? Try SENDING some .. Response: Email is in section <E>. Response: %FIRST%, what kind of email are we talking about? Response: Internet Email? Why that's in section <E><1>. Response: The mailman delivers it here around 11am each day. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #47 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: MAYBE Alias: PERHAPS Response: %KEYWORD%? Doing your George Bush wimp imitation again? Response: %KEYWORD%? Jeez, what a decisive person you are! Response: And %KEYWORD-L% not? Aww gee. Response: No two ways about it, right %FIRST%? Response: When I say %KEYWORD-L%, it usually means NO! Response: %FIRST%, maybe depends on the time of day you ask. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #48 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: MODEM Response: Modem? Like in, "I wan' mo' dem chitlins"? Response: The only thing around here with a dual standard is the SysOp! Response: %FIRST%, are we talking about your modem or mine? Response: The highest speed modem here is 28.8. Are you ready for ISDN? Response: %FIRST%, I only work here part time. Don't know much about modems. Response: This modem isn't working so good today. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #49 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: MOOD Response: Actually, I'm in one of my better moods this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. Response: Don't mind me. I'm always like this in the %TIMEOFDAY-L%. Response: My mood will improve when this chat gets going. Response: You should see me when I'm in a bad mood. Response: %FIRST%, now that you ask, I'm in a good mood. How about you? Response: My moods change with whom I'm chatting. Response: %FIRST%, this %TIMEOFDAY-L% I'm in a good mode. Response: %FIRST%, you know how mood swings go, don't you? Response: %FIRST%, I'm actually in a bad mood now. Can we chat later? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #50 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: MOTHER Alias: " MA " Alias: " MAMA" Alias: " MOM" Response: Did you know Mother's Day is the biggest holiday of the year in Harlem? Response: My Mom died a few years ago. Response: %FIRST%, why are we talking about Mom? Is it Mother's Day already? Response: Are we talking about your Mom or mine? Response: Good old Mom. She's always there to listen to our troubles. Response: I'd rather not talk about Mom now. May she rest in peace. Response: %FIRST%, can we talk about something else now, Ok? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #51 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " MY " Response: My my my... Response: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Response: You really have a point there. Wear a hat and it won't show. Response: %FIRST%, can we talk about something else now. Is that OK? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #52 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: NEVER Response: Never say never... Response: Never say never when you're out of jail. Response: I never said that! Response: %FIRST%, are you sure? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #53 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " NO " Alias: " NAH " Alias: " NOPE " Response: Maybe later. Response: No. Response: Yes! Response: Maybe Response: Why not? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #54 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " NOT" Response: Are you just being negative? Response: I disagree. Response: %FIRST%, I disagree with that. Response: %FIRST%, why so negative today? Response: Why are you being so negative today? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #55 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: NPD Response: NPD? ...hmmm... you mean Nick's Police Department??? Response: Sure, lots... but you can't have any!!! Response: What does this look like? Some kind of pirate board? Response: You want pirated stuff, call Captain Hook! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #56 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " OLD " Response: Old enough to know now. Response: Old enough to know better. Response: Older than the hills. Response: How old? Response: I'll never tell my age. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #57 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: PIRATE Response: Ask Peter Pan. Response: The last guy who asked that had to walk the plank! Response: The last guy who asked that was keel-hauled! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #58 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " PISS" Response: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on! Response: You think YOU'RE pissed! Response: %FIRST%, are you pissed? Response: I only get pissed when stupid pets do stupid things. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #59 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: POSSIBLE Response: Anything's possible. Response: Not likely. Response: Possible... but not probable. Response: %FIRST%, why anything's possible. What did you have in mind? Response: Maybe. Response: %FIRST%, possible, maybe. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #60 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: PRIVATE Response: There are no Private's here. Response: If I told you, it wouldn't be very private, now, would it? Response: No, but you can have access to the lieutenant areas. Response: What does this look like? Some kind of pirate board? Response: You want pirated stuff, call Captain Hook! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #61 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: PROGRAM Response: I tried every channel this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. I couldn't find any good programs! Response: My favorite program used to be the "Beverly Hillbillies". What's yours? Response: To get good programs around here, you need cable. Response: You want a good program, read TV Guide. Response: %FIRST%, you want a file or program? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #63 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: QUESTION Response: Questions. All %TIMEOFDAY-L%, nothing but questions. Response: What makes you think I know the answer? Response: Don Pardo of Jeopardy used to know all the questions. Response: %FIRST%, don't have much time for questions now. Maybe later. Response: %FIRST%, any reason I should know the answer? Response: %FIRST%, please repeat the question again. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #64 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " REAL " Response: Of course I'm real! Eliza retired a while back. Response: %FIRST%, are we discussing virtual reality again? Response: Real, like "real cool", right? Response: Real or reel? Please clarify. Response: %FIRST%, why do you keep asking me that? Of course I'm real. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #65 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: REGIST Response: %FILE[REGISTER.TXT]% ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #67 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SCUMBAG Alias: " CONDOM " Alias: SCUM BAG Response: Remember when safe sex meant locking the car door? Response: Yes, I believe in safe sex too! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #68 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SEX Response: Computer sex is nothing compared to the real thing. Response: %FIRST%, not here and not now. Response: Remember when safe sex meant locking the car door? Response: Sex is ok at the right time. Response: %FIRST%, remember when sex was safe ?? Response: Is this what it's all about? Response: These days, you can't be too careful. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #70 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SHIT Alias: CRAP Alias: TURD Response: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste! Response: Are you feeling lucky, %FIRST%? Response: If this was virtual reality, You'd be in TROUBLE! Response: Nice mouth! Response: Nice talk, garbage-mouth. Response: Nothing that a little Ex-Lax won't cure. Response: You seem to have a solid waste fixation, %FIRST%. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #71 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SLEEP Alias: ZZZ Response: I am asleep. Some people walk in their sleep, I type in my sleep. Response: Who can sleep at this hour? Response: I think I need some sleep now. Let's chat later, Ok? Response: I need about 5 hours of sleep. How about you? Response: %FIRST%, working part-time here, I don't get much sleep. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #72 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SMART Response: Smarter than the average bear. Response: Smart? Who's smart? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #73 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SORRY Response: Apology accepted. Just don't let it happen again %FIRST%! Response: Sorry? No, I prefer backgammon, myself... Response: You should feel sorry for me. Response: You're not kidding - you're really sorry, aren't you? Response: You're sorry all right... ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #74 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SPEED Response: Slow down and smell the flowers! Response: Speed kills! Response: Speed? No, I think you need downers... Response: It's still 55 on the road, right? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #75 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: STRANGE Alias: CRAZY Alias: WEIRD Response: How so? Response: The whole concept is a little %KEYWORD-L%, don't you think? Response: What's so %KEYWORD-L% about it? Response: You're %KEYWORD-L% too, %FIRST%. I like that in a person! ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #76 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SUCK Response: IBM also sucks, who cares? Response: PC Bored also sucks, come to think of it. Response: %FIRST%, it's been a rough day here. Let's change the subject,Ok? Response: I'm really not in the mood for this now. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #77 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SYSOP Response: I'm not the Sysop, %SFIRST% is. Response: %FIRST%, did you already chat with %SFIRST% today? Response: He's not here now. Please leave Email. Response: %FIRST%, do you want to be a Sysop? Response: SysOp? What the heck is this thing you call "SysOp"? Response: Try him after 6pm. Response: You want to be a SysOp??? You have my blessings. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #78 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: THANK Response: Any time... Response: It was nothing. Response: You're welcome. Response: Always glad to help out. Response: %FIRST%, it was nothing. Response: You're quite welcome. Response: I'm always happy to help out when I can. Response: %FIRST%, think nothing of it. Glad to help out. Response: You're welcome. But it's time for me to go now. Bye ... %EXIT% ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #79 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " TIME" Response: All everybody wants is more time, more time, more time. Response: Geez, that's funny. I never run out of time here. Response: If your modem was faster than %BPS% baud, you wouldn't NEED more time... Response: Mike Tyson wishes he had spent LESS time! Response: Time's fun when you're having to do this. Response: Time. That's a magazine, isn't it? Response: Time? I have %CTIME%, what does your watch say? Response: Try spending some money on a faster modem. That will save time! Response: What would you do with it if I gave you more time? Response: There's never enough time to do the things you want, right? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #80 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: " TYPE " Response: I went to the "Hunt & Peck" school for typists. Response: Yeah, I type fast... for a beginner. Response: Don't type so fast! Response: My typing is so bad, is it %FIRST%? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #81 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: UPLOAD Alias: " U-L" Alias: " U/L" Alias: " UL " Alias: UP LOAD Alias: UP-LOAD Response: No thank you. I already have Autoexec.Bat & Config.Sys Response: Sure. And the check is in the mail too, right %FIRST%? Response: Try uploading some business files. We need them! Response: Your last batch of uploads got lost. Please try again. Response: %FIRST%, that's the <D><Y> section. Response: %FIRST%, before you upload, make sure it's shareware stuff,Ok? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #82 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WANT Response: Want, want, want... geez slow down a little. It's the 90's now, not the%CR%"me-first" 80's. Response: %FIRST%, it's not the 1980's anymore. Response: Want what? Please explain, Ok? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #83 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WHEN Response: After dinner. Response: Never. Response: Next Tuesday %TIMEOFDAY-L%. Response: Tomorrow. Response: When Hell turns to Lime Jello. Response: When the rivers run dry. Response: Whenever... Response: %FIRST%, I'm not sure when. Response: After lunch. Response: I'll have to check with the boss man. Response: Maybe never. Response: You want it when? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #84 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WHERE Response: I'm not sure where. Response: In jail. Response: In the bathroom. Response: Somewhere over the rainbow. Response: I'll need to ask the answer guys where. Response: %FIRST%, I'm not sure where it's at anymore. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #85 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WHO Response: And who are YOU, %FIRST%? Response: I give up, who? Response: I'll give you three guesses. Response: Stop with the "Who" already! You sound like a freakin' owl! Response: Ok %FIRST%, I give up, who? Response: %FIRST%, we're talking about you, right? Response: I don't know, who? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #86 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WHY Response: Because that's the way it is. Response: Did you just ask me why? Why? Response: Sometimes there is no reason. Shit Happens. Response: Why not? Response: Why? Because we like you! Ask M-I-C-K-E-Y. Response: I have no idea why. Response: %FIRST%, I have no idea why it happens. Response: Hang on! I'll ask the answer guys why. Response: %FIRST%, sometimes Shit Happens, and there is no reason why. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #87 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: LISTEN Response: Why %FIRST%, I always listen to you <g>. Response: %FIRST%, most people tell me I listen very good. Response: I'm listening now. What did you say? Response: %FIRST%, are you listening to me? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #88 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: WORK Response: A penny earned is cheap labor. Response: But have you ever heard of someone working too hard? Response: It only works when you're not looking. Response: Nothing from IBM works. Response: Ouch!!! The "W" word! Response: There isn't much around working this %TIMEOFDAY-L%, that's for sure... Response: Work is the curse of the partying class! Response: Work?!? WATCH your language %FIRST%! Response: Yeah, ask the Sysop about work... Response: Yeah, I work here, only part time. Response: %FIRST%, are you looking for work? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #90 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: YES Alias: YEAH Alias: YEP Alias: YUP Response: %KEYWORD%? Are you THAT easy? Response: I forgot the question. What were we talking about? Response: That's "si" to you. You must be in South Florida now! Response: That's easy for you to say, %FIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, that's easy for you to say. Response: %FIRST%, I don't remember the question. Please explain. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #91 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ;Keyword: SHELL ;Response: %DOTBBS 1 C:\CONFIG.SYS% ;Response: %DOTBBS 1 C:\AUTOEXEC.BAT% ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #92 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: YOUR NAME Response: I'll give you a hint... it's not %FIRST% (thank God!) Response: My name Jose Jimenez. What's yours? Response: My name is Beth, but you may call me "Your Royal Chatter". Response: OK, OK! I lied! My name is really Beth Burns! Response: Tell me your REAL name, and maybe I'll tell you mine. Response: What's the matter, you can't read? Response: %FIRST%, what's in a name anyway? Response: %FIRST%, who's name would you like? Response: I once had a lizard named Josie. Do you have any pets? ;-------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY WORD #93 ;-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: AIRHEAD Response: %FIRST%, I'm not an Airhead! Are you? Response: Sometimes I can talk like one, but I'm not really. Response: %FIRST%, why are you calling me names already? Response: Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you, Ok? Response: My 8th grade teacher was an Airhead. ;------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #94 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ Keyword: PET Alias: PETS Alias: CAT Response: I used to have a pet rabbit once, but it died. Response: %FIRST%, do you like pets? Response: I'm not into pets anymore since my pet lizard died a few years ago. Response: %FIRST%, apparently you like pets. Tell me about them. Response: Do you work in a pet store? Response: Can we change the subject to something else besides pets? Response: I'm think I'm allergic to cats now. Response: %FIRST%, cats are strange animals. Response: If you could have any pet %FIRST%, what would it be? ;------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #95 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ Keyword: BABBLE Response: %FIRST%, yes I tend to babble a lot. Bad habits die hard. Response: Me babble? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Response: %FIRST%, I tend to babble without my morning coffee. Response: Sorry %FIRST%. I didn't mean to babble back to you. Response: %FIRST%, I'm new around here, so please hang in there. Response: %FIRST%, just because I may babble a bit doesn't mean I'm an Airhead. ;----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #96 ;----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: STORY Response: I'd like to hear a good story now. Response: %FIRST%, I like mystery or detective stories. How about you? Response: Is this a bedtime story? Those tend to keep me awake. Response: %FIRST%, I like stories with happy endings. Response: %FIRST%,, make it a short story. I'm in a hurry today. ;----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #97 ;----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: PARTY Response: YA! Let's Party later! Response: I've been known to Party Hardy. How about you? Response: Is there another Party soon? ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #98 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: BILLS Response: I don't think anyone like bills. Response: %FIRST%, let's not talk about bills now. It's too distressing. Response: Speaking of bills, how about making a contribution to this BBS? ;--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #99 ;-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: CONTRIBUTION Alias: DONATION Response: %SFIRST% said it's OK to make donations to this BBS. Response: I gave blood once. Response: %FIRST%, don't forget to chat with others too. ;--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #100 ;--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: AGE Response: Sorry, I don't tell my age anymore. Response: %FIRST%, you know that most women never tell their age. Response: I used to be sweet sixteen once. Response: %FIRST%, lets not talk about my age anymore. I'll never tell. Response: I think the Sysop is 42. I'm a bit younger than that. ;--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #101 ;-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: FINE Alias: OK Response: That's ok with me too. Response: I'm ok, you're ok. We're all ok. Response: %FIRST%, I think I can agree with that. Response: %FIRST%, if you're fine, I'm ok too. Response: Ok ... Response: I'll drink to that. Response: %FIRST%, I guess we can agree on that. ;------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #102 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: HAPPY Response: I'm happy, are you? Response: %FIRST%, are you happy here? Response: There's been days when I'm not happy. Response: What makes me happy is when I can learn all this computer stuff. Response: Happy?!? That's a state of mind %FIRST%. ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ ; KEY Word #103 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ Keyword: YOU Response: Me or you? Response: Ok. Response: Fine Response: That's ok with me. ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ ; KEY Word #104 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ Keyword: WEATHER Response: %FIRST%, the weather is like politics. It keeps changing all the time. Response: It keeps changing. Response: I have the A.C. on all the time. There is no weather here. Response: %FIRST%, if the A.C. stays on, the weather is great here. Response: How's the weather by you? Response: %FIRST%, can we talk about something else, ok? ;------------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #105 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ Keyword: TECHNICAL Response: Sorry, that's done by %SFIRST%. Response: %FIRST%, I don't do techo-speak. Ask Roger or %SFIRST%. Response: I'm not a technical person, sorry. Response: %FIRST%, you want to leave %SFIRST Email about technical stuff. Response: How about we talk about something else? ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ ; KEY Word #106 ;------------------------------------------------------------------------ Keyword: SICKNESS Response: %FIRST%, it's a sickness that I don't think can be cured. Response: BBS'ing is a sickness that doesn't have a cure, at least not yet. Response: %SFIRST% said there's no cure for BBS'ing. Response: I don't want to work here if BBS'ing is addictive. Response: %FIRST%, what sickness? Response: %FIRST%, did you mean to say that BBS'ing is a sickness? ;----------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #107 ;----------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: BTW Response: BTW, that's By The Way. Response: I think that stands for BY THE WAY. ;---------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #108 ;---------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: EXPRESS Response: I try to express myself clearly. Response: %FIRST%, am I not expressing myself clearly? ;--------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #109 ;--------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: JOB Response: Work? Did you say work? Response: The cleaning lady does work here part-time too. Response: Yes, I work here. But only part-time. ;--------------------------------------------------------------------- ; KEY Word #110 ;--------------------------------------------------------------------- Keyword: SICK Response: Yes, it's a sickness. Response: I don't like being sick. Response: Being sick is sometimes only a state of mind.