<TD WIDTH=460><FONT COLOR="#6600BB"><STRONG><FONT SIZE="5">Why coffee is better than women</FONT></STRONG><br>
1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.<BR>
2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.<BR>
3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.<BR>
4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.<BR>
5. You can always warm coffee up.<BR>
6. Coffee comes with endless refills.<BR>
7. Coffee is cheaper.<BR>
8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.<BR>
9. Coffee never runs out.<BR>
10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.<BR>
11. You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.<BR>
12. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.<BR>
13. You can smoke while drinking coffee.<BR>
14. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.<BR>
15. Coffee smells and tastes good.<BR>
16. You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.<BR>
17. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.<BR>
18. You can always get fresh coffee.<BR>
19. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back.<BR>
20. They sell coffee at police stations.<BR>
21. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.<BR>
22. Coffee goes down easier.<BR>
23. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.<BR>
24. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.<BR>
25. A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.<BR>
26. Your coffee doesn't talk to you.<BR>
27. Coffee smells good in the morning.<BR>
28. Coffee is good when it's cold too.<BR>
29. Coffee stains are easier to remove.<BR>
30. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.<BR>
31. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.<BR>
32. Coffee doesn't shed.<BR>
33. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.<BR>
34. You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.<BR>
35. Coffee doesn't mind being ground.<BR>
36. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.<BR>
37. Coffee doesn't have a time of the month...it's good all the time.<BR>
38. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.<BR>
39. When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your
throat.<BR>
40. Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.<BR>
41. Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.<BR>
42. INSTANT COFFEE!<BR>
43. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.<BR>
44. It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.<BR>
45. Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.<BR>
This list compiled by Ant, Shanen, Ken, and Ratt. Hope you've all enjoyed.
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<font size="3"><B>So. This <I>is</I> perhaps a tad sexist. So don't get mad, get even. <a href="mailto:julian_patterson@vnu.co.uk">Mail us</a> a decent response and if it's remotely funny or even wildly earnest and unamused, or both, we'll put it up.</B></font></FONT>
